Arrests

19-year-old Jamie Waylett, who plays Vincent Crabbe in The Harry Potter movies, was busted by the cops for growing some of the good shit in his own house. If you have to ask "What kind of good shit?", just take a good hard look at him. That's a "I EAT GREEN" face if I ever saw one.

Jamie was driving down the road in London when the police pulled him over, because he was acting suspiciously. When they searched his Audi, they found 8 bags of weed. Jamie and his passenger friend were arrested and shuttled down to the station. While Jamie was probably trying to eat the bars off of his cell, police raided the Camden home he shares with his mommy and siblings. They found a beautiful and luscious garden of marijuana plants growing out back.

Jamie was bailed out and is due in court in July.

Somebody paid attention in Herbology class! Cannabis Totalus! You know, Jamie is a smart bitch who effed up. I mean, he works on the set of a movie filled with youngins begging to get a little taste of Mother Nature's favorite herb. Jamie took advantage of that shit and decided to make a little Pizza Hut money on the side. You can't blame a business man for trying.

I'd still bong with him any time. Bitch looks like he grows the strong shit. Nothing less.

If you watch So You Think You Can Dance?, then you know one of the show's choreographers Alex Da Silva. Well, you don't know him THAT well since I'm sure you never thought this motherfucker has rapey hands. Allegedly. The LAPD threw Alex into a jail cell after four of his dance students came forward claiming he had sexually assaulted them between May 2003 and March of this year.

The four women said Alex lured them back to his house in North Hollywood, tricked them into going into his bedroom and then raped them. The LAPD also said they think there's other victims out there.

Alex was arrested on Saturday and is currently marinating his sick ass in a cell on $3.8 million.

You can't trust a bitch with fugly eyebrows who teaches salsa dancing on reality TV. This is so fucking random and gross. I feel like I should burst into one of Mary Murphy's signature screeches of terror.

Source: Associated Press

Andre 3000 should change his name to Andre 3000mph (womp womp), because he was arrested in Georgia on Saturday for getting a little too excited with his gas pedal. All Hip Hop says Andre was speeding down a highway outside of Atlanta in his Porsche and he might have been trying to travel through time or some shit, because bitch was going 109mph in a 65mph zone! And no, he didn't tell the police he was rushing home to get his dick sucked ala Charles Barkley.

Andre was arrested because police said driving that fast is an accident waiting to happen. He was put in handcuffs, shuttled down to the station, booked, had his glamour shot taken and then was released on $1,200 bail.

109mph?! Don't try this at home, but when I was 16 and stupider than I am now (hard to imagine, right?), I decided to see how fast my janky ass Mitsubishi Mirage would go on the freeway. When I got to around 95mph, this little ass bitch was heaving and about to collapse. I thought the doors were going to come flying off and the tires were going to collapse. It's like my car just left rehearsals from Dancing with the Has-Beens. If I would've pulled an Andre by hitting 109mph, that car would've quit this bitch! The motor would've straight up, opened the hood up and jumped out!

And Andre gets 1 out of 10 stars for that boring ass mug shot. Give us something! Although, his mole is trying to give us a little something. It's speaking to me.

A warrant has been issued for everyone's least favorite cokey 'gina bumper arrest. The charge? Assault with a deadly cokeface. Seriously, that mess above is some BENJAMIN BUTTON'S SHIT. Scratch that. This is some FIRE MARSHALL BILL'S SHIT!

Enough with the jokes, this is a serious (HA!) matter. Hollyscoop says that the Beverly Hills PD issued a warrant for Blohan's arrest stemming from her hit-and-run DUI back in 2007. Apparently, the meth-for-brains moron didn't do all the shit she was supposed to do like complete a booze program and perform 10 days of community service. Don't they know that Blohan is a celebwhore, which means she's above the law, which means she can't be bothered with petty shit like that. She's too busy sucking, snorting, boozing, fucking, eating and licking! The important stuff!

TMZ says she also could have failed a drug test (try not to eat your tongue in shock) or even skipped out on a drug test. The warrant is for $50,000. But a warning to all citizens of L.A.! The suspect is armed and dangerous with a nose that can snort you up in milliseconds and vagina lips that can strangle you in minutes!

The B.H. PD said, "It is our hope that Ms. Lohan will surrender herself so that this matter can be resolved in a timely manner."

Oh, shit! This would make my fucking weekend if that coketard and her partner in pussy SamRo went on the lamb! Bonnie & Clyde-style! All she needs is a pair of leggings, a strap-on and enough coke and Red Bull to last her for a few weeks. They can get in their car and drive, drive, drive, drive like the wiiiiind!!!!! Well, until they get into another fight and SamRo dumps Blohan out of the car and then calls the cops on her. Luckily for the cops, that's likely to happen before they even leave Los Angeles city limits.

Here's L.A.'s most wanted fugitive out in Hollywood last night. Only a White Oprah could love that face. Well, she will love it as long as that face keeps bringing home baggies filled with the bad shit.

As expected, Howard K (is for Kreepy) Stern put his slimy claws into handcuffs and was arrested for "conspiring to furnish drugs" to Anna Nicole Smith. And here's his glamour shot!

Last night I said that Howard K's pictures always make me feel like I've just been molested, but this shit goes beyond that. That picture handed me a little dolly, took me to the corner and made me drink a funny-tasting milkshake while stroking my hair. That is a face only a back alley pharmacist could love.

Don't color me surprised, because I'm not, but this is still some shit out of left field (and from 2 years ago). Creepy McCreepster aka Howard K. Stern is expected to turn himself into custody tonight after being charged with making a pill popper even pill poppier (yes, I made up that word). Howard K and two doctors have been accused of conspiring to provide prescription pills to Anna Nicole Smith from 2004 to 2007 even though they knew she was straight-up addicted.

