Tori Spelling

That poor baby won't have a peaceful night's sleep for the rest of his life. He will forever be haunted by the face of Donna Martin. Tori Spelling is in NYC hawking out that book of hers. I must admit that I like the title. sTori Telling. Get it? So clever (eye roll)! I'm sure Andrea Zuckerman came up with that. Everyone was always stealing her ideas.

Tori's book is basically about how she grew up rich, got her tits and nose done and how her mother had an affair while her daddy was on his death bed. SERIOUSLY. It's going to get hot.

Tori claims Candy Spelling was getting her old lady vag tended to while Aaron Spelling was dying. Tori said, "I feel that at this point it's all out there and it's the truth. So what can they say now? It's fine... She's a great grandmother and, at this point in my life, that's all I can ask for... that she has a relationship with my son, a relationship with my future child and that bonds us in a way."

Candy, it's time to whip out the rose scented stationary and write another one of your famous letters. I suggest it starts with, "Dear stupid fucking bitch Tori..."

Poor little Tori Spelling almost went bankrupt from shopping too much. Tori's fug ass told 20/20 that she put hundreds of thousands of dollars on her credit cards. Tori blamed her childhood for the reason she almost went broke. She never had to worry about cash, because her billionaire pepaw bought her whatever she wanted.

Tori said, “I know that might sounds shallow to people, but that was my reality. I would sit and watch my Mom order stuff online, or in a catalogue see a sweater and order it in 10 different colours. I thought ‘I have my own money - that’s what I should do’.”

She decided to go back to work to pay off the bills from her bad shopping habits. Tori said she was too proud to ask daddy.

Let's be real, that bitch asked daddy. When is Tori going to learn that spending thousands of dollars on expensive outfits isn't going to hide her fug! What she needs to do is invest in a paper bag for her face. I know, I'm so harsh on Tori. I never liked her ass. I always wondered why the hell Kelly and Brenda were friends with Donna Martin. Why?! I still don't know to this day.

They actually made Tori look semi-decent on 20/20. They probably brought in a Broadway lighting designer, put several filters on the camera and packed that bitch with make-up.

Source

Tori Spelling will soon release an autobiography and plans to spills the beans on her 90210 days included Hurricane Shannen Doherty. FoxNews.com reports that Tori writes, "Shannen had everything, but she could be arrogant and carefree. Jennie [Garth] was outspoken when she thought Shannen was out of line. Sometimes they got along, but there were explosions. Once they got into a fistfight." I'm sure there was blonde hair all over the floor after that fight. Shannen is the type of crazy chick that will go for the hair and hang on until she's pulled it from the roots.

Tori also talks about Luke Perry's nickname for her, "As for Luke Perry, he called me 'Camel' because I had long eyelashes. Trust me, Luke Perry can call you 'Camel' and make it sexy." Sweet, lovely Tori. You were probably wearing fake eyelashes, you ninny! Luke called you a camel, because you are one hump away from being an actual camel. That's pretty hot. I can picture Luke calling her a stupid "CAMEL!!!" and Tori turning around smiling thinking he's paying her a compliment. Delusional Tori.....

I hope she devotes one full chapter to her horrendously glamorous mother, Candy Spelling.

41-year-old men should not be getting haircuts that are only acceptable on 13-year-olds. However, Dean's new douche 'do definitely matches his personality. Wait, he's an actor right? Maybe he did it for a role? Yeah, I'm having a laugh! Tori Spelling probably made him get it, so the joke could be lifted off of her and put on him.

Here's Dean and knocked up Tori leaving dinner the other night.

Wenn

Tori Spelling and creepy husband are expecting baby number 2 reports InTouch. Tori's first baby, Liam, isn't even 1 yet. A source told the magazine, “They have been having so much fun with Liam, they couldn’t wait to have another!” The friend said Tori is in her second trimester.

Tori and Dean's reality show was also renewed for a third year.

They probably needed the money. Baby pictures are lucrative. Congrats to the happy fugs! Their dog, Mimi La Rue, looks depressed. She thought she was the second baby. Sorry, Mimi. I know you look like them, but you're not related.

Tori's head looks like a Nutter Butter cookie. We all know why mannies take those jobs (this guy is the manny, right?) because they all hope to score with mom. This dude must have a thing for salamander eyes and a peanut shaped heads.

Here's Tori, Liam and some mystery dude, Liam looks like he's pondering what his future will hold... he's thinking "Will I get my fathers looks, or will I be doomed to a life of the Spelling curse, ugly as homemade sin?"

Splash, Wenn