Ashlee Simpson

This Hurts

It paaaaains me to say. Asshole Simpson actually looks pretty here. FUCK! I'm going to heaven now! Dammit! I have to say something awful about her. Something! I'm sure you guys will come up with something, because you're way more hateful than me. Sort of.

Ok, she still has a Jay Leno chin. She needs to take a chainsaw to that hunk. Ok phew. I'm still going to hell. Yay!

Oh yeah, this is that UsWeekly thing AGAIN and no they aren't paying me.

Posted by: Michael K

80 comments •

Ashlee Simpson

JessLee

It's cute when sister dress like themselves at a young age, but come on. Ashlee Simpson was known for being like the "faux-rock" chick of the Simpson clan and now she's turning into a mini-Jessica. I blame Papa Joe for this. He wants both his daughter's to look like porn stars.

Here's Jessica...I mean Ashlee in Harper's Bazaar.

Posted by: Michael K

53 comments •

Ashlee Simpson • Jessica Simpson

Shampoo Shortage

Ashlee Simpson's in the Big Fat Apple and she attended the opening of Runway Lounge with May Anderson last night. May is currently banging Kid Rock. Yeah, by choice. She's not related to Pamela either.

All these girls need is a little wash and rinse and everything will be OK. No matter what you say, I will never think ASShole is purty.

Posted by: Michael K

46 comments •

Ashlee Simpson

Ass Twins

Asslee Simpson and Pete Wentz spent their Saturday night making others barf by "canoodling" at Parc in L.A. The two cozied up in a private booth where witnesses say they spent the night gazing into each other's eyes and snuggling. SUCIO! That would make me really uncomfortable. Kind of like watching a duck sink into a pool of tar.

A source said, "They definitely weren't hiding the fact that they were together. They were making out a lot and they were pretty intense."

Does Asslee have to kiss sideways since her chin probably gets in the way? These douches belong together. Keep the douch in the family.

Source: People

Posted by: Michael K

59 comments •

Ashlee Simpson

Ashlee Simpson is Not Herself

Everytime I look at Ashlee Simpson I see a fugly girl trying so hard to be sexy and gorge. It ain't going to happen! Besides the coat is fighting her for the fug.

Recently, Ashlee gave a "thumbs up" to her sister's new romance to John Mayer. A source said, "Ashlee loves John. She thinks he is great for her. More importantly, Jess is happy."

Here's Ashlee with shitwater blonde hair at Parc last night in Los Angeles.

Source

Posted by: Michael K

41 comments •

Ashlee Simpson • Jessica Simpson

The Freaks Come Out at Night

Tyra, Tyra, Tyra....now you wonder why people make fun of your FAT ASS. Well, it's because you show up to parties looking like Stevie Nicks on crack. Tyra looked like a straight-up at H.