SCANDAL

Today was day one of Christie Brinkley's divorce trial and shit got really juicy when her estranged husband, Peter Cook, took the stand. Peter started bawling when he was questioned by Christie's lawyer. Here's some scandalous shit he admitted to doing while being married:

He did sexy sexy times with his teenage mistress, Diana Bianchi, in his own office

He paid her $300,000 to keep their nasty business on the down low

He admitted to spending $3,000 a month on internet porn

He confessed to getting nekkid and groping his wang bone in front of a web cam

He posted pictures of himself on swingers websites looking for chicks to screw

After Peter admitted all of this, his stupid fuck lawyer told the court, "For goodness sake: She's on her fourth husband. Your honor, we're here because of the self-indulgent wrath of a woman scorned." Lawyer dude better sleep with one-eye open, because divorced broads everywhere are going to hunt him down.

He also blasted Christie for wanting the trial to be made public, "What kind of a mother wants her husband flogged in public?" I'm sure Peter wouldn't mind being "flogged" in public.

Christie's lawyer told the court she paid for everything while they were married. They aren't fighting over cash though. They are fighting over custody of their daughter Sailor and their son Jack. Jack is Christie's son from Richard Taubman, but Peter adopted him.

Are they selling tickets to this show? It sounds like the only thing missing is a half-time performance. May I suggest Billy Joel?

And what the hell kind of GD internet porn costs $3,000 a month?! It's probably some nasty scat shit involving midgets, circus animals and oversized vegetables. No thank you. Shit, I'm always shocked when I see $29.95 on my credit card bill every month (don't judge, we all like internet porn).

Also, I wonder what Peter's peter is like? I'm guessing it's like a skinny ass mushroom. Nothing special.

Source

This is a picture of HoHan's supposed secret half-sister. InTouch has the first pictures of 13-year-old Ashley Kaufman and her mother, Kristi Kaufman. Kristi claims she did grossy grossy times with Michael Lohan and produced lil' Ashley.

Michael at first admitted it, but now he's denying it. He recently submitted his DNA for a paternity test. He said that if Ashley is his, he will accept responsibility. If she's not his, he plans to sue Kristi for defamation. Um...he should sue himself too, because he's already defamed himself plenty of times.

Michael told the NYDN last week, "I've seen pictures and, to tell the truth, there are similarities with Linds."

Hmmm....she doesn't have greasy orange skin, a cokey nose or a permanent poo stain on her upper lip. And she actually looks a normal 13-year-old and not a 35-year-old hooka! Nope, definitely not a Lohan! That being said, she'll still get her own reality show and record deal.

Just when I'm beginning to think that all the HoHan drama is dying down, Michael Lohan has to open his big mouth and start yapping. Michael told OK! Magazine that HoHan has a secret sister. In case you didn't know, this is how the Lohans communicate with each other. They blab to the press.

Michael confessed to doing sexy times with some other bitch while he was separated from White Oprah. The bitch he was fucking contacted him years later and said she had his child.

The bitch told OK! that Michael has talked to his secret daughter several times and even called her on her 13th birthday this month. Michael has never visited his secret daughter and has never given her any of HoHan's hard-earned cash. Well, he doesn't have any dough. Secret daughter's mommy said, "It's time for Michael to take responsibility."

In my lesbian soap opera fantasies, HoHan's secret sister would be revealed as none other than...SAMRO! No, she doesn't have the Lohan's trademark orange skin. Yes, she's like ten years older than HoHan, but let a homo dream!

And expect a 30-page statement from White Oprah in 5....4...3...

I don't watch "The Two Coreys" because my weekly douche intake is already at its maximum level, but several of you whores wrote me on what went down on last night's season premiere. Well, during last night's episode, Corey Haim admitted to being raped at the age of 14. Corey Feldman also confessed he was child touched around that age. They didn't say by whom, but it was one of Corey Feldman's close friends. Escandalo!

I'm guessing the accused child toucher's name rhymes with HACKO?

