Lindsay Lohan

HoHan was supposed to play Nancy Pitman in Matthew Bright's "The Manson Girls," but she's been dropped. Nikki Finke reports that producers of the movie couldn't find any name actresses to star with HoHan. White Oprah and Ali Lohan are available! They work for cheap too. Just give them a one-day pass to Sunset Tan and they'll sign on the dotted line. Samantha Ronson can play Charles Manson. Let's make it a family affair!

Production on the Manson film is supposed to begin in July, so they dumped HoHan in order to bring in some names.

Not to fret! In addition to guest starring on "Ugly Betty," HoHan has landed herself another role. Page Six reports that she will star in the comedy "Labor Pains." The movie is about a woman who pretends to be pregnant in order to avoid being fired. Wait....isn't this like Jennifer Aniston's "Picture Perfect?" Eeeesh...

If that doesn't work out, I'm sure Vh1 will give her a reality show.

Here's HoHan leaving a production meeting for "Labor Pains" yesterday.

What the hell is going on in this picture? At first, I thought HoHan was giving Joel Madden "dick eyes." You know, it's when your eyes tell a dude to show you his dick. It's slut talk which I'm fluent in.

After inspecting the picture a little longer, it looks more like HoHan is telling him, " Get your 15-year-old 'Full House' ass away from my girlfriend!"

And Joel sort of looks like he's dropping a queef. Celebrities are so strange.

Here's Joel at Hornitos' Cinco de Mayo party last night where he shared a special moment with HoHan.

A 22-year-old college student claims HoHan stole her $11,000 prized mink coat! Masha Markova thought she lost the coat, a gift from her memaw, while attending Nachos' Birthday party at 1Oak. Yup, Paris' Nachos. Masha remembers sitting next to HoHan with her mink coat between them. When it came time to leave Masha couldn't find that shit. Two weeks later, she was flipping through OK! Magazine and spotted a picture of HoHan wearing her coat! Thievery!

Masha went through the blogs to find more pictures of HoHan wearing her coat. She also found pictures from the night of the party of HoHan wearing a black coat. Masha called the club and demanded they do something about it. They said they would handle it, but never called her back.

Masha then had her immigration lawyer contact HoHan's lawyer. A few hours later, 1Oak called and said they were going to deliver something to her. They didn't say what they were going to deliver. A couple of days later, her coat showed up reeking up booze, ciggies and with a slight tear to the lining.

Masha still isn't happy. She wants HoHan to pony up 10 grand for the 3-week rental. A spokeswhore for 1Oak told The New York Post that they didn't know where her coat was during that 3-weeks.

$11 grand for that cat skin?! You can get that shit for $11 down at the Salvation Army. Masha also didn't say whether or not the coat was covered in a heavy layer of greasy fake tanner and lesbo jizz. That's the tell-tale sign!

I'm also disappointed that HoHan was dumb enough to wear stolen merchandise around town. Everyone knows you're supposed to pawn that shit right away.

Speaking of HoHan, here's one of her supposed new tracks off her new album. Guess what? It's diarrhea! But would you expect anything less?

Lindsay Lohan started shooting her guest spot on "Ugly Betty" yesterday. Lohan will play "a down-on-her-luck old high school pal of Betty." High school pal?! More like Betty's high school teacher!

A source told UsWeekly that Lohan was so excited to begin shooting that she showed up 45 minutes early. She didn't mean to show up early. Her agent told her there was an open bar. Tricked!

The source went on to say, "Lindsay and America [Ferrera] really hit it off!" Dyking out! Samantha Ronson won't be pleased.

Lohan's episode will air May 22nd. Her spokeswhore confirmed that she'll be in multiple episodes.

P.S. - Lohan should submit the picture above to the Los Angeles police department to keep on file. If she's ever arrested again, they can use it as her next mug shot. It will save time and money!

Lindsay Lohan is not happy about this ad which ran in USA Today from the American Beverage Institute. The ad warns us against evil doers that want Ignition interlocks (a breathalyzer) installed in every car in America.

They should have used Richie Sambora's mug shot. It's a little more timely. Anyway, TMZ reports that Linds' lawyers are already on it and trying to figure if the ad violates copyright laws.

