Melanie B | Dlisted

All You Need Is One Shot

A friend of Eddie Murphy told the News of the World that Scary Spice and Eddie only fucked three times! The source claims that's why Eddie was so surprised when she announced she was having his baby. Apparently, Eddie was not in love with Scary, but she was infatuated with him. Oh please! She just wanted that money.

The source claims that now Scary is asking for a lot of shit. The source said that Scary has proposed a settlement to Eddie. "Mel said all the problems would go away if Eddie agreed to her demands for a $9MILLION (that's £4.5million) house in Malibu plus living expenses for 18 YEARS."

I'm surprised to hear they had sex at all, let alone three times. I pictured Eddie jacking on Scary's butt while watching tranny porn. Scary probably immediately threw Eddie off of her and cleaned his sperm off her ass and froze that shit! Bitch isn't dumb. She probably called the Spice Girls to come over and help inseminate herself with a turkey baster.

Those Spice Girls don't have any kind of musical talents, but they sure know how to trap a man and take his cash. Ask Posh!

Posted by: Michael K

52 comments •

Melanie B

Posh Turns Down The Volume

The Spice Girls attended Roberto Cavalli's show in Milan yesterday and Posh was looking so subdued. Bitch must have let that little "worst-dressed" title get to her. Either that or she's recovering from some surgery. She seriously looks like a Palm Beach socialite on recovery. Facelift! Scary Spice looks just that....Scary! At first I thought Venus Williams got herself a new weave.

Posted by: Michael K

36 comments •

Melanie B • Posh & Becks

They Still Should've Lip-Synched

The Spice Girls performed on the finale of the U.K.'s "Strictly Come Dancing" and I must say it didn't tear out my ear drums completely. They sang "2 Become 1" and they sang it live. Surprisingly enough, Posh's singing didn't have me running for the ear bleach. Bitch can't sing by no means and she should really just stand there and look pretty. She sort of sounds she's singing through the ass of a cow.

Click here if you can't see the video

Thanks Carly

Posted by: Michael K

57 comments •

Melanie B • Posh & Becks

The Spice Kids

The Spice Girls brought all their kids up onstage last night in London during their song "Mama." Posh made all her boys wear "Posh" shirts. The only kid missing was Geri's little Bluebell Madonna. Blueballs is already a diva. She's not about to share the stage.

All kids wore earplugs, because they couldn't risk Posh's mic accidentally being turned on during the song.

They should do the audience a favor and hand out earplugs at the entrance just in case.

Posted by: Michael K

54 comments •

Brats • Melanie B • Posh & Becks

The Posh Show

Posh Beckham is getting all the attention on the Spice Girls tour and the other chickens don't like it one bit. At the opening of their London show, Posh got the most applause so says the Daily Mail. Posh's mic was turned down low that when she tried to speak nobody could hear her. That's probably a good thing. Her heels are also higher than the others, so she towers over them. It's the little things, I guess.

A source said, “All of these silly petty things just got on the nerves of the other girls. And to top it off when Victoria kept getting the loudest applause and cheers, it really grated on the others.

"The fact Posh probably had the least to do but was getting the best reception was a bit disheartening. It all blew up backstage afterwards and there were some very stern words and evil looks exchanged."

Is that why Posh had pitt cleavage? Scary, Sporty, Baby and Ginger probably got together, stole her fugly corset, threw it in the dryer and watched that Posh try and squeeze into it.

Please! The only reason these women got back together was for cold hard cash. I'm sure they could give a shit that Posh is getting the most attention. All they see are dollar signs. I mean pound signs. Well, Posh sees dollar signs since she lives in America and Baby sees pounds since she lives in...oh well you know what I mean!

Posted by: Michael K

659 comments •

Brawls • Melanie B • Posh & Becks

Sexy

Pitt cleavage! Maybe Posh's new implants are falling out the sides, trying to make their escape. They aren't as devoted as the old ones.

Posh and the other Spice Memaws began their London concerts last night. 1 down, 16 more to go! Baby's sprained ankle seems to have healed. Christmas miracle!

The reviews were mixed. Some said Posh was the star of the show and others said their singing sucked. What the hell do you expect? It's the Spice Memaws not Placido Domingo.

Posted by: Michael K

152 comments •

Melanie B • Posh & Becks

Posh Did It!

Baby Spice is on crutches after Posh pushed her down the stairs. Naw, Baby said she had a "tumble on the stage" and sprained her ankle. Actually, Posh is too busy thinking about herself. It was Ginger Spice!

The Spice Girls debuted their new "Spice One" Virgin Airlines jet last night. Baby said she will make a full recovery before their next show in London.

Hmmm...publicitiy stunt!

Wenn , Splash

Posted by: Michael K

36 comments •

Melanie B • Posh & Becks

Drink Up!

I hope that's a white wine spritzer she's drinking, because one sip of 100% wine would probably send that bitch to the ER. Posh brought her twig ass out to support her fellow Spice Girl, Lesbo Spice. Melanie C performed a solo gig in Los Angeles last night. She probably needed to sing some "real music" after performing with those pop twats. Scary also came out with her much scarier husband.

Splash

Posted by: Michael K

55 comments •

Melanie B • Posh & Becks

Memaw Power!

It's like 1996 again! Only with more expensive costumes and probably more plastic surgery. The Spice Girls made their return last night in Vancouver performing for over 15,000 people. Avril Lavigne and David Beckham were among the 15,000 in the audience. The 2-hour show contained 22 songs. They performed everything from "Wannabe" to their own solo shit.

A rep for the group denied they lip-synched, saying, "There is a click track for the band to keep them in time, which is standard, but all of the girls' vocals were live."

Didn't lip-synch?! I need to get a refund on my tickets. I don't think my ear drums can take those bats singing live and by "bats" I mean Posh.

The tour will hit several cities such as Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Shanghai, Madrid, Cape Town and Newark, NJ.

Since this reunion is on its way, can we please put a reunion together for The Mickey Mouse Club's pop group "The Party?" Please!!!

Posted by: Michael K

66 comments •

Melanie B • Posh & Becks

Spice Support

The Spice Memaws attended part-one of the "Dancing with the Stars" finale to support Scary Spice. Oh and by "support" I mean they were forced to go for some publicity. Posh looked like she would rather be getting a coffee enema than watch that crap. She's too good.

And who do I talk to about getting 45-minutes of my life back? That finale was GOD AWFUL. I mean the show sucks, but last night was worse. It's like watching two raccoons fighting over a half-eaten can of baked beans. Marie Osmond as a little girl doll? I had nightmares about that.

Click here to watch all the shitty performance in case you missed any. Actually, instead of watching the videos tease the neighborhood crackhead cat with a feather. It'll be much more entertaining.

Scary is sooo going to win.

Splash

Posted by: Michael K

37 comments •

Melanie B • Posh & Becks • Reality TV