Rihanna

 

The Alien Princess and the Queen of the VMAs, Rihanna, denied that she was dating Shia LaDouche last night. But....MediaTakeOut reports that she went home with Justin Timberfuck at the end of the night.

 

A source said, "Justin and Rihanna were hanging out and [talking] for a while. Then they both got up all nonchalant and left together ... It was crazy because Jessica [Biel] was there and she was looking all over for [Justin] ... Poor girl."

 

I'm going to choose to not believe this. RiRi wouldn't mess with that doofus. He's soo....dorky and not cute dorky, just straight-up dorky. 

 

I can't blame JT for wanting to tap that though. He probably got sick of being manhandled by She-Hulk Biel.

 

 

 

Chris Applebaum directed Rihanna's "Umbrella" video and said he was startled when a crew member started crying during a scene where Rihanna was covered in silver paint.

 

He said, "I had one eye in the camera and the other one was closed. And I heard this odd sound, and so I opened the other eye and looked down, and the camera assistant was crying. So after the take, I asked her if she was OK, and she looked at me and said, 'Chris, this is just so beautiful. I just can't believe I'm actually watching this. This is the most incredible thing I've ever seen.' And it really felt to me like we were shooting something unique at that moment."

 

Who the hell was his assistant?! Amber from Big Brother 8? 

 

See! Rihanna's sheer beauty brings grown ass people to tears! Actually, the assistant was probably crying because she was going to make $50 to work 12 hours and she had no idea how she was going to make rent that month. Those bitches make shit!  True story!  

 

Source: MTV

 

 

 

The Alien Princess, Rihanna, has laughed off reports that she's "canoodling" on the down low with Transformers douche, Shia Labeouf. The two were rumored to have had a romantic dinner at Kate Mantilini in Los Angeles last week.

 

Rihanna said, "Me and Shia, we are just friends, you know, we barely even know each other."

 

She also denied dating Omarion.

 

Thanks be to the aliens! RiRi is way too good for that Shia mess. I'm sorry, but I'm not buying him. He looks like he has a crooked dick and those things are dangerous.

 

Below is Rihanna at a Nascar event last night. That dress looks like it was made out of wallpaper scraps from the 70s. 

 

Images: Splash Story: Source

 

 

British singer, Taio Cruz, said that he was in the studio the day Tricky Stewart finished Rihanna's hit song "Umbrella." He told Tricky that he had to have the song immediately, but Tricky said it was on hold for Britney Spears.

 

Taio said, "As soon as I heard it I said: ‘That is a smash, I have to have it,’ but he told me it was on hold for Britney.

“I told him I didn’t think Britney would be able to sing it – she ­hasn’t got the right accent – but he said he was keeping it for her anyway. He waited but Britney’s people never called him back.”

 

He said that after Britney never called Tricky back, he recorded the song, but his label didn't think it worked with him. Rihanna eventually got the song that has become one the biggest hits of the year. Ooooh Britney!

 

Something tells me that song really wouldn't be the same with Brit Brit singing. Imagine her ass bouncing around with an umbrella! Fantasia's Dance of the Hours anyone?

 

In other Brit Brit news...yesterday her car ran out of gas and the cops had to push it to the nearest gas station. Oh and she got a ticket too!

 

And....Brit has apparently hired a private investigator to get dirt on KFed.

 

Why is it always drama with Britney? Always! She needs to get a clue and realize her life would be a lot simpler if she kept her ass at home, but methinks that's not what our little girl from the south wants!

 

 

 

 

 

That alien hotness Rihanna is currently in London promoting umbrellas and crap. She told a reporter that she was absolutey in love with Britian.

 

She said, "I love Britain, especially London because you can get great West Indian food. The fans are great here, they're incredibly loyal."

 

She should've stopped right there. She went on to say, "It's like being in Europe, but everyone speaks English."

 

Well, you can't have beauty AND brains. Rihanna, next time you're in South Carolina look up Lauren Caitlin (see below). You two have a lot in common.

 

Below is Rihanna performing at Scala last night. 

 

 

Source: Female First

 

 

 

 

Alien hotness Rihanna bumped into a chair messing up her foot. She won't be able to walk for 2 weeks, but she said she'll perform her Dallas show in a chair. In a chair? REFUND!

 

A little messed up foot didn't stop Rihanna from spending some of her cash on Robertson in L.A. yesterday.

 

It's a good thing that when she hit that chair she didn't fall down and bust her FIVE-head too! Hahah! Love that alien ho.

 

 

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Rihanna has officially shattered records in the UK with the longest running #1 single for the past decade. Rihanna's "Umbrella" celebrated its 10th week at the top spot. The last long-ass #1 single was in 1994 by the group Wet Wet Wet. Whoever they are.

 

Ok...can that song go the hell away now? I love me some Rihanna, but that song is eating my brains alive. It needs to retire already! Ella Ella Ella Ella...FUCK! Now I'm going to have it in my head all day!

 

Above is Rihanna at the welcome party for Posh & Becks. Who the hell didn't go to that damn party!?

 

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Alien hotness, Rihanna, said that she wants to be the "black Madonna" and while she was making her latest album she made sure that the songs were Madonna-like.

 

She said, "I want to be the black Madonna. Any artist could have done the music which appeared on her first two albums but her latest songs were ones only a certain artist could do."  

 

Why can't she just be Rihanna? Who the hell would want to be the black Madonna anyway? Saggy tits and veiny hands?! No thank you!

 

 

 

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Rihanna's "Umbrella" has just entered its 9th week as the #1 song in the UK and is very close to shattering records. You all know how much I love this alien, but if I hear "ella ella ella" one more time I'm going to fuck someone in the ass with an umbrella. I swear...it's almost worse than the damn Macarena song. 

 

She's still a gorgeous creature. Here she is in August's Paper Magazine. I'm not sure who styled this shit, but I wouldn't be surprised if these outfits were previously worn by the Flavor of Love girls. 

 

 

 

It's Live Earth all day today in like a million cities or something. The aliens were represented with the hottest alien of them all, Rihanna. She took the stage at Live Earth Tokyo and of course melted the hearts of everyone. Nobody wears a catsuit like this chick. I looked for camel, but didn't see any. Aliens don't have camel!

 

Above is RiRi with Japanese pop star Kumi Koda. Rihanna is 5'8" which means Kumi is like 2 feet tall.