Kimbo Stewart

You know Marilyn Manson ordered Evan Rachel Wood to scour the vintage stores and replicate Dita Von Teese's outfit or else! If she doesn't do it, she'll have to sleep in the coffin again.

Here's Dita looking like Lovey Howell as she tried to avoid the sun at the Coachella yesterday.

Dita recently said that she does whatever it takes to keep her baby powder skin from getting tan. She said, "I never go sunbathing. My worst fear is looking down and seeing brown, wrinkly cleavage. It will get white and wrinkly, but there is no need to rush it. I pack vitamins to stop the sun doing anything to me. Some foods accelerate tanning, so I'm very careful about what I eat." Damn. The woman has dedication. I get up, go piss, put on some sweats and call it a day. Dita probably spends 2 hours picking her outfit and then another 2 hours picking out shit to eat that won't tan her skin.

Below are some other twats at Coachella including Sienna Miller, Kelly Osbourne, Kimbo Stewart and Melanie Griffith. They don't hold a candle to Dita's glamour!

Is it just me or does Melanie look like she's suffering from cokey mouth?

What the fuck! Looks like Posh and Chrissy's faces smashed into eachother at 100 miles an hour and this is the result! Want to know what happens when you fall asleep with gum in your mouth? Exhibit A: Kimbo Stewart. Silly bitch must have had a full mouth of bubble tape and passed out because she hacked off huge hanks of her manky mane. Wear a hat next time bitch or G.I. Jane that shit!

Here's Kimbo leaving Radio 1 looking like total shit after doing Vernon Kay's show. THANK GOD it was radio and not TV.

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Fug alert! A lovely picture of woof woof Kimbo arriving at the 2007 Glamour Women of the Year Awards in London last night. How the hell did she get invited to this thing?? Her ugly ass has no business being there. Does she even work? By the way, this dress is hideous. She looks like a q-tip, or going to a slutty 80's prom. Then again fuglies should wear fugly things. So it's perfect on her.

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