VIA ONTD

Thanks Valerie

Bill Clinton had a fucking good time with Gina Gershon claims Vanity Fair. According to an article written by Todd Purdum, hubby to Dee Dee Meyers, Billy had affairs with several chicks including Gina. Billy cheating on Hills is nothing new and not shocking. However, Billy knocking it with Cristal Conners is pretty hot.

Todd writes that, "Clinton has been seen visiting with the actress Gina Gershon in California. There has been talk of a female friend in Chappaqua, a woman in a bar at a meeting of the Aspen Institute, and a public sighting of Clinton, Bing, and a ravishing entourage in a New York elevator that, a former Clinton aide told me, led a business leader who saw them to say: I don’t know what the guy was doing, but it was so clear that it was just no good."

Billy responded by calling Todd "sleazy" and "slimy." Takes one to know one! Gina Gershon's rep told E! News, "Todd Purdum's insinuation is a lie and is irresponsible journalism. We are demanding a retraction."

Can you blame Bill? Gina is fucking hot. Shit, I would do her! Although, I'd much rather just sit in a room with her and have her say, "You are a whore, darlin'. We all are. We take the cash, we cash the check, we show them what they want to see" over and over again.

One of 50 Cent's homes in Dix Hills, New York went up in flames early this morning and was completely destroyed. It's not right, but now I've got "Burning Down the House" in my head and it won't get out. 50's 10-year-old son, Marquise, and his ex-girlfriend, Shaniqua Tompkins were sent to the hospital for smoke inhalation along with 4 other people. They were treated and released.

The Fire Department Chief doesn't think the fire was accident. I bet the chief has a bushy moustache. They all do. He said that arson investigators were called in and there are currently no suspects.

The house has a dramatic history. Last month, 50 tried to throw out Shaniqua and his son from the home. He told her ass to pay him $4,500 in rent or she had to get the fuck out. Shaniqua filed a lawsuit claiming 50 promised to put the $1.4 million house in her name.

TMZ has a video of Shaniqua and 50 screaming at each other on the streets of Manhattan yesterday. I've been to the Baskin Robbins' they are fighting in front of! They should have gone in and shared a cup of Jamoca Almond Fudge.

The fight occurred shortly after the two were being deposed at Shaniqua's lawyer offices. During the depo, one of 50's friends went crazy and started trashing the lawyer's offices. A police report was filed.

50's spokesbitch issued this statement to TMZ: "Informed this morning while filming a new motion picture on location in Louisiana, Curtis Jackson expressed deep concern over this fire at his property. He is extremely thankful that everyone including his son, Marquise, escaped the burning house safely. He is confident that authorities will be conducting a thorough investigation of the incident and is eager to review their findings."

Damn....this shit is going to get interesting. I think it's also time to put the batteries back into my smoke detector.

Image: Splashnewsonline.com

Messy divorce alert! Bill Murray's wife of more than 10 years, Jennifer Butler Murray, claims he beat her, cheated on her and abandoned her. She also accused him of being addicted to sex, weed and booze. Jennifer cites the accusations as reason for divorce in court papers filed on May 12th in Charleston, South Carolina.

Charleston Post & Courier reports that Jen has asked the court for a restraining order to keep Bill away from her ass. She also wants the court to examine their pre-nup order. According to the pre-nup, Jen will get $7 million if they divorce.

The two were married in 1997 and they have 4 kids together. Jen moved into a Sullivan's Island home in 2006 to escape Bill's constant alleged abuse. In the report, Jen states that in November 2007 Bill "hit his wife in the face and then told her she was 'lucky he didn't kill her.' "

You think you know someone....from watching them "Groundhog Day." This shit is going to get dirty. Filthy. This is a job for Judge Mablean. Too bad her hot ass got fired from Divorce Court!

Barbara Walters had an affair with a married Senator in the 70s. That common skank! Barbara opened up to Oprah in an episode that airs this Tuesday about her relationship with Senator Edward Brooke, the first black person to be elected to the Senate by popular vote.

