Music

Monday, November 24th 2008

They Obviously Want A Free Bottle Of Dr. Pepper

I was in line at Best Buy yesterday waiting to pay for some dumb crap and I was browsing the new CDs they try to sell your ass before you get to the register. I noticed the new Guns N' Roses album, so I picked it up and said out loud, "I heard this was a piece of trash." The dude in front of me was holding the CD and gave me a look that made my toe nails fall off. It was a "I want to butt fuck you with a hot hammer" kind of look. I'm not fucking sorry that I hurt his feelings, because he had a long ass, curly ponytail with blonde highlights in it. I'm sorry, but you deserve to get your feelings hurt if you have one of those.

Anyway, that shit came out yesterday after 15-years in the making and China is not happy about it! One of the newspapers published by the Communist Party said the album is an attack on their nation. From what I've heard it's also an attack on ear drums. The article says that "unidentified Chinese Internet users had described the album as part of a plot by some in the West to grasp and control the world using democracy as a pawn." The article also said that the record "turns its spear point on China."

Obviously, they want a free bottle of Dr. Pepper. That shit will make them happy. A bottle of Dr. Pepper with a little bottle of Everclear. That shit is good.

And if you haven't registered for your free coupon to get a 20 oz. bottle of Dr. Pepper yet, you can do so until 6pm today here. And yes, I still bought the album even though I slagged it off! Well, I wanted my free shit of Dr. P!

Posted by: Michael K


Sunday, February 17th 2008

Save The Carpenters' Home!

Karen and Richard Carpenters' former home in Downey, CA is in danger of getting the chop. The home is where the two wrote a lot of their songs and it was the cover of their album "Now & Then." It was also where Karen collapsed in 1983 before passing away.

The home's current owners, Manuel and Blanca Melendez Parra, want to bulldoze the house down and build a new one, because they are sick of being bothered by Carpenters' fans. The Parra family said that when they first bought the house they allowed the fans in, but it became too much. "In the beginning, we let everybody in. But honestly, it became horrible, not only for us but for the neighborhood. People peek in windows and take pictures. They leave flowers on the front porch." Free flowers? Where's the problem?

Carpenters' fans are protesting the demolition and have asked the city of Downey to make the home a historical landmark. One fan said, "This house is our version of Graceland. When they photographed the 'Now & Then' cover here in 1973, the house was instantly immortalized."

We've only just begun, Blanca! All these fans needs to do is ask Blanca to give them the house and they can move it somewhere else and turn it into a museum or something. This sounds like a job for Ty Pennington and Extreme Home Makeover.

Source

Posted by: Michael K


Thursday, December 13th 2007

Madonna In, Donna Summer Out

 
Madonna will be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame next year. John Mellencamp, Leonard Cohen, The Ventures and The Dave Clark Five will also be inducted. Madonna's first single "Everybody" was released 25 years ago. The ceremony will be held in March in NYC.
 
Donna Summer, Chic, Afrika Bambaataa and the Beastie Boys were nominated, but didn't make the cut. 
 
Okay, Madonna deserved it. She can't really sing, she's not the greatest dancer, she isn't a great lyricist and yet she's still managed to put together a pretty great music career and sell a shit load of albums. Give her the trophy! 
 
Donna Summer was robbed! The Dave Clark who?! 
 
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


Wednesday, December 12th 2007

Janet Jackson Has A New Song

Janet Jackson has a new song called "Feedback" out. It's on her next album which comes out in February. It was alright until bitch started talking about her period. Seriousy bitch says "I'm heavy like a first day period" and then goes on to say "sexy sexy sexy" over and over again. There's nothing sexy about a first day period unless you want to get your red wings and if that's the case, you are nasty as hell. Tell your mama to slap your face for me.

And does anybody actually sing anymore? I mean it sounded like Apple Computers did the vocals on that.


Click here or here to listen to it if you're having trouble with the video

Thanks Michael & Brian (for pointing out that period shit)

Posted by: Michael K


Tuesday, November 20th 2007

All For Caroline

 
Neil Diamond confessed to the Associated Press that the inspiration for "Sweet Caroline" was Caroline Kennedy.
 
He said he was a young, broke musician when a photo of young Caroline struck his eyes. Ewww, pedo! I'm joking.
 
