Brandon Davis

Laugh To Keep From Crying

This chick with Fat Elvis is totally "fake laughing." She's thinking to herself "Ugh, I'm totally going to have a mouthful of oil by the end of the night just so I can be seen on some stupid blogs." I hope she has a big supply of Dawn Dish Soap lying around. It gets the grease out.

Here's FE and his lady love at a party in Miami last night.

Splash

Posted by: Michael K

107 comments •

Brandon Davis

He's Still Sort Of Hot, Right?

Fat Elvis just won't go away. He's like an effin roach! Anyway, he ruined his brother's wedding over the weekend. Yeah, he's a real peach. Page Six reports that Fat Elvis reportedly got drunk and started knocking over tables and shit. Actually, sounds like a hot wedding to me.

A source said, "Brandon got so upset, he sent tables crashing . . . he had to be carried out of the reception." The reception was held at the Mantage Resort in Laguna Beach, CA.

He's like an animal! TMZ has it right. He's a greasy bear. He probably smelled a delicious berry and was knocked shit over to get to it.

Posted by: Michael K

75 comments •

Brandon Davis

Somebody Loves Brandon Davis

Has Fat Elvis actually found love? Could this be it? Is it possible that there's a female out there that actually doesn't mind being slimed on? Anyway, Fat Elvis was caught "canoodling" and making out with a blonde girl at Prive in Miami last week.

A witness said, They "made out all night. It was gross."

There's nothing gross about true love, well maybe when it comes to Fat Elvis. He was also spotted on the beach with his alleged new lady love. She's a call girl, right?

Source: Page Six - Image: Splash

Posted by: Michael K

74 comments •

Brandon Davis

Riding The Bull

What I want to know is how the hell did Fat Elvis even manage to get himself on the bull? I would think the grease pouring from his pores would prevent him from doing this. He's probably one of those sick fucks that sweats profusely in the winter times.

Here's Fat Elvis at the Diesel store opening last night.

Source: Mollygood

Posted by: Michael K

88 comments •

Brandon Davis

Britney's Wig Almost Falls Off!

Britney Spears almost lost her wig while making her way to her second home, Millenium Dance Studio. Brit quickly grabbed for the blonde polyester mop when she felt it slipping off. DAMN! So close! That would've made my day, week and possibly month!

Britney is also gearing up to play the House of Blues in Orlando, FL after a string of mini-gigs in California. Tickets went on sale this morning for the May 19th show. I wouldn't waste my dough on that if I was you. Tickets are only $35, but use that for a fried chicken dinner. You'd be staring at the same thing either way.

And in more Britney news JJ has been spotted! Fuzzy pictures of Brit's elusive younger son have been caught by x17. He looks like a mini SPF. I really thought he was half black, half tard or something scandalous. I mean why else would Britney be keeping him under wraps!?

SplashNewsOnline

Posted by: Michael K

98 comments •

Brandon Davis

Petra Nemcova Has Great Taste in Men

Petra Nemcova used to date a homeless man named James Blunt. She has rebounded from that relationship by being caught "canoodling" with Paris Hilton's ex, Nachos. The two were spotted getting down and dirty with Fat Elvis watching at Bungalow 8.

A source said, "She was grinding him," our witness said. "It was pretty gross. I mean, he used to sleep with Paris. Eww. I haven't heard of this."

Nachos isn't that bad! Yes, he got down with Paris which means his peen has probably been destroyed, but he's sort of hot. Just a little? A tinsy bit?

Souce: Page Six

Posted by: Michael K

86 comments •

Brandon Davis • Gross

The Simpletons

Gallery of the Absurd has done it again. This is genius and should be used as the real poster for the next season of The Simple Life. I'd totally watch it with this poster.

This is the best Paris has ever looked!

Posted by: Michael K

84 comments •

Brandon Davis • Nicole Richie • Paris Hilton

Don't Forget to Smell It

Fat Elvis aka Brandon Davis is being sued for apparently for ripping off a casino in the Bahamas during a weekend in January. TMZ reports that he owes Atlantis resort $75,000 after a check he wrote for gambling funds BOUNCED! The casino wants their cash back plus $270 to cover the returned check fee.

Broke ass bitch! Hahahaha...perhaps he can ask Paris for it, but methinks that dumb slut is broke too.

If you're not eating lunch yet, I'm sure the picture above will help your appetite. Chili cheese fries for lunch it is!

Posted by: Michael K

194 comments •

Brandon Davis

Hahaha! She Deserved It!

Kathy Hilton apparently dropped major dough on Paris Hilton's star-studded Birthday dinner at Prime Grill in Beverly Hills. Celebrity guests included Nicole Richie, Joel Madden, Paula Abdul, Courtney Love and of course, Fat Elvis. Everything was going well until Fat Elvis ruined that piece of trash' party. Sources say that he started to lose it and began throwing flowers at Paula Abdul. WTF? A witness said, "Then he began bombing her with Styrofoam flower-holders. He was shouting, 'Lick my [BLEEP], Paula!' He started mocking her ancestry by speaking gibberish in an Arabic accent. Stavros and Paris tried to stop him. Paris said, 'Shut up, you're wasted!'" But it was too late. Abdul, who was due to sing "Happy Birthday," made an early exit. " You know you're crazy when Paula Abdul can't even party with you. Fat Elvis didn't stop there. He turned his attention to Courtney Love. "He lifted her up so that she was straddling his waist. Her Chanel dress was riding up. Brandon was saying, 'I want to squirt on you.' He was humping Courtney in front of her daughter, Frances Bean. When he put her down, Courtney grabbed Frances and they marched out of the restaurant through the kitchen." Shortly after that he was asked to leave. Apparently, Paris isn't talking to him anymore. Hahaha! I only wish this was caught on video. Rich fuglies doing what rich fuglies do best, ruin life! God, Fat Elvis sucks at life big time. Source

Posted by: admin

135 comments •

Brandon Davis • Paris Hilton • Paula Abdul

Warning! This Picture Contains 6000 Grams of Fat

This is Jason Davis, brother of Fat Elvis aka Brandon Davis, at one of the Golden Globe's Suites yesterday. Try to keep your tongue away from the screen. I know you want to lick that goodness up and down.

Posted by: admin

132 comments •

Brandon Davis • Fug • Gross