Olsens
Friday, November 16th 2007
Lance Is Not Boinking A Troll
Lance Armstrong has denied that he's dating Ashley Olsen. It's been rumored that the nut and the troll have been getting down and dirty.
He told Page Six they are just friends, "We have hung out amongst other friends, and she strikes me as a nice, smart lady."
Lance's ex, Sheryl Crow, also responded to the rumors that she thought Lance dating a troll was gross. The horse's mouth said, "Lance and I are friends. I have a lot of respect for him and what he does in the world of cancer. What he does in his personal life . . . is none of my business. Nor would I ever comment on it."
Bitch please! You know you thought it was gross. We all did! Go gallop into the sunset now. I'm through with you and your lies.
ShareThis
Wednesday, November 14th 2007
Bring A Troll To School Day
I'm just going to get right to it. Radar reports that one of Lance Armstrong's 6-year-old twin daughters brought Ashley Olsen to "show and tell." Yes, the little girl showed off daddy's new girlfriend at her Texas school. A source said that "celebrities do this all time"
When Lance was dating Tory Burch, her son brought him to show and tell at his Upper East Side Manhattan school.
Those rich kids are so weird.
I brought an elderly turtle to my show and tell. I guess that's just like bringing an Olsen. Shit, I could've told my classmates that it was Ashley Olsen and they would've believed me.
Thursday, November 8th 2007
Keep On! Keep On!
Ashley Olsen's little thing with Lance Armstrong seems to be going somewhere. That somewhere is the SoHo House in NYC. UsWeekly reports that the two lovetrolls are shacking up there.
Friends of Ashley are apparently warning her not to get too comfortable since Lance might be going through a "mid-life crisis." The two have 15 years between them.
It could be worse for Ash. She could be dating Bob Saget, because you know he's probably tried.
I bet you she's shorter than his 6-year-old twins.
Wednesday, October 31st 2007
Ashley's Older Dude
36-year-old Lance Armstrong recently split up from designer Tory Burch and it looks like he's traded up. Lance showed up to the Rose Bar in NYC on Monday night with 21-year-old Ashley Olsen. Witnesses told Page Six that the two were making out all night.
"They came together with a group of friends. Ashley drank red wine, sat on his lap and they were making out all night. They left together around 2 a.m."
Ash is only 21. Everyone should spend their 20s slutting it up. Get in, get on, get off and get out! Lance is a hot piece of man meat, so she should suck that one nut and then move on.
Although, watching her make out with Lance Armstrong would probably freak me out for a while. But it is Halloween!
Tuesday, October 30th 2007
Mariah?
Leave it an Olsen to actually wear a good costume for Halloween. Ashley Olsen dressed as Marie Antoinette for Kate Hudson's Halloweenie bash this past weekend.
The dude she's posing with above is Marc Jacob's boyfriend, Jason Preston. Now....is that a Mariah tattoo I see before me? I don't know the ins and outs of Jason Preston, but I'm going to take a guess and say that tattoo is Mariah for Mariah Carey. Mimi's #1 lamb!
He already has a Marc Jacobs tattoo and a Thundercats tattoo and now a Mariah tattoo? He's a walking Times Square billboard!
MKandAshFan VIA ONTD
Thursday, October 18th 2007
Give Us A Smile, Just Once
What am I saying?! This bitch doesn't have to smile. She's Ashley Olsen! She's perfect no matter what. Hellraiser shoes and all.
Here's Ash with Christian Louboutin at his party last night in Hollywood.
Wednesday, October 10th 2007
You With The Crazy Eyes
Amy Wino and her extra-creepy husband came out to support their pals, the Olsens, at Harvey Nichols last night in London. The Olsens were there to launch their new fashion line "The Row" which is short for "Super Expensive Troll Crap."
What the hell do those three talk about anyway? Pills, right? Yeah, pills. Pills and folk tales, because crackheads love folk tales for some reason.
I'm waiting for the day Wino and Brit cross paths. Their love of McDonald's will bring them together one day.
Monday, October 8th 2007
Indecent!!!
I love the Olsens more than I love my own poop, but there's just certain things I don't want to know about them. The Olsen in sexy action is one of them. Page Six is reporting that Mary-Kate Olsen was seen making out with a dude at Clube Le Baron in Paris.
A witness said that "the tall fellow pushed the pint-sized twin up against the wall and furiously made out with her to applause from the crowd. Olsen and her man even got a standing ovation from her table when she wrapped her legs around the guy."
Those people weren't giving a standing ovation! They were standing, because they were all running for the toilet! Trolls should keep their intimate relations private! Don't they have tree trunks they can do that sort of thing in?!
Wednesday, September 12th 2007
Pippi Longtroll
Harper's Bazaar needed to stop at the cover. Mary-Kate Olsen is the magazine's cover next month and bitch looks hot on the cover, but they truly effed her up with that mop of orange polyester. Lauren Hutton is like "it's come to this Lauren...it's come to this..."
VIA ICYDK
Tuesday, September 11th 2007
And The Emmy Goes To.......
Mary-Kate Olsen makes her debut on Showtime's Weeds next week and the Emmy voters better take note. MK plays some Christian chick who smokes weed.
It's weird seeing MK speak! That's like a trip in itself. Talking dolls!
I also love how bitch isn't even trying. She doesn't give a fuck! For the win!
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