Elderly

 

AS IF! There's a hurtful rumor going around that Tom Cruise is in talks to play Hugh Hefner in the "Playboy" biopic that's currently being developed. Brett Ratner is reportedly directing that mess.

 

A source said, "Tom knows of Hugh's colourful past and thinks he would be the perfect person to bring it to the big screen. He also thinks the role would be a challenge for him, and would remind people of his versatility as an actor. At the moment people are concentrating on his personal life, and his marriage to Katie - but he wants to remind them that he can act too."

 

Leonardo DiCaprio is also rumored to be in the running.

 

Grotesque! I'd rather see Hugh Hefner play Tom Cruise in a movie. Now that would be something to see.

 

Source

 

 

John Travolta! You and your dead cat better step off my man!

 

The Viagra was flowing at the Santa Barbara Film Festival last night. John Travolta awarded Kirk Douglas with some special award along with a special kiss.

 

That is sure one sexy smooch. I bet Kirk had to change his Depends after that one. Maybe John helped him out? Ok, I'm going to be sick now.....

 

 

There's a new book out about sexual facts called "Where Do Nudists Keep Their Hankies?" and the book reveals when some celebrities lost their virginity.

 

Clint Eastwood, David Duchovny, Bruce Willis and Jerry Hall all lost it at the age of 14. Johnny Depp, Jon Bon Jovi and James Caan were just 13. Don Johnson was 12.

 

77-year-old Sean Connery might have been joking when he said he was 8. "I was 8, but I can't recall with whom."

 

He was probably 18, but you know how those oldie olsens are. They forget things. Is it even possible to have consensual sex at the age of 8?! I mean was sex even invented yet when he was a kid? I don't think so. Sex wasn't invented until the 1960s at least!

 

Source: Page Six

 

 

 

 

Yesterday, I posted some story on 73-year-old Velma Brown. She was James Brown's first wife and she filed papers in court claiming they were never divorced. She wanted some of that James Brown money!

 

Well, little old Velma must have forgotten she divorced James in 1969. The New York Times has the signed divorce papers. 

 

Tomi Rae Hynie, James' fourth and last wife, is said to be grateful that there's proof of the divorce. If there wasn't proof, her marriage would've been bunk.

 

Well, that's that!

 

Oh Velma! Go eat some Werther's Originals, watch some Murder She Wrote and enjoy your life. Leave that other business to Tomi Hynie. That crazy bitch can handle it.

 

VIA TMZ

 

 

 

ETOnline has the first shot of My Little Pony Parker and Chris Noth on the NYC set of "Sex and the City" or what I like to call "The Golden Girls Movie." Today's the first day of shooting on the feature film version of the HBO series.

 

The movie stars MLPP, Noth, Cynthia Nixon, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Jennifer Hudson, Jason Lewis, Evan Handler and David Eigenberg. It will hit theaters in May 2008.

 

I see Carrie Bradshaw is still using bookends as purses.

 

 

 

 

During Sally Field's Emmy speech she said something about how if the mothers ruled the world there would be no war or something like that. FOX bleeped her ass and it created controversy. For what reason I'm not sure. 

 

Patricia Heaton's stupid face was asked about it and I don't know why. Who cares what this wicked witch has to say.

 

Her response was, "I've actually become a more violent person since I became a mother. If someone came between me and my kids, they'd be dead meat. So I didn't agree with that particular statement."

 

This is not surprising since Patty takes Republican bukkake every night. Since Patty is such a damn warrior we should send her ass to war. I mean she's not going to have anything to do in a few weeks when her shitty shitty TV show gets cancelled. 

 

Source VIA ONTD

 

 

 

Two old fogies kissed and made up at the GQ Men of the Year Awards in London yesterday.

 

At an awards show in 2004 Elton John famously said, ""Madonna, best fucking live act? Fuck off! Since when has lip-synching been live?"

 

"That's me off her fucking Christmas card list but do I give a toss? No."

And that comment started their  pepaw feud which ended last night when Elton introduced Madonna. Elton said, "This is a moment you thought you would never see." Then they hugged, bumped vaginas and Madonna said, He had "written a grovelling apology and offered to join the Kabbalah".

Such a comedienne that one! 

Madonna cleans up well and it's nice to see her covering her shit up and dressing her age. She is starting to look a little like Debbie Harry though, but I'll take what I can get.

It's also nice to see these two kiss and make up. They don't have a lot of time and now they can spend time together sharing stories over Worther's Originals about how their Depends leave them chffed.

Below is Mad, David Collins and Elton John at last night's award where Madonna won Man of the Year. NO!!!! But she should have. I mean she had a good year, jeez!   

 

 

Source

 

 

 

 

Put this old, grouchy bitch in a home already! First, Jerry Lewis said that Merv Griffin "deserved" to die and now this?! During his famed telethon yesterday Jerry went on some kind of weird rant ending in calling someone an "illiterate faggot." In the clip Jerry is wandering around like a crazy person and when he realizes what he said he quickly tries to change it up. This is LIVE TV!

 

He still raised over $60 Million. Now will someone use like $10,000 of that money to put the old bat away already?! He's bringing everyone down! Why is he so damn angry? Maybe someone's spiking his Metamucil! 

 

Click here to see Jerry's antics 

 

Source: TMZ

 

 

If you told me this woman was 40, I'd believe you. This GIRL is 18. Hayden Pantyairs needs to stop! It's lovely being 18. She should love it. It's all downhill from there.

 

She looks more like she's going to run for President not save the world or did they already do that on Heroes? I don't watch that crap.

 

Here's Hayden and some other Heroes sluts at a photocall in London today. 

 

 

 

 

Move over CNN! Here comes Perez Hilton! Well, I've been sitting around eating a raw hot dog waiting to see if Fidel Castro his bit the big one. Perez Hilton reported TOTALLY EXCLUSIVE LIKE REALLY EXCLUSIVE that friend to all, Fidel is worm meat. Not since JR! The suspense is killing me. I'm not into politics, but I'm into Nancy Grace saying hot things on TV...so let me know if I have to watch Nancy tonight or not!

 

I've also been reading the comments on Jezebel and here's one of my faves:

 

 

Now you guys give me funny comments! I need material for cocktail hour!

 

Oh and thanks to the millions of you that sent this to me!