Linds' main lawyer, Blair Blerk, issued this statement:

"USA TODAY is idiotic for running such an irresponsible advertisement, suggesting that drinking and driving is some kind of American "tradition" we should protect. Not identifying that this ad was paid for by the liquor industry is profoundly reckless.

Drunk, old, white businessmen, drunk cougars out for girls night out, and drunk wedding parties should be kept off the roads of America. Lindsay Lohan fully endorses ignition interlock devices that have been well-proven to save lives."

How dare Blair! I see drunk, old, white gays, drunk call girls looking for their next john and two drunk lovers.

Lindsay should sue. The booze industry has a lot of cash and she needs some......for more boozing!!

Also, Gawker points out that they spelled her name wrong in the ad. Those drunk sluts!

Source VIA Gawker

Last year, it was rumored that HoHan would guest star on "Ugly Betty." Shit fell through and the deal never happened. TV Guide claims talks are back on to bring HoHan in for the season finale on May 22nd. Producers don't want her raggedy ass for just one episode. They want her for eight episodes.

When talks originally started last year, HoHan was going to play a fast food worker that befriends Betty. It's not known who she's going to play this time around. How about a crack whore that befriends Betty? That would make more sense.

Ugly Betty needs to stop with the stunt casting! Posh, Naomi, Nina Garcia, HoHan? Who's next? Morgan Fairchild. Actually, that would be really hot.

HoHan has gone from major movie actress to TV guest star. Next year, she'll be begging to be featured on White Oprah's reality show.

Here's some pictures of HoHan out last night. Yeah, it's practically the same picture over and over again. Bitch at her! She's the one not giving different expressions for each flash.

In the past, I've joked about HoHan looking like a middle-aged former stripper turned Reno, NV cocktail waitress. These pictures of her last night fulfill that description perfectly. She's even wearing her uniform!

The phrase "rode hard and put away wet" doesn't even come close to describing this chick! You can use her skin to smooth out all the splinters on your backyard bench. That shit is rough. You put a drop of lotion on her skin and it will disintegrate like it hit a hot pan.

Here's HoHan at the launch of LG's Scarlet HD TV series. She probably only showed up for the open bar.

Gawker got a couple of screen shots of Lindsay Lohan's supposed Facebook page. It's not private which makes it suspect. The content is thrilling. HoHan goes by "Lindsay Ronson" and recently wrote, "don't believe the hype. im taking my sobriety seriously, and day by day. it was 430am!!"

LinRo counts Cory Kennedy, Lauren Conrad, Jason Preston, Hilary Duff and Lauren Hastings as some of her friends. Lauren Hastings is that bitch who accused HoHan of stealing her clothes a while ago. Lauren recently wrote on LinRo's "Wall," "actually your the one who is looking pretty fuckin thick these days....but because i work a good program i will refrain myself for saying whats really on my mind." No! Say it! We're all watching her "Wall."

Below is a screen shot from Gawker of LinRo's Wall.

I hope she has the Vampire app, because my vampire was born to beat her ass.

14-year-old Ali Lohan, daughter of White Oprah, has started filming "Mostly Ghostly" in Los Angeles. Ali is making her feature film debut as a "a popular high school senior" reports People. A source said the role is similar to HoHan's role in "Mean Girls."

14 playing 17?! Ali could pass for 25, so the make-up and lighting people have their work cut out for them to make her look 17.

Now that Ali has landed her first film role, she's well on her way to following in her sister's mess steps. DUI, rehab, rinse and repeat!

Lindsay Lohan is not letting anyone get near her main snatch, Samantha Ronson. The two were partying at the Beatrice Inn in NYC on Friday night when Ashley Olsen started to chat up Sammy.

HoHan wasn't loving the troll attention Sammy was getting, so she screamed at Ashley, "Get your 15-year-old 'Full House' ass away from my girlfriend." Don't fuck with a jealousy dyke. HoHan really doesn't know who she's messing with. Those Trollsens have evil deep down in their souls. HoHan better check under her bed at night. That's if she's not too busy feasting on a Ronson clambake.

The next night at the Hawaiian Tropic Zone, HoHan became upset with Sammy for "ignoring her." Sammy was busy working. A source told Page Six, "Samantha was really focused on her work and didn't leave the booth for anything."

HoHan has become so obsessed with Sammy that she's even created a Facebook page under "Lindsay Ronson." Add that lesbo!