Neil said, "It was a No. 1 record and probably is the biggest, most important song of my career, and I have to thank her for the inspiration. I'm happy to have gotten it off my chest and to have expressed it to Caroline. I thought she might be embarrassed, but she seemed to be struck by it and really, really happy."
 
Thank you Caroline Kennedy for uniting drunken Bostonians for years!
 
Sweeeeeet Caroline! Good times...shit now I'm going to have that crap stuck in my head all day and night.  
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


Wednesday, November 14th 2007

Jay-Z Is Triumphant! Brit Falls....

 
Jay-Z's album "American Ganster" sold 425,000 last week debuting him at  #1. Unfortunately, Brit didn't have such a good week. "Blackout" fell from #2 to #7 with only 87,000 copies. She slipped 70%. Eeek!
 
Jay-Z now ties with Elvis for second place for the most #1 albums. The Beatles hold the top spot with 19 albums.
 
The Eagles fell from #1 to #2. Here's how the chart looked:
 
Who needs a hit album when you have a new body? Right, Brit. I'm still surprised it's sold 1 copy!
 
Source: Billboard
 
Thanks Clint
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


Wednesday, September 19th 2007

Damn Kenny!

 
I was hoping Kenny Chesney's fruity ass would pull a fast one can come out on top on the sales charts to shut Kanye and 50 up. This didn't happen. According to the Associated Press Kaney West won the chart battle against 50. Here's the rankings:
 
Kanye - 957,000
50 Cent - 691,000
Kenny Chesney - 364,000
 
Kanye said, "It feels overwhelming. Everyone is coming up to me and telling me how proud they are of me."
 
50 made no mention of his promise to retire when he issued this statement, "I am very excited to have participated in one of the biggest album release weeks in the last two years. Collectively, we have sold hundreds of thousands of units in our debut week. This marks a great moment for hip-hop music, one that will go down in history."
 
He's probably hoping we all forget about it. Poor 50. Time to feel your Tivo queue up. If you make good on your promise, you're going to have a lot of time on your hands. I can send you a recommendation list.
 
Damn Kenny! Next time suck more dick to get your sales up!
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


Tuesday, September 18th 2007

Pulling Out

 
50 Cent and his luscious titties have pulled out of several dates on his European Promo tour. Many are speculating that he did so, because Kanye West has beaten him in the UK charts. 50 was supposed to play the Mobos this Wednesday and MTV in Germany on Friday.
 
His spokeswhore issued this statement, "50 Cent is very sad to confirm that due to a last-minute, unforeseen and unanticipated change in his schedule, he will have to postpone his European promotion trip from September 18-25."
 
Yeah, more like he's busy getting ass fucked by Kanye.
 
It also looks like Kanye will beat 50's ass in the US charts as well. 50 vowed that he would retire from performing music if Kanye beat him.
 
Screw both of them. I was actually rooting for that ultra-gay Kenny Chesney to take the #1 spot in the US to shut both of them up.  
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


Friday, September 14th 2007

Prince Is A Fun Killer

 
49-year-old (DAMN! That old?!) Prince is planning to sue eBay, YouTube and The Pirate Bay for using his "art" without permission.
 
He issued this statement:
 
"YouTube ... are clearly able (to) filter porn and pedophile material but appear to choose not to filter out the unauthorized music and film content which is core to their business success."
 
YouTube responded by saying they are committed to enforcing copyright.
 
Prince thinks that musicians and artists need to "reclaim their art."
 
Bitch hasn't made "art" in at least a decade. Even if he gets his shit pulled off YouTube and those other sites I'm still not going to listen to it. If you ask me it helps to promote his ass to people that would probably have never heard his new music. Greedy ass troll. Evil elf!
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


Thursday, September 13th 2007

Ashlee Simpson Needs To Give It Up

 
Asshole Simpson needs to give up music for good. Yesterday, the single off her third album was released. The song is fittingly enough called "Murder" because it basically murders your eardrums.  
 
Ass sounds like she has a dick in her mouth through the whole damn song. She's also trying to sound all International and she's about as International as IHOP.
 
This song makes anything by Britney Spears sound like music from the angels. 
 
CLICK HERE to listen to it
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


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