Rosie O'Donnell

Rosie O'Donnell would like to relieve Britney Spears of her duties as the unofficial face of mental illness. Rosie told "Good Morning America" that she should replace Brit. Rosie said, "I sort of feel Britney has become the poster child (for mental illness). The kid is very young. She never had a childhood. She never rode a Big Wheel. Rather than put her face on mental illness, or Brooke Shields, who had postpartum depression, use me."

Rosie never rode a big wheel either. It kept breaking. Rosie thinking Britney is the poster child for mental illness is proof enough that Rosie should not be the face of mental illness.

And in totally sane Rosie news, she still isn't over that stupid spat on "The View." She said on "The Martha Stewart Show", “There was people there telling me what to do. There was a little Republican who scared me.” Take my hand Rosie, it's time to walk away from that. The little Republican will continue to scare us all and you're kind of scaring me by not moving on. Eat a muffin and skip along.

Here's RoRo signing that children's craft book of hers at Barnes & Nobles yesterday.

If I told you the bitch in the middle was a lesbian named Esther from Asheville, North Carolina, you would believe me 100%. Rosie O'Donnell thought about having a hot lesbo threesome with Clay Gayken for a split second, but then smelled his ball sweat and called it a night.

Here's these three happy lesbians backstage at "Spamalot" last night. The Susan Powter looking chick is Rosie's main bitch, Kelly.

Rosie O'Donnell has offered a job to our favorite faux chola, Danny Noriega, on her R Family Cruise to Mexico next week. Rosie said on her blog that she would love him to come out with a friend or his family and perform "Tainted Love."

She also said that Cyndi Lauper was also set to perform on the cruise and Danny could duet with her. Rosie went on to say, “I think you’re fantastic. And I think you’re a bold and brave and beautiful young man. And I admire you, Danny Noriega. You have an amazing voice. And your hair looks good straight.”

That's the only thing that's straight on him. Rosie only asked him, because she wants to find out if his ass tastes as good as pussy. Shit, I'm nasty, but you know Danny's a-hole secretes a little vag juice. Ok, I'll stop!

Anyway, Danny should only it if he gets to headline. Danny is going to be a big shining star.......on the drag circuit.

VIA People

Thanks Kathryn

I figured Rosie O'Donnell as one of those types that was perfectly fine with the way they looked. The kind of person that really doesn't give an eff. I guess that type doesn't really exist. Rosie confessed on her blog that she has been drinking too much and is laying off the bottle, because she wants to drop a few. One reader asked her why she was not drinking beer anymore. Rosie wrote:

cause i was drinking too much
cause i didnt want to anymore
cause it is hard to lose weight wen drinking
cause i can never have only one

cause belly gettin to big
cause kelly culd no longer eat cat
cause belly in way
cause like wen kelly munch muffin
cause belly must go

Rosie didn't write that last part, but you know that's the real reason. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Source: Page Six

Uh oh! Lourdes has that glimmer in her eyes. She loves the camera. She's totally thinking, "When is this woman going to move out of the way, so I can get some solo pictures. The camera loves loves loves loves me!!!" Madonna brought the little Lourdes out for her Malawi event at the United Nations in NYC last night. Guy Ritchie was not around. It's not his scene. He wasn't there, but everyone else was and I mean everyone. Well, everyone except Angelina Jolie. She's in Iraq. Not everyone has time to sit around in fancy dresses and jack themselves off for being such a savior to the world. Someone has to get out there and do the work!

Did Madonna have chicken cutlets put in? It's the PP revolution at work! She had something done, because she looks soooo fresh? A pull or a cutlet. One of those.

Here's Madge with Lourdes, TomKat and Rosie O.

Splash, Wenn, Wireimage

Thanks Stacy

Rosie O'Donnell is currently in rehearsals for a show based on her life. Rosie plans to bring the show to Broadway. The show will cover all the bases including her childhood, her time at The View and coming out of the closet as proud member of the carpet muncher's association. Rosie has enlisted Michael Mayer of "Spring Awakening" fame to direct her ass. It will mostly be a solo-show, but apparently Tom Hulce has a role in it.

