Peter Andre

What The Hell Kind Of GD Outfit Is This?

This is definitely the outfit you wear to go and buy some Huggies at CVS. How I wish Katie Price would have worn this outfit while strolling down Sunset Blvd. Prostitutes would have beat the orange off of her for trying to work their track. Has Katie met Brit Brit yet since she's been in Los Angeles? Something tells me they would be BFFs. They both like to wear inappropriate outfits to the drugstore.

Below are also some pics of Katie's big gay husband going jogging yesterday. I take that back. No self-respecting gay would look like that mess.



No Harvey In Sight

Katie Price and Peter Andre should not have been allowed into this country without Harvey in tow. That should be illegal. It's not right.

Anyway, these two terra cotta pots landed at LAX last night with Junior and Princess Tiaamii. I don't know if it was Katie and Peter's intention, but every time I read that poor child's name, I can only think of some Disney princess singing about birds and shit. That girl has to grow up to be a Disney princess or I just don't know.

While the whole family is in America, Harvey better be raising hell in the Andre mansion. He must take revenge for being left in England. Harvey is the one that should be trying to conquer America, not their orange asses!

Wenn, Splashnewsonline.com



It's Not Right When Peter Andre Is The Only Normal Looking Person In The Photo

That picture is ridiculous. It's like 4 tangerines sitting in a plastic bowl. Katie Price (I'm not calling her Jordan anymore, because Jordan is DEAD), Peter Andre and some friends had dinner last night in London to celebrate Peter's 35th Birthday. I feel sorry for the poor sap that had to clean up their mess at the dinner table. The tablecloth, forks, knives and napkins were probably covered in orange slime. These people are like skanky snails! They leave their fake tan jizz everywhere.

Where the hell do you buy an outfit like that? I don't even think Frederick's of Hollywood would carry tacky shit like that. She probably pulled a Britney (see below) and brought in her Bratz doll to a dressmaker and asked them to duplicate this look.

Wenn



Peter Andre Reminisces On Jordan's Big Boobies

Peter Andre has spoken out on Jordan getting her boobs reduced. Peter misses them, sort of. He told Loaded Magazine, "I used to think just a little more than a handful was plenty enough and I was simply into legs and bums, but Katie and her amazing boobs changed my mind, big time. Once I had those babies in front of my eyes I was a changed man. I often get asked what Katie's breasts feel like and I can tell you that they feel amazing. And very, very real. And very heavy."

Legs, bums and dicks! He forgot the dick part. Peter went on to say that he's glad she had them reduced, " I secretly thought they might have been too big for her body at one point. To be honest, she wasn't even my type. I don't mean she wasn't pretty, but those fake breasts and blonde hair wasn't what I'd normally go for. However, a few nights alone with her and I soon knew what all the fuss was about."

He secretly wants boobs like that. He caresses them thinking how lovely it would be to have two huge ones like that, feeling a big dick go in and out between them. While we're on the subject, what chicks actually love titty fucking? In porn movies, I never understand when a chick is fake moaning from a penis rubbing between her breasts. That looks like it hurts. Like a rug burn. Dick burn!

VIA The Sun



A Whole New Face

This snatch is starting to look like a different person. It's obvious Jordan had her schnoze done, but now her cheeks are starting to look like she stuffed some chicken parm in there. Maybe she removed her tit implants and stuck them in her face. She's not even 30, so I can't wait where her future plastic surgery adventures will take her. She's going to look like Joan Rivers by the time she's 30. Maybe if she laid off the plastic surgery and paid attention to her husband, she'd realize he's a total fruitcake! Clam diggers?

Here's Jordan, Peter Andre and Princess Tia at an airport in Australia yesterday.

Mr. Paparazzi



Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

 
She's a blonde! Finally, Peter Andre gets to have a little fun. Jordan and Peter switched hair colors. Petey showed off his hideous new hair color as the two left a medical center in Los Angeles yesterday. Did he also bleach his beard? No, not Jordan...the beard on his face.
 
All he needs is some fake tits and he'll look just like her.  
 
 
Images: Mr. Paparazzi
 
 


This Isn't Helping The Gay Rumors

 
Peter Andre confessed that he had a crush on Boy George when he was younger. Pete said when he first laid eyes on Boy in the 80s, he thought he was the hottest thing. He claims he thought Boy was a woman. Suureeee.
 
He said, “She is hot. I thought I was going to marry this woman.”  
 
Well, he basically married a woman like Boy George. Remove Jordan's fake hair and breasts and you've got yourself another Boy George.
 
If I was Peter I would've kept that little fact to myself. He's most likely going to find himself chained to Boy George's radiator now.
 
Source: The Sun
 
 


Sister Skank Ho

 
Jordan said that she likes to dress up for Peter Andre in order to spice up their sex life. More like he likes to dress up in her lingerie.
 
She said, "Our favourite thing at the moment is dressing up. I've been wearing a nun's outfit, which really turns him on. Maybe he likes it as I look all pure and virginal."
 
Jordan, pure and virginal? You could dunk her in holy water, perform an exorcism on her and give her vagina cherry back and she'd still be a sinful slut! That's ok. That's how I like my Jordan.
 
And please! She dresses up as a priest and he dresses up as an altar boy. She needs to keep it real.
 
Source
 


She Has A Point

 
It's that time again! Jordan loves to talk about how much Posh Beckham bothers her ass. So far she's said that Posh isn't that attractive and that Posh doesn't really do anything. This time she's the whore calling the kettle black.
 
She said, "I do feel sorry for her in a way, but she craves attention. If she looks rough she shouldn’t go out like it should she?"
 
You have a point Jordan. People shouldn't go outside if they are looking a little rough around the edges. Therefore you should always stay inside! Lock the door and throw away the key!  
 
Source
 
 


That She Is!

 
Jordan already told us her sex life was like the horror movie "Hostel" and that Peter Andre's dick is the size of a cable remote control, so now it's his turn to discuss the barf details of their love life.  
 
Peter said, "Katie is a filthy bitch and I'm her temptation. Everybody has fantasies and when it comes to sexual ones, when you close your bedroom door and it's just you and your partner, anything goes."
 
"If we're sat downstairs with the kids and the nanny, Kate tells me off if I discreetly suggest we sneak off upstairs. She'll say, 'Pete, you make it so obvious you want to go upstairs for a shag.' And I get really embarrassed. I'm like, 'Thanks honey!' So that blows that out."  
 
Peter needs to get his own nickname for her! I already have dibs on that one. Actually, I call her "filthy cunt" so he can have that one. 
 
I'm sure Peter's "sexual fantasy" involves an International Male catalog, a double-sided dildo, a cop's uniform and a Judy Garland soundtrack. I'm sure Jordan and Peter do ass-to-ass while singing along to "I'm Always Chasing Rainbows." 
 
Source: The Sun
 
 


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