YouTubes

It's pawn shop video time! Here's the amazing video for Heidi Montag's "Higher." I think the Popeye's 2-piece meal I ate last night cost more than this piece of shit. I mean....the videos I used to make when I was 11-years-old had higher production values than this. This video is basically Girls Gone Wild without the emotional intensity meets those karaoke videos. The only thing that kept me watching the entire video was the hope that a giant shark was going to jump out of the ocean and swallow this plastic bitch whole. They can't even synch up the music with the video correctly! Somebody tell Heidi just to skip to hardcore porn already and save everyone the suffering of having to deal with her music.

The only thing better than this amazing video is the "making of." I'm totally depressed that the fisherman didn't make the final cut. He definitely has star power. I guess he took the spotlight off of Heidi too much.

Sarah Silverman gave Jimmy Kimmel a special pressie for his 5th Anniversary last night on his show. Sarah is either on or off and she's on here. Although, Matt Damon sort of steals her thunder. Who knew that meat head could be so funny? The whole Matt Damon thing is a running joke on Jimmy's show. Jimmy always makes jokes about not having time for Damon.

I can't wait for the ultra techno dance remix of this.

VIA SOW

London commuters got a little free entertainment on the tube the other day when a group of people got out of their seats and busted out Michael Jackson's "Thriller." They performed the routine and then sat down like nothing ever happened.

A spokeswhore for the London transport system said, "There are clearly occasions, like this, when everyone enjoys being entertained by some talented people. There are other occasions where inconsiderate behaviour can spoil a journey for other passengers. Our message is simply that a little consideration to your fellow passengers can make a real difference to everyone."

Isn't that the truth! Nothing is worse than starting your morning with some dumb bitch preaching their cause on the subway. I do not want to hear about how Jesus is coming and I need to "cleanse myself" while I'm trying to read an article about dildos in Time Out magazine. Kills the mood.

These tube dancers are hot, but they don't have shit on those prisoners in the Philippines.

Thanks Nick

The World's most famous party douche, Corey Worthington, got his ass beat and it was caught on camera. Corey is that dude from Australia who threw a huge party while his parents were on vacation. He was later arrested on child porn charges after a sex video was found in his room by his parents. Anyway, Corey was engaged in a pre-arranged fight near a shopping center yesterday.

The fight was arranged after Corey got into an altercation with a boy named Chris. Pre-arranged? Is this fucking West Side Story? Corey is more like Anita than Bernardo.

A witness said, "It was a sort of planned fight. He (Corey) came with all his friends to fight. He thinks he's all that because he's famous now."

The police are investigating the fight.

That's all fine and dandy, but are his sunglasses ok? That's all I care about.

Thanks Mike

I've never been to Baltimore, but I wish I had been in the 80s, because this commercial is hot shit. It's for Mr. Ray's Hair Weave and I guess it doesn't exist anymore. A shame. I called to make an appointment, but the digits belong to another joint. No free consultation needed for me. I was going to order whatever the hot white woman in the commercial had done. She is looking and feeling fine her new look. I can tell. I would be every kind of hot in that weave. I'm being serious.

All commercials need to be made just like this.

Thanks Peaches

Toothless crackhead alert! It was only a matter of time before a gay sex scandal would hit Barack Obama. Meet Larry Sinclair. He made this YouTube video of himself reading cue cards and detailing his sexy encounter with Obama in 1999. Larry claims to have met Obama in an "upscale" lounge in Chicago. They left the lounge and got into Larry's limo. In the limo Obama did crack cocaine and Larry gave him a blowjob.

Larry also says the mainstream media and Obama have tried to prevent this story from becoming public. He also challenges Obama to take a polygraph.

Let's get some facts straight, Larry. Like you've ever set foot in an "upscale" lounge in your life. It was White Castle and you know it. It wasn't a limo, it was your mom's 1980 Oldsmobile Cutlass. It wasn't Obama, it was the neighborhood dope dealer. You gummed his dick for a rock.

And Larry, you are good enough, you are smart enough and doggone it, people like you!

VIA Towleroad

Brit Brit was at Millenium dance studios last night working on choreography for her new video "Hot As Ice." People reports that she's doing the entire routine around a chair. Anyway, Brit still has that hideous British accent and she turned it on thick last night. My Fart Lady! When a homeless man asks her for some help, she says to him, "You would rather be homeless than be me, sir." The homeless man responds with, "Let them see you do something good for once." That dude is awesome.

Britney also tells the photographers that she "doesn't know who Adnan is" when she's asked about him.

I think she's telling the truth. This crazy bitch has no idea who Adnan is. Remember! She's doing the British accent which means she's the "British girl." Her accent makes Julia Roberts' British accent from Mary Shelley sound like some authentic shit.

Click here if you can't see the video

MediaTakeOut has a video of R&B singer Trey Songz delivering a beat down to someone in the audience during one of his shows. It all starts fine and dandy, but then someone throws ice at him. Trey asks who in the audience did it and then grabs his bodyguard and the two fly into the audience like they are in The Matrix or something. Apparently, they gave the dude a major beat down and stole his grills reports AllHipHop. After the little bitch fight Trey got back onstage and finished his set.

Trey is so fucking hardcore. Yeah, I could deliver major beatings if I had a 300lb bodyguard helping me too. Stupid ass. He was probably flailing his arms while his bodyguard did all the work.

VIA TMZ

In case you missed it, here's a video featuring Penelope Cruz and her sister, Monica Cruz, being all slutty and lesbian-like. The video is for their brother, Eduardo Cruz's shitty song. In the video, Penny and Monica are dubbing a porn movie into Spanish. They also sort of kiss, but it's nothing hot. I get the feeling that these Cruz siblings really want to have a threesome with each other.

Britney's video for "Piece of Me" debuts on 20/20 on ABC at 10 tomorrow night. I guess they are doing this whole thing on Britney and her best friends in the entire world, the paparazzi. Awww...family videos. Above is a little sneak peek of it and I love how most of the shots of Britney are all tight. They should've left that long shot on the cutting room floor though. Would it kill her to wear a full shirt at least once during a video? Yeah, it probably would.

Brit still looks like she's in a frapp/adderall coma waiting for them to yell "cut" so she can scurry off and refuel on sugar and pills.

So set your Tivos and get the cheetos ready.

Click here if you're having trouble with the video

VIA ONTD