Crazy

Kenley Collins, the pussy thrower of Williamsburg, has moved out of the Brooklyn apartment she shared with her fiance (now ex) Zac Penley after she was arrested for attacking him with a pussy and fruit. Kenley told The New York Post yesterday that she broke up with Zac, because she wants to stay in New York and he wants to travel. The loon forgot to mention that he wants to travel far, far, far away, change his name, get a sex change and pray that Kenley never finds him again.

The almost Mrs. Kenley Penley went on to say that she's going to let Zac keep the cat she threw at him! The cat that belongs to him! Not only is she crazier than a full season of Intervention, but she's also so fucking generous. Oh, Kenley, stick your head in a toilet and keep flushing until all the crazy pours out of your ear holes.

Kenley added, "The girl cat Sandra is mine and the boy cat Arlo (above) is his." Arlo might have been thrown across the room, but it sounds like he got off easy, because he doesn't have to live with Kenley. Sandra is fucked. Sandra better learn how to use a phone, so she can call in anonymous tips to the fucking ASPCA. I mean, having to listen to Kenley's screechy voice that can kill a morning has to be some sort of pussy abuse.

Kenley was charged with being a fucking psycho, throwing a pussy and abusing produce. Kenley could get 7 years in the clink if convicted.

Kenley Collins, the screechy tugboat captain's daughter from Project Runway 5, was arrested in Brooklyn yesterday morning after she went fucking insane on her fiance and woke him up by throwing a cat at him! Only this looneytard....

The New York Post says that Zac Penley woke up to a pussy in his face and it wasn't the one he was having a wet dream over (Heidi Klum). The pussy was just the grand opening. Kenley also threw her laptop, three apples (FRUIT ABUSE) and water at him. Zac crawled to a phone and called 911. After the attack, Kenley reportedly told him, "You're lucky, it could have been worse."

TMZ says Kenley was charged with a bunch of shit including "2nd degree assault, 3rd degree assault and criminal possession of a weapon in the 4th degree."

After she was released without bail, Kenley told The Post, "It was a miscommunication. Fights happen, And that's that. There is no case." Yeah, tell that to the poor pussy who was thrown across the room. I really hope that before that pussy quit that bitch, it pissed and went caca in all of Kenley's stupid hats.

You know, Kenley probably realized that if she married Zac she would become KENLEY PENLEY. That's what drove her over the edge.

Kenley Penley the pussy thrower is like the worst person ever.

The blonde chick in the picture above says it all: "I went to junior college for this shit!?" Yes. Yes, you did.

Last night, the crazy circus in OctoMommy's head re-imagined itself on her front lawn in La Habra, CA. That's because for some fucked up reason, the hospital allowed her to bring two of her eight newborns home. Somehow the media and hundreds of people got the hint this was going to happen. Yeah, they must have figured it out thanks to the press release, the sky writing in the air and OctoCrazy running down the street screaming, "MY BABEHS ARE COMING HOME at 8:02pm pst, get a picture with them for $4.99."

Kaiser Permanente in Bellflower agreed to release Noah and Isaiah after checking OctoCrazy's new house and making sure she had enough help to take care of them. They obviously didn't check the house in her head!

The other six newborns are still in the hospital.

I wonder how hard it was getting Noah and Isaiah out of the hospital? They were probably grabbing on to furniture, holding on to the elevators and screaming for mercy as the Crazy Baby Lady dragged them out.

Here's some video and a few pictures of all the madness. OctoCrazy's fucked-up dreams are coming true! I haven't seen an insane twinkle in the eye like that since Jack Nicholson in The Shining.

These pictures of Amy Wino in London today look like they were taken at some premiere, but she's actually arriving at court! Only this crazy crackie would smile and pose like she's ready to down some champagne. Bitch, you're going to court! Most of us growl, throw our fits up in the air and cry when we have to step foot in a courthouse for whatever reason. This crackette looks fucking thrilled. Maybe they told her there's a heroin, computer duster, weed, and vodka buffet waiting inside? Hey, but at least she got hosed down for the occasion. And her crack chichis are looking spectacular. Just look and don't touch. Motorboating a Wino may cause seizures, foaming at the mouth and a severe addiction to ice pops.

The former Crackie of Camden was in court today to answer to charges that she whooped a trick at a charity event back in September. It was a quick affair. Wino stumbled in, pleaded "not guilty" and then stumbled out. She should have just pleaded "WINO," which is code for "above the motherfucking law." How dare the court tear away her crackhive from its pipe for this shit!

An anonymous ho has been sending around screen caps from Blohan's supposed secret Twitter account, sevinnyne (SamRo's is jackdaniels9). The anonymous ho says that yesterday morning, after partying until 4:30am, Blohan had a Tweeter freak out until 8 in the morning. She must have stepped out of the hazy white cloud for a quick minute, because she deleted all these messages, but the anonymous ho managed to screen cap them before she did.

Anonymous Ho added that some of them have been cropped, but one of her crazier ones reads in full: "should you end it if the one person in the world fails to love, hold/comfort, apologize, and CHERISH you the night before jail? LIARS R COWARDS cuz they don't know what they got til it is far gone. and people-if you fucking love someone. PUT UR PRIDE A-fucking-SIDE AND JUST LOVE THEM BACK! do not ever dj before calling if they ARE FUCKING ABOUT TO GET ARRESTED FOR CHASING YOU TO MAKE YOU STAY"

It's like a Courtney Love blog mated with a Kanye West blog rant. If you put your nose up to the screen and snort really hard, you might get a little buzz.