Babs said the affair went on for several years. She said they both knew that it would ruin their careers if the public found out. Babs said she didn't know if she was in love with him at the time, but she knows she was "infatuated" with him. She went on to tell O, "He was exciting. He was brilliant. It was exciting times in Washington."

The affair ended in 1978. Edward Brooke later divorced his wife, but never remarried. The Associated Press tried to contact him for comment, but their calls were not returned.

Wouldn't that have been sooo hot if Babs told Oprah, "Oprah, we had a secret love child too. A daughter. We named her Opra-" Oh wait, this was the 70s? Oprah's too old then. FUCK! There goes my scandal.

Babs is a slut and I've always known it! You know, I need proof of this or it didn't happen. Show us a sex tape, Babs! Oh shit. What did I just say?

What the hell is going on at Rob Lowe's house? It's a house of sluts and sin! A second former nanny has filed a lawsuit accusing Rob's wife, Sheryl Lowe, claiming sexual harassment.

Laura Boyce worked for the Lowes for 7 months last year. She claims Sheryl walked around naked, asked how big her boyfriend's dick was and talked about her sex life. Laura also claims Sheryl used the "n" word to describe who boyfriend, who was an NBA player. Laura also said Sheryl once told her over the phone to not "got strep throat from sucking ni***r dick. I mean black dick." AND...if that isn't enough, Laura said Sheryl would take about her children's penises too.

Sheryl still looks like Gwyneth Paltrow in a fat suit to me, so this is all very strange. I picture Fishsticks saying all of this nastiness.

Earlier this month, the Lowes filed lawsuits against Laura and two other former employees for allegedly trying to extort $1.5 million from them.

The Lowes' lawyer issued a statement to People Magazine saying that Gloria Allred (Laura's attorney) wants to drag Sheryl and the children into this mess to try and strengthen their already shitty case.. "Although framed as a sexual harassment claim against both Sheryl and Rob Lowe, the cross-complaint alleges only words by Sheryl and never mentions any words or conduct by Rob whatsoever. The alleged statements by Sheryl are totally unrelated to, and do not provide any support for, Gibson's claims against Rob."

The God Warrior needs to get into the Lowes home and rid that joint of dark-sidedness and unholiness. Everything's ungodly in the Lowes household!

And where is the video or audio proof?! It wouldn't have been hard for Laura to record Gwyneth Paltrow in a fat suit saying this shit! Something in the milk ain't clean.

Brazilian footballer Ronaldo was questioned by the fuzz after an argument with three tranny hookers he met in Rio de Janeiro on Sunday night. The AC Milan star met three call girls at a nightclub. He told police he knew they were hookers, but didn't know they were dudes. He took the three trannies to a motel where he discovered the truth. He offered them around $600 each to leave. Two of the trannies accepted, but the other tranny, Andre Luis Ribeiro Albertino (above), demanded $30,000 or else.

Andre, who likes to be called Andrea, claims Ronaldo took drugs. She also has a receipt from Ronaldo's purchase of the three hos. Receipt?! Is that shit tax-deductible? For the record, prostitution is illegal in Brazil. Andrea posted a shitty video on YouTube featuring Ronaldo. She also posed with his car documents in the picture above.

The Sun reports that Ronaldo went to the cops after Andrea blackmailed his ass. Ronaldo denies Andrea's claim that he took drugs. The police chief said, "Ronaldo's testimony is more reliable. From zero to 10, I give his testimony a nine. He was very excited and wanted to go out and have fun, without the press knowing. Ronaldo said he is not good in the head and that he is going through psychological problems because of his recent surgery. But he committed no crime at all, it was immoral at best."

Even Stevie Wonder can tell you that hooker has a dick. She looks more like a dude than Ronaldo does! I hope there's more to this story, because I love a juicy tranny hooker scandal!

Below is the shitty clip of Ronaldo and Andrea telling his story: