Keanu Reeves

OK! Magazine thinks Keanu Reeves and Parker Posey might be a new couple. A source saw them "cozying up" to each other at the Chateau Marmont in L.A. The witness said, "They were sharing a seat and sitting very, very close. It was probably the oddest couple I've ever seen."

Sitting close and now they are a couple?! It's not like he was finger banging her, they were just sitting close. Imagine if you were romantically linked to everyone you sat close to? You would look like a major slut! Well, you look like a slut anyway, but you know....

I hope they are a couple, because I like these two together. They have the same hair, they are both batshit crazy and they look like they could use a bath or two. Perfect match!

My favorite dirty birdy story about Parker Posey is the one about her dog shitting in its carrier on a flight. Parker ran to the bathroom to wipe her dog's ass and almost got arrested, because dog's aren't allowed in the bathrooms. That pretty much sums her up.

Keanu Reeves hit some paparazzi dude with his 1996 Porsche in Ranchos Palos Verdes, CA last night. The photographer was trying to get shots of him when Keanu accidentially sideswiped his ass at around 7:30pm. The sheriff said that Keanu grazed him.

The sheriff went on to say, "The man fell to the ground. Paramedics were summoned and treated the man at the scene. He was then transported via ambulance to a local hospital for further treatment."

It is unknown how fast he was going.

LAWSUIT! You know the paparazzi dude probably cut himself open with a knife on his way down to the ground and is planning to sue Keanu big time. I can't defend Keanu anymore, because he's fighting the hotness and I'm not down with that.

Source

Keanu Reeves gave the paparazzi a special Christmas greeting outside a friend's home in Los Angeles. Hopefully he went inside that house and filled the tub with boiling hot water and then poursed some bleach up in there and soaked for a few hours. Let's hope he then took steel wool and some Ajax and scrubbed his skin for a couple of hours. He needs it. Ho looks beat. That being said, I'd hit it.

Source

Page Six is reporting that Keanu Reeves is back on the market! Yes, this could all be yours! If you ever had a homeless man fantasy, now is your chance!

A source spotted Keanu in Miami chatting up a cheesy blonde. "A hot blonde pulled up in a red Porsche turbo Cabriolet, and he started chatting her up. "Her cheesy license plate read 'NEW 007,' and Keanu got her number before heading inside to sit with his friends."

Whoever hits that will get a bad case of bed bugs I know it!