Peter Andre

This is definitely the outfit you wear to go and buy some Huggies at CVS. How I wish Katie Price would have worn this outfit while strolling down Sunset Blvd. Prostitutes would have beat the orange off of her for trying to work their track. Has Katie met Brit Brit yet since she's been in Los Angeles? Something tells me they would be BFFs. They both like to wear inappropriate outfits to the drugstore.

Below are also some pics of Katie's big gay husband going jogging yesterday. I take that back. No self-respecting gay would look like that mess.

Katie Price and Peter Andre should not have been allowed into this country without Harvey in tow. That should be illegal. It's not right.

Anyway, these two terra cotta pots landed at LAX last night with Junior and Princess Tiaamii. I don't know if it was Katie and Peter's intention, but every time I read that poor child's name, I can only think of some Disney princess singing about birds and shit. That girl has to grow up to be a Disney princess or I just don't know.

While the whole family is in America, Harvey better be raising hell in the Andre mansion. He must take revenge for being left in England. Harvey is the one that should be trying to conquer America, not their orange asses!

That picture is ridiculous. It's like 4 tangerines sitting in a plastic bowl. Katie Price (I'm not calling her Jordan anymore, because Jordan is DEAD), Peter Andre and some friends had dinner last night in London to celebrate Peter's 35th Birthday. I feel sorry for the poor sap that had to clean up their mess at the dinner table. The tablecloth, forks, knives and napkins were probably covered in orange slime. These people are like skanky snails! They leave their fake tan jizz everywhere.

Where the hell do you buy an outfit like that? I don't even think Frederick's of Hollywood would carry tacky shit like that. She probably pulled a Britney (see below) and brought in her Bratz doll to a dressmaker and asked them to duplicate this look.

Peter Andre has spoken out on Jordan getting her boobs reduced. Peter misses them, sort of. He told Loaded Magazine, "I used to think just a little more than a handful was plenty enough and I was simply into legs and bums, but Katie and her amazing boobs changed my mind, big time. Once I had those babies in front of my eyes I was a changed man. I often get asked what Katie's breasts feel like and I can tell you that they feel amazing. And very, very real. And very heavy."

Legs, bums and dicks! He forgot the dick part. Peter went on to say that he's glad she had them reduced, " I secretly thought they might have been too big for her body at one point. To be honest, she wasn't even my type. I don't mean she wasn't pretty, but those fake breasts and blonde hair wasn't what I'd normally go for. However, a few nights alone with her and I soon knew what all the fuss was about."

He secretly wants boobs like that. He caresses them thinking how lovely it would be to have two huge ones like that, feeling a big dick go in and out between them. While we're on the subject, what chicks actually love titty fucking? In porn movies, I never understand when a chick is fake moaning from a penis rubbing between her breasts. That looks like it hurts. Like a rug burn. Dick burn!

VIA The Sun

This snatch is starting to look like a different person. It's obvious Jordan had her schnoze done, but now her cheeks are starting to look like she stuffed some chicken parm in there. Maybe she removed her tit implants and stuck them in her face. She's not even 30, so I can't wait where her future plastic surgery adventures will take her. She's going to look like Joan Rivers by the time she's 30. Maybe if she laid off the plastic surgery and paid attention to her husband, she'd realize he's a total fruitcake! Clam diggers?

Here's Jordan, Peter Andre and Princess Tia at an airport in Australia yesterday.

Mr. Paparazzi