Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Blohan's spokeswhore said that the Ninety Day AA chip she was photographed wearing wasn't hers. She was wearing it to support a friend.

"It was a tribute to a friend who's been sober 90 days."

Um...ok? Shouldn't she pay tribute to her friend by not drinking for at least one night. Bitch was out like 5 times last week, boozing it up. Stupid ass.

Blowing Blohan at the "Bobby" premiere in L.A. on 11/1

Splash News has pics of Lindsay Blohan yesterday making a fashion statement in an AA chip necklace. The chip is a sort of award that represents how long you've been sober. For Blohan's to ring true, it needs to say Ninety Seconds.

In other Blohan news, she's apparently found love with Diana Ross' teenage son, Evan. He's the hotness, but Blohan is a damn maneater. Besides, I think Evan plays on my team and by my team I don't mean tired, bitter bitches..I mean fags.

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This little diddy is presented to you by Ali Lohan, sister of Blohan. I guess she put out some kind of Christmas album which is in stores now. The piece of awful music I'm providing you with is called "Lohan Holiday" and is sung by Ali with background vocals by Blohan. I'm not sure what a Lohan holiday is, but I'm sure it involves doing lines off of each other's firecrotches while crying about how their lives are a complete waste. Then they totally crank call Paris Hilton while smoking crack from broken light bulbs. Ahhh...I love the holidays!

Thx Nick

Blohan decided to pay homage to her dear mother, White Oprah, by dressing as her for Halloween. She's missing the mouth that won't stop yapping and the fake, white hair. Besides that she's got it down.

On the honesty, what the hell kind of Halloween costume is this?! Halloween does not give girls a reason to dress like a lady of the night. Be different for once and actually cover your shit up. I can totally see her firecrotch.

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"Sex And The City changed everything for me because those girls would just sleep with so many people. And that's me. I'm not dating just one person."

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Blohan showed off what I'm thinking is a Halloween costume last night. I'm not sure what she's dressed as. She probably is wearing the pajamas of some dude she screwed the night before and only Hugh Hefner has jammies like that, so she fucked his ass.

TMZ also reports that her ass had a rough night:

At 6:45 am, a TMZ spy spotted Lindsay at Olive and Sunset in Hollywood, near a dog park. Lindsay was sitting in her parked black Cadillac Escalade and our spy, who was walking his dog, could see Lohan through the tinted windows, "freaking out" and talking on her phone. Then, Lohan called our spy over and told him that two men in a silver Toyota 4Runner -- parked behind her -- had been following her for the last two hours, trying to "hit" her vehicle. Our spy reports that "she seemed out of it," that it appeared she'd been out all night, and that she'd clearly been crying, with mascara running down her face. "I've called the cops," said Lindsay of her alleged pursuers. "But the cops can't catch them." What Lindsay didn't even realize in her reduced state was that the two men in the Toyota were actually paparazzi. Our spy saw them snapping away. And, he says, as their vehicle started to creep up on Lindsay's Escalade, she shifted into drive, hit the gas and took off. The paparazzi followed her.

Oh Gawd. Somebody get this crackhead some help! I'm sure since it was so early this morning she was on her way to church!

Lindsay Blohan will have to use a British accent in her next film, “A Woman of No Importance.” She stars alongside Keira Knightley and begins shooting in London next spring.

She said, "I'm going to London in the spring to make a movie with KEIRA KNIGHTLEY. It's a period piece and my character has a British accent. But it's crazy. If I hang out with a British person for an hour or so, I start talking just like them. I can pick up accents pretty well. But I don't want to be remembered like Van Dyke."

She can pick up accents well? What the hell is she talking about? The only accent she can do well is moron. I can’t wait for this shit, because it’s going to be so good. Her accent is going to be worse than Julia Roberts’ in "Mary Reilly".

Oh and these pics are from the Xbox party last night. She totally took these two after the party.

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Blohan must have thousands of drugs running through her veins that make her say the weirdest shit. She told InStyle Magazine that she likes to sit down. No, that she really likes to sit down.

She said, "I'm happiest when I'm just sitting. I recently went to a redwood forest with a friend and went on a hike. It was the most fun I've ever had."

Blissing out….ahhh…The redwood forest was fun, because they probably did rails and rails off of each other’s chochas. I mean what the hell is she talking about? Drugs have gone and killed all of her brain cells. Her thoughts consist of rainbows, forests and magic kingdoms. Bitch needs a blood drain.

By the way...I hate to say it, but homegirl has been looking on the hot side these days. These pics are from the Hollywood Awards two nights ago.

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Lindsay Blohan and James Burke had a little thing about six months ago. James, 20, and Blohan hooked up in NYC and were spotted making out and shit. I guess James comes recommended, because Courtney Love, 42, is now tapping the meat. The pair were seen together at Mr. Chow in Los Angeles and left kissing and holding hands.

A witness said, “They definitely looked like they were on a date, and they seemed really into each other."

He's fug and greasy. I'm glad that these Hollywood trolls keep it in the family though. It would gross me out just to think that I'm sucking a dick that was once in a firecrotch. I'd do it anyway though.

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Lindsay Blohan tells next month’s InStyle Magazine that she can’t stand when people she doesn’t know give her advice on her life. She would must rather get advice from her crackpot mother.

She said, "The other day this guy I'd never met was like: 'Make sure you keep your stuff together.'

"I was like: 'Excuse me? You know nothing about me.' I was flabbergasted."

Truth hurts.

Blohan is currently in Paris, because French coke is better. Actually, she looks good and much healthier. Let’s hope it stays that way.

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