Cameron Diaz

Sexy and Cameron are two words that should never go together. EVER. Well, maybe when she was in "The Mask," but that's about it. Cameron talked to W Magazine about everything from how she wanted to be a zoologist to how she's moving to Manhattan, because she's over L.A. Manhattan is over you Cameron and you haven't even moved here yet!

She said, "I’m done with L.A. Those guys [the paparazzi], you can’t get away from them. You have no options because everybody’s in a car. Here, I can walk down the street like everybody else. Not everybody is there to be rich and famous or attach themselves to rich and famous people. People want nothing from you. They just want to say, like, ‘Hey, how’s it going, Cameron?’ I like that interaction. I like to be in a place where I can be open to people and not worry about the consequences.”

What the hell is this stupid bitch talking about?! Manhattan is nothing like "Friends." People do not like being talked to. They don't. I pretend I don't know English whenever I hit the streets. I know how to say "don't know english" in every bad accent.

Cammy also talked about what she really wanted to be when she was little, "I wanted to be a zoologist, to study the sociology of animals. But that’s pretty much what I do now anyway. I thought I’d be on the plains of Africa watching lions, but instead I’m in Hollywood watching train wrecks.”

It's never to late to follow your childhood dreams Cammy. Move to Africa and make love to the lions. They need you.

If Cameron Diaz was as aggressive on her skin as she is with hot dudes, she probably wouldn't have a sausage pizza face! Gerald Butler is reportedly the latest dude to be bumping no-nos with Cammy. Some sourcie claims the two have gone out 3 times in the last 10 days.

They were recently spotted at Shutters in Santa Monica, “They walked up to the balcony area to look at the sunset. He had one arm round her waist and the other on the small of her back. She kept giggling and touching his chest to whisper in his ear. They obviously had a good night.”

The skeeza is always giggling! She probably giggles when she makes a poo. Grow the fuck up! Just wipe and look like the rest of us.

I'm going to be easy on Gerry Butt. He hasn't dated that many celebrities, so Cameron Diaz is a good starter. You start with Cameron and then you quickly move on. The key word being QUICKLY. Cameron is the perfect introduction to celebrity poon.

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Harrison Ford got loaded with Shrek semen at the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards last night. That slime is probably what the inside of his catheter bag looks like. I'm yanking him! Harrison has still got it. I mean, he has the earring to prove it.

I actually sat and watched some of this shit. I only did it, because there were rumors that Brit Brit was going to perform. You know what happened the last time she performed, so I couldn't miss this possible mess fiesta. Not surprisingly, she didn't perform. It really hurts when people lie to you. Especially kids. Yes, I blame the kids.

So....here are some of the scallywags that came out for the children. Brendan Fraser's on-again-off-again fake hair needs to be turned off permanently. I'm starting to think it's actual grass grow on his head and he dyes it brown.

One day I really want to pour a glass of water all over the top of Asshole and Pete's heads. Those two would blow up just thinking about their perfectly straight hair possibly turning wavy. I don't think they could function if their hair was not straight.

Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore's wax figures are so life-like! I almost thought it was them until I realized that they suddenly had way more personality and seemed much more interesting. Their wax figures are probably better actresses too. They also got Cameron's face all wrong. They needed to throw a pepperoni pizza with extra sauce on her mug.

Even their wax figures giggle like 5-year-old girls. Grow up Cameron and Drew wax figures!

Splashnewsonline.com

That slut Cameron Diaz may have nabbed another hot dude. Gatecrasher reports that Cammy was seen "frolicking" on the beaches of the Bahamas with that hot piece Scott Speedman. He apparently has a house there and Cammy has been making her annoying ass comfortable.

A witness said, "He has a house down there, and they were frolicking on the beach. They were definitely smooching." Smooching? Frolicking? Who the hell talks like that? That sounds like someone Cammy would say. Shit, she's probably "the witness." I wouldn't doubt it. I could see bitch calling all the papers claiming she's linked to all these hot dudes.

But why Scott? Why? Cammy has infected yet another one. Anything she touches turns to fug.

Eva Mendes went to Nepal with Cameron Diaz for the show "Trippin" on MTV and revealed how the two spent their nights. She said they would have fart and burping contests.

She said, "Cameron is a big old belcher, but I can't belch. One night I had a heavy dinner, so I combated her belching with something I could do. We were in side-by-side beds, so it was her disgusting bodily function versus mine. It was an Eva-Cameron fart-belch off."

These perfect creatures actually burp and fart? Next thing you're going to tell me is that they take shits! At least it wasn't a queef-off.

Source: The Sun