But I want to know how she's able to Twitter shit that's longer than 250 characters?! I always want to drown myself in a crack pipe whenever Twitter cuts my ass off at 250! Blohan must have the secret.

My favorite line in all of this has to be "la needs better restaurants." Through all the amazing craziness she has a fucking moment of clarity. Although, L.A. does have In-N-Out and Claim Jumper, so all is not lost.

Below are the caps from Blohan's alleged leaked Twitter. And if you want to see a cap of her leaky twatter, (NSFL) click here.

Bitches hoping to be on top ended up on the bottom after they were almost trampled to fucking death outside of a casting call in NYC yesterday for the next season of America's Next Top Model. This is the season that Ty Ty is only looking for chicks who are 5'7" and under. They should just stop the casting now. La Pequena has this shit boxed and wrapped!

The New York Daily News reports that the drama started at the break of dawn when girls who had slept in the line overnight found that other whores were trying to cut in on their shit. It got worse when girls found out that if they stepped out of the line they would not be able to get back in. This caused some chicks to piss in cups. Guess this will teach them not to leave home without their GO GIRL!

As hours went by, thousands of people were compressed into each other. The cops arrived to place barricades along the street, but by that time, bitches were straight-up blacking out from not being able to breathe. Again, GO GIRL can also double as an oxygen funnel.

The panic really started when two douchebags, who were fighting for hours, started brawling for real. After the cops broke that shit up, one of the dudes said he was going to come back with a gun. How fucking charming. What a way to spend your Saturday afternoon: suffocating, pissing on yourself and worrying about a loon with a gun. Not only did these little whores need a GO GIRL, but they also needed one of those bullet-proof wigs!

If that wasn't enough, moments later, a BMW with smoke pouring out of it pulled up to the street which caused some dumb whore to yell "BOMB!!!!" That's when the barricade dropped and everyone started running for their lives! That's some Les Miserdumbfuck shit!

After all was said and DUMB, several bitches were treated at the scene, two were taken to the hospital, three were arrested for starting a riot and the casting call was immediately shut down.

Meanwhile, Ty Ty was probably jizzing with her eyes because not only did her greatness (in her head) cause a riot, but she also had the topic for her next talk show!

Here is more proof that Anne Heche's brain is living on another planet. The planet of ABSOLUTELYFUCKINGNUTS. Over the weekend, Celestia and the dude she cheated on her husband with, James Tupper, brought a baby boy into this world. The real world. According to UsWeekly, they already hate him because the name they wrote on his birth certificate was: Atlas Heche Tupper.

Atlas has a half-brother named Homer. Atlas and Homer. Just because those names belong in books doesn't mean it makes Anne Heche look smarter. It makes her look crazier. Poor Atlas. If you say it really fast, it sounds like assless. That's not right.

Just for shits, I googled Atlas Heche Tupper. The first page of images had a picture of Anne's nutso face, the sax-playing walrus, a pierced ho putting a spear through his tongue and the rest of the pictures were of dogs. That tells you everything. If you google your baby's name and the page is mostly filled with pictures of furry animals, that means it's a damn pet name! It's not a baby name.

Whoever is holding Anne's string, please let it go and allow her to float back into space.

The future mean bitches of the playground are thanking M.I.A. and her fiance Benjamin Brewer for hand delivering them ammunition they can use to tease the fuck out of their poor child. Latina.com says M.I.A. already hates her month-old baby, because she has named him Ickitt. As in Ick. As in Icky. As in WTFett.

The name describes itself. Actually, I shouldn't say that. Ickitt could turn ick into gold by giving himself an awesome nickname like Lickett. Or Stickitt. Or Kickitt. Or Dickitt. And now the schoolyard ho bags are thanking me for basically doing their job.

This magical fairy right here! When I finally eat the death dick, look up Nicole Marie-Loretta Leonard in the directory of crazy, because this enchanting pixie needs to bring her brilliance to my funeral!

The 25-year-old pranced into the funeral of a man she didn't even know in Laurens County, SC. Nicole took center stage in front of the service and proceeded to dance around while waving a magical wand over the casket. Tinkercrazy then opened the casket, touched the dead man and threw flowers at the audience. After her grand dance of the insane, Nicole fluttered away and flew off in a burgundy Toyota.

You know the audience gave her a standing ovation. There wasn't a dry eye in the house. Even the dead man came back to life, clapped and then died again.

The cops pulled her over on a nearby highway and she admitted to everything she did back at the church. Nicole said she didn't know anyone at the funeral, but "felt it was the right thing to do at the time."

Tinkercrazy was charged with disorderly conduct and disrupting a funeral.

Seriously, even crazy ass OctoMommy wants to hug Tinkercrazy with a straitjacket and calmly tell her to stop listening to the Peter Pan voice inside her head. Whatever kind of kitchen-made bad shit she's on, she needs to keep taking it.

By crashing one funeral at a time, Nicole Marie-Loretta Leonard is making the world a magical place.

Source

(Thanks Vinyl Villager)

This shit basically speaks for itself. There are no words..... I am Spaghetti Cat speechless. But before I go and cuddle up to a plate of chicken cutlets, let me officially declare Phoebe Price as "Hot Babe of the Millennium!"