Rosie 8 times a week? Is there a buffet dinner included in this show? That's probably the only way I could stand it. Either that or Jackee Harry making her triumphant return as Star Jones.

Cindy Adams reports that Rosie isn't the only one jacking herself off with a solo show. Will Ferrell, Val Kilmer and Joan Collins are reportedly working on one. Great, that's what we need. These four just need to get together in a room with lots of mirror and take turns banging themselves. It's the same effect.

Rosie O'Donnell took to her blog today to comment on Brit Brit's drama. She compared her to Princess Diana and thinks Brit could suffer the same fate. Ro writes:

"I remember the tunnel as it appeared on the news, lit by headlights, flashlights, red lights. Between the cement tall pillars was a heap of twisted metal. I saw it then, and I can see it now. Diana dead."

"She will be trying to get away, but they will chase her, just as they chased her into that church yesterday. There were dozens of them, jostling their way into sanctuary, elbowing past each other, just to creep closer to her. Even her last-minute, folded-hand prayers can’t be kept sacred. There can be no silent moments in a crowd; no silence, and no secrets."

She went on, "At eight years old, she bravely stood before a microphone. By 17, she had sold 25 million records. Where were the sidewalk-skinned knees, the chalk stained hands, the monkey bars, the passed notes? A Disney set is not a childhood, no matter how many bright colors they use, or how cheerful the script. Not a girl, barely even a woman yet, they chased her. A mob of stalkers for whom no stalking laws have been written. Smother. Crush. Flash. Photo Credit. Even Dr. “Get Real” Phil got in on the action. Unreal."

"The tunnel is crowded now. There are only inches of separation between vulnerability and disaster."

I think there's a pretty big difference. I see what Ro's trying to say, but I really do believe that Britney loves the attention at times. I mean she's dating one of them! She's sleeping with the so-called enemy and she's fucking cool with it.

Yes, the paps are crazy at her, but I think she brings it on. She brought it on by constantly going out and constantly wanting to get attention. If she doesn't want them around anymore, she needs to pull it back and disappear. It's at a fever pitch and if she wants it to stop, only she can really make it stop. She won't though, bitch loooves it.

Rosie O'Donnell attended the Broadway opening of The Little Mermaid last night where she confessed to People that she has made up with Elisabeth Hasselcrack. Lesbos! Rosie said she sent baby gifts to Elisabeth's new son Taylor Thomas, "He's very, very cute. I saw him on TV, and I sent him a lovely gift, and [she and Hasselbeck] have been e-mailing each other. And peace prevails."

"We e-mail back and forth. She seems good. She looks like she adopted, like she didn't give birth. She looks perfectly fit and gorgeous already."

Wow, Rosie's in a great mood. I thought she was going to hate Elisabeth for the rest of her life. Too bad her skin doesn't fit the inside. I'm sure that's what the inside of Paris Hilton's ass cheeks look like. Rosie stays out of the damn sun. It's making you look like you have an STD on your face.

Here's Rosie with her love-love-lover Kelli last night.

Images: Wenn

TMZ reports that Eminem was put in the hospital in Detroit over the holidays for a heart condition and severe pneumonia. His spokeswhore said, "Over the holidays, Marshall Mathers, pka Eminem, was under doctor's care at a Detroit-area hospital for complications due to pneumonia. He has since been released and is doing well recovering at home."

They also say The Real Slim Shady isn't so slim anymore. Sources say he's weighing in at over 200 pounds. He's 5'8". Is that really all that fat? The above pic of Eminem was taken in 2006 and he's lookin' a little dyke-alicious. Rosie O'Donnell totally wants to hit that. He looks like a straight-up female to male tranny. It's probably the weight.

I don't know why I find this so funny, but I do. It's probably from smoking all that wee.....tea. Yeah, tea will just give you the fucking giggles. Especially when you smoke it. Chamomile will do tricks on ya! So it's a video of Rosie O'Donnell filming a scene for Nip/Tuck in which her character gets attacked by an eagle. It airs this Tuesday.

So weird....

I hope that eagle puppet gets some kind of recognition come Emmy time.