Peter Andre

I apologize for this close-up, but I had to show you how naturally pretty skanks completely bust up their faces by asking their make-up artist for "The Xtina." Katie Price looks like she was gang banged by a make-up counter. This shit is only okay for tranny clowns and drag queens from the 80s.

Katie, her 200lbs of make-up and her big gay husband had reason to celebrate today. A court in London awarded them an undisclosed amount of cash and a public apology from The News of the World. The tabloid published a story from their ex-nanny, Becky Gauld. The story labeled the two drag queens as bad parents.

Katie told reporters outside of court, "Pete and I love our kids and would do anything for them. We came here today to see that justice was done and that our names were cleared. Now that the paper has accepted the story wasn't true, apologised to us, and paid us damages and our costs, we believe the record has been set straight and our names have been cleared." How the hell can she open her mouth and speak those words with all that shit on her face!? I'm impressed.

They said half of the money would go to charity and the other half would go into a trust fund for their three kids. I'm guessing the charity is "The Pasty White People In Need Of A Fake Tan Foundation."

Katie Price (the whorebag formerly known as Jordan) and Peter Andre's CD of love songs has gone to the birds! The Sun found 40,000 copies of the CD covered in bird shit.

This is what these two homos deserves! They ruined some of our beloved classics! I mean, they covered "Don't Go Breaking My Heart," "I've Had The Time Of My Life" and "Islands in the Stream." That is a gay crime!

The bitch that found this shit said, "I thought I’d stumbled on a stash of Coldplay’s new album ready for sending out, so I was gutted when I saw it was some rubbish Jordan and Peter Andre tried to get in the charts. Many of the CDs were covered in bird crap and had gone mouldy."

Those birds should really get jobs as critics for Billboard. They know their shit!

Below is Katie and Peter singing "A Whole New World" live. Katie seriously has the voice of an angel......slowly being strangled.

Peter Andre said that he desperately wants to adopt his stepson, Harvey Price. Harvey's bio-father, Dwight Yorke, has hardly been around and I'm sure Harvey is over that bitch. Peter has helped Katie Price raise little Harvey for the past few years.

He told The Sun, "I'd love to adopt Harvey. If I was allowed, I would love to. It's a big process and not that easy. It's something I would definitely love to achieve in the next couple of years. He IS my son - he's mine."

Guess what Petey? You're not allowed. I already have dibs. My name is at the top of the waiting list. Seriously, Harvey should ditch both those loons and move to Hollywood! The movie industry is in dire need of a leading man like Harvey.

And what does Harvey have to say about Peter wanting to adopt him? Harvey responded with, "FUCK OFF!" I totally overuse that clip, but I can't help it. I'm fucking obsessed with hit.

This is exactly why Harvey Price is my favorite person on this planet. Don't tell me this was an accident either. Harvey meant to flip off the camera because he doesn't appreciate Jordan whoring him out like this without paying up!

Harvey and Latarian Milton need to team up and do "hoodrat stuff" together. The world would never be the same if these bad asses joined forces.

Visit Celebrity Baby Scoop to see more pictures of Harvey and his family in OK! Magazine.

And just because, below is a touching video of Harvey showing his love for Peter Andre. I've posted this shit before, but it's a classic.

Thanks Missy

Peter Andre was named "Daddy of the Year" by Daddies Sauce today in London. Something tells me that Peter's own "daddy sauce" is a lot like Charlie Sheen's prostitute tranny-infested sperm. They should go into business together.

This is definitely the outfit you wear to go and buy some Huggies at CVS. How I wish Katie Price would have worn this outfit while strolling down Sunset Blvd. Prostitutes would have beat the orange off of her for trying to work their track. Has Katie met Brit Brit yet since she's been in Los Angeles? Something tells me they would be BFFs. They both like to wear inappropriate outfits to the drugstore.

Below are also some pics of Katie's big gay husband going jogging yesterday. I take that back. No self-respecting gay would look like that mess.

Katie Price and Peter Andre should not have been allowed into this country without Harvey in tow. That should be illegal. It's not right.

Anyway, these two terra cotta pots landed at LAX last night with Junior and Princess Tiaamii. I don't know if it was Katie and Peter's intention, but every time I read that poor child's name, I can only think of some Disney princess singing about birds and shit. That girl has to grow up to be a Disney princess or I just don't know.

While the whole family is in America, Harvey better be raising hell in the Andre mansion. He must take revenge for being left in England. Harvey is the one that should be trying to conquer America, not their orange asses!

That picture is ridiculous. It's like 4 tangerines sitting in a plastic bowl. Katie Price (I'm not calling her Jordan anymore, because Jordan is DEAD), Peter Andre and some friends had dinner last night in London to celebrate Peter's 35th Birthday. I feel sorry for the poor sap that had to clean up their mess at the dinner table. The tablecloth, forks, knives and napkins were probably covered in orange slime. These people are like skanky snails! They leave their fake tan jizz everywhere.

Where the hell do you buy an outfit like that? I don't even think Frederick's of Hollywood would carry tacky shit like that. She probably pulled a Britney (see below) and brought in her Bratz doll to a dressmaker and asked them to duplicate this look.

Peter Andre has spoken out on Jordan getting her boobs reduced. Peter misses them, sort of. He told Loaded Magazine, "I used to think just a little more than a handful was plenty enough and I was simply into legs and bums, but Katie and her amazing boobs changed my mind, big time. Once I had those babies in front of my eyes I was a changed man. I often get asked what Katie's breasts feel like and I can tell you that they feel amazing. And very, very real. And very heavy."

Legs, bums and dicks! He forgot the dick part. Peter went on to say that he's glad she had them reduced, " I secretly thought they might have been too big for her body at one point. To be honest, she wasn't even my type. I don't mean she wasn't pretty, but those fake breasts and blonde hair wasn't what I'd normally go for. However, a few nights alone with her and I soon knew what all the fuss was about."

He secretly wants boobs like that. He caresses them thinking how lovely it would be to have two huge ones like that, feeling a big dick go in and out between them. While we're on the subject, what chicks actually love titty fucking? In porn movies, I never understand when a chick is fake moaning from a penis rubbing between her breasts. That looks like it hurts. Like a rug burn. Dick burn!

VIA The Sun

This snatch is starting to look like a different person. It's obvious Jordan had her schnoze done, but now her cheeks are starting to look like she stuffed some chicken parm in there. Maybe she removed her tit implants and stuck them in her face. She's not even 30, so I can't wait where her future plastic surgery adventures will take her. She's going to look like Joan Rivers by the time she's 30. Maybe if she laid off the plastic surgery and paid attention to her husband, she'd realize he's a total fruitcake! Clam diggers?

Here's Jordan, Peter Andre and Princess Tia at an airport in Australia yesterday.

Mr. Paparazzi