Small Ones

Sorry, but Jenny McCarthy won this round. Jim Carrey may have the attitude and it looks like RuPaul's "Supermodel" is playing in his head while he's working that swimsuit, but the bitch did not come prepared.

First of all, that suit makes his badonkadonk look fat. His chichis could use a little padding AND homegirl didn't wax her crotch jungle. Take some NADS to that mess! WAIT!? And is that cellulite I see on Jim? Quick! Get Phoebe Price and her cellulite-finding magnifying glass to get to the bottom of this.

Jim, next time try a Miraclesuit tankini.

Here's more of Jenny and Jim being bored and entertaining the paparazzi outside their shack in Malibu yesterday.

22-year-old Ranae Shrider from Kentucky is the woman who did sexay times on tape with Mini-Me. TMZ reports she's an aspiring model and Mini-Me's ex-girlfriend. Mr. and Mrs. Shrider must be so proud of their little daughter. They're telling out their church friends that lil' RaeRae (that's why they call her) is starring in her first feature with the one and only Mini-Me!

Okay, in all seriousness now. Somebody please find the full sex tape. I know it's out there and I need to see what Verne's snausage looks like.

Here's more pictures of RaeRae with Mini-Me. She looks like she could swallow him whole. Oh and of course she has a picture with Wonky McValtrex. This is all Wonky's fault!

This is a Playstation 3 ad made by TBWA in Austria. This shit is not funny! You should not fuck around with peen like that! Just no. The ad replaces a hot dude's dick with a thumb. A thumb dick! I've heard of pencil dick, but thumb dick? That's a new one. The NSFW version is after the jump. JUMP!!!

Enrique Iglesias regrets saying he had a small dick 6 years ago, because people took his joke as fact. He's now known as the "dude with the small one."

He told Showbiz Spy, “I said I had a small penis as a joke. And they took it literally when it is not the truth. So when people find out it’s not the case they are pleasantly surprised.”

Based on my dickdar skills, I'd say Enrique's dick is 6-inches hard with an abnormally large mushroom head. The kind of mushroom head that makes you go "Ewwww."

If Enrique wants to prove to the world that the dick isn't puny, he needs to show the goods before a live studio audience. Playgirl magazine doesn't count! I'm convinced Playgirl photoshops a couple of inches on their dicks.

I don't know how old this is, but it's Robbie Williams giving himself a mangina during some interview. That's basically it. I have no idea what kind of coke words are coming out of his mouth, because I was too busy focusing on his mangina to see if the clit was going to slip out. Sadly it never did. The video is after the jump and it's slight NSFW. Slightly. Let's jump!

Lily Allen's 21-year-old brother, Alfie Allen, bared it all at the premiere of Equus last night. Alfie took over the role from Daniel Radcliffe and co-stars alongside Danny's ex, Laura O'Toole.

Hmmm....maybe Alfie is a grower and and not a shower? It looks like a itty bitty pig in a blanket! I wonder if there's extra butter in there? You know how I love my dick butter. Sucio, sucio!

Click here....here......here....and here to see Alfie's willy. It's NSFW. It will probably give you a craving for vienna sausages. I'd hit it. At least I wouldn't gag my lunch out when trying to take it to the nuts.

Small dicks turn anyone into an expert deep-throater.

Mr. Paparazzi