Kelly Osbourne

 

Jack Osbourne looks much better now than the old days, of course. But is he really hot or do I only think he's hot, because he used to be so fug? I've asked my genitals and they don't know. They only know one thing. Oh screw it. I'd let Jack jack it on me. I bet you he has saggy skin though. Raunch.

 

Here's Jack with Kelly at the National TV Awards in London last night. 

 

 

Wenn

 

 

 

Has Halloweenie come early for Kelly Osbourne?! This is straight out of some Dario Argento horror movie. Bitch looks like a Goth Russian nanny coming for your children.

 

The headshot alone deserves its own exhibition at the FUG AS HELL museum.

 

 

Splash , Wenn

 

 

 

 

Kelly Osbourne said on the opening night as Mama Morton in "Chicago" in London she was so nervous that she actually puked in her own mouth.

 

She said, "I threw up in my mouth. I thought, 'What am I going to do? There's no bin here'. So I had to actually swallow it and then through the whole first scene all I could think was, 'I hope Annette [who plays Velma] can't smell my throw-up breath'. I was so scared.'"

 

Sometimes vomit is the gift that keeps on giving. It's bad when the vomit goes through your nose and suddenly you have a mixture of puke and mocos on your toilet seat.  

 

Honestly though, puke breath is nothing compared to coke breath. I always know when I'm in a bar or a party when a bitch has been dancing with the dust. That bitch's breath will smell like they just finished drinking a cup of their dog's anal glands fluid. 

 

 

 

 

The devil has once again brought the sloooooowwwweeeeest news day ever! I'm about to start writing about turtles and cats. What's stopped me in the past, right?

This is why I bring you Kelly Osbourne on some British chat show trying to beat the world's record for eating jelly with chopsticks. By the looks of these pictures she didn't do it.

Amateur. All I would need is some sugar and I'd make that shit go down so fast. Sugar should go on everything: Cokie-Cola, white bread, jizz....whatever!

 

Lately, Kelly Osbourne has been looking quite hot to me. She looks like something that belongs in a Tim Burton movie, but she just looks so precious. Her skin is like gleaming white porcelain. It's a lovely change from the tanorexic, fake tittied skanks we usually see. From now on I'm only going to be nice to her. SIKE!!!!

 

Here's Kelly and Kate Moss' current piece Jamie Hince in London last night. Ugh, Dreamboat Doherty really needs to come out of rehab right now. I'm so sick of seeing this fug ass Hince! He looks like Count Von Count!

 

 

 

 

I can never get over how damn white Kelly Osbourne is. She must bathe in baby powder. I'm surprised the camera lense doesn't break from the brightness of Kelly. She is looking hotter than usual.

 

Here's Kelly and DJ Jodie Harsh out last night in London. Yes Jodie is a drag queen and yes she's prettier than Kelly. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kelly Osbourne has been confirmed to make her West End theater debut in "Chicago" as Mama Morton. 22-year-old Kelly will start performances on September 10th.

 

Kelly has lost a little weight for the role, but what weight she hasn't lost Photoshop has taken care of. They even airbrushed out her tattoos. Fancy that.  Below is a picture of Kelly in June with more Chicago ads. 

 

Yeah, she looks good, but she's also probably barely breathing from being stuffed into that corset!  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kelly Osbourne will make her stage debut in the musical "Chicago" as Mama Morton. Queen Latifah played the role in the film. She is expected to play the role in the West End of London this Fall. There's also rumors she'll repeat the role on Broadway.

 

A source said, "The word on the street is that Kelly is going to play Mama Morton in Chicago from September. She's been practising like mad."

 

Shit! They will put anyone in that show. I wouldn't be surprised if they put Blohan's Car Chase Trio in that damn musical! 

 

All the "practise" (that's how the British sluts spell it) in the world won't change the fact that she doesn't have a lick of talent!

 

Source

 

 

 

 

 

That's not a dime store wig, but it's Kelly Osbourne's real hair. She honestly looks Ozzy Osbourne in drag. Kelly please make it black and everything will be fine.

 

Kelly joined Jenny McCarthy in a "posh bob" and Carmen Electra at the opening of Ripley's Believe It Or Not in NYC.  I believe it.

 

 

 

 

Fug alert! Kelly Osbourne and Kimbo Stewart were in Venice today shooting some kind of reality show. I have no idea what the premise is, but I'm sure it's lame. Maybe they join ugly forces to see how fast they can clear crowds.  Whatever it is...I don't want.

 

Two fugs don't make a right!