Matthew McConagay

Camilla Alves left the trailer the other day to pick up some groceries in Malibu. Matthew McConaughey's future baby mama showed a slight bump. Bump watch! Matthew stayed behind to guard the trailer. Hopefully they will upgrade to a single-family home when baby comes.

I'm already liking this girl. At least she's actually smiling. Probably because she knows she's carrying a gold mine in her belly. I know, I'm so cynical. They are in love. Real, true love.

Splash

Close your legs ladies if you don't want to get knocked up, because another one has got bitten!It's in the air. Matthew McConaughey is expecting a baby with his girlfriend, Camilla Alves. He wrote on his website, "My girlfriend Camila and I made a baby together ... its 3 months growin in her womb and all looks healthy and lively so far."

He totally wrote that when he was stoned. What am I saying? He's always stoned. I'm surprised he didn't fall up his announcement with "my spermies works!" I can't wait to hear what name these two come up with and by "these two" I mean him.

In an interview with Playboy Magazine, Matthew McConaughey was asked why he never covers up his chi-chis. He said, "Well, I grew up in the country and didn't wear shirts or shoes. My mom didn't even put a bathing suit on us in the country club until we were nine."

Country club my ass! Don't try to act all fancy and shit, Matthew. He was totally playing with the hose at the county jail, because his family's water got turned off. Stop lie telling! There's nothing wrong with the truth. He's country. I shouldn't talk. I'm not even country and we used to make our own slip-n-slide. We would wet down Hefty garbage bags and lay them out. Talk about ghetto. Ok they weren't Hefty brand, they were the generic brand. Hefty would've been fancy.

Matthew also confessed to losing his virginity at the age of 15. Late bloomer!

Source: Us Weekly

No, this isn't a shoot for Drakkar Noir. It looks like a setup for a cheesy 90s men's cologne. It's some shoot for that new movie Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey are in. At least Matthew bathed and covered himself for the occasion.

It's so hard to hate Kate when she looks like Goldie Hawn circa 1975. I love '75 Goldie.

Wenn