In case you smoked away the memory cells which contain shit from '07, Anna died from an accidental overdose on February 8, 2007 in Hollywood, FL.

Specifically, Howard K, Dr. Sandeep Kapoor and Khristine Eroshevich were charged with 8 felonies. The charges include "unlawfully prescribing a controlled substance," "obtaining a prescription by fraud, deceit or misrepresentation" and "prescribing, administering or dispensing a controlled substance to an addict."

TMZ says each whore's bail has been set at $20,000. Dr. Sandeep is already in custody in Whittier, CA. Oh shit. Maybe OctoMommy can drive down there and entertain his ass with a belly dance. And by "entertain," I mean torture.

You know, I didn't know a ho could be charged with giving a bitch too many drugs? My weedman better not eff with me or the party is over. But seriously, Howard K. Stern should go to prison for just being a fucking creepy skeezer. I feel molested in a wrong way every time I look at his pictures. Bitch better be liberal with the Crisco on his asshole, because it's going to be a long night.

And somewhere in the world, Sugar Pie, Cousin Shelly and Kimmie are celebrating with a round of Night Train. Speaking of Cousin Shelly, let's witness her methness again in this WTF clip from a few years ago.

Okay, after watching that, the L.A. County District Attorney's Office need to also charge Howard K. Stern with whatever he did to this bitch at that time!

The gangsta's paradise must be filled with crack, because Coolio was busted with it at LAX today. TMZ says that Foolio's stupid fucking ass was caught with crack rocks while going through security to catch a flight on Southwest. Getting caught with crack while trying to get on a Southwest flight is pretty much a career high for Coolio. Fuck getting caught with premium cocaine while trying to get on a private jet. This is the shit.

Apparently, Coolio went crazy on the screener after he was caught crack handed. You would totally freak out too if a bitch was trying to take your good shit! Crack rocks don't grow on trees and Coolio probably sold his last Michelle Pfeiffer-autographed poster of Dangerous Minds on eBay to pay for that mess.

But for serious, this crackhead was definitely riding high on the crack cloud if he thought it was a good idea to bring that illegal shit to an airport! FedEx your drugs like normal people do!

No, she wasn't arrested for wearing that lipstick. She was arrested for slapping a whore who called her fiance "stupid." Kelly obviously learned from her mother that when a bitch talks shit about your loved ones, the best way to handle it is to spank them in the teefs.

The shit went down last August inside a club in London when gossip columnist Zoe Griffin made fun of Kelly's dude Luke Worrall for not knowing what an earthquake is. Kelly flipped out and allegedly slapped Zoe. In her column in The Mirror, Zoe quoted Kelly as saying, "I have an issue with you. My boyfriend knows what an earthquake is and everyone has been laughing at him and he's upset." The two started arguing and that's when Zoe felt Kelly's hand on her mug.

The police in London confirmed that a 24-year-old chick was arrested by appointment. She was given a court date in March and was released back into the world on bail.

If you don't know what an earthquake is, you definitely have a "vacancy" sign hanging inside your skull. Kelly slapped the wrong bitch. Kelly should've busted a fist earthquake on her man's head instead for not knowing what that shit is. Don't hate on a truth-teller.

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That Rip Torn just likes a little warm booze in his system while he goes Christmas tree shopping, but unfortunately Rip took the party behind the wheel. Picture this: 77-year-old Rip was humming along, driving in the breakdown lane on Route 44 in Connecticut with a Christmas tree tied to the roof of his Subaru! I'm hoping there was a sneaky forest animal with a digital camera, because that picture would make a beautiful holiday image. Hallmark would sell the fuck out of that shit.

Rip's holiday fun times came to an end when he was pulled over by the cops. Don't you just hate it when the police kill your buzz? E! News reports that the pepaw refused to do a sobriety test, because he said the ground wasn't level. HA! I can hear him screaming, "The ground is moving! That's not fair! It's not right because the ground is moving up, down, back and forth! It's like a wave!"

Rip was also driving without a license, because he lost his in 2007 after pleaded guilty to another DUI (that's where the magical mug shot above is from).

Rip was charged with illegal operation of a motor vehicle while under the influence and failure to drive in the proper lane. He pleaded not guilty (because the ground was moving!) and is due back in court on January 28.

This is Pepaw Rip's third DUI in the past five years.

I think it's time Pepaw Rip keeps the good times at home where the floor doesn't constantly move and the Werther's Originals are a'flowin!

And I've got the sads, because we don't have a new mug shot from Rip. I'm guessing it looks just like the one above, but he's wearing a jolly Santey Claus hat instead!

Matt Dillon didn't want Charles Barkley and Doug Wilson (see below) to have all the fun, so he got himself arrested too! Matt decided to switch things up and not get busted for DUI. He got nailed for speeding instead.

44-year-old Matty was stopped by police last night for driving 106 mph on I-91 in Newbury, Vermont where the speed limit is 65. If dumb fuck Matt was going 80 or 90, the police dude probably just would have given him a ticket and allowed him to go on his way. But since Matt decided to play Days of Thunder, he was handcuffed and charged with driving like a lunatic (aka as Pulling A Hogan). They let him go a little while later.

106? Did he have diarrhea coming out of his ass? What was he in such a rush to get to in Vermont? Maybe he couldn't wait to visit the Ben & Jerry's factory? If so, then I forgive him, because that place is delicious.

Well, at least Matt reminded the world he was still alive by getting arrested. I think I forgot he existed. And he does give good mug shot. A little wink and a pout would have been sexier, but this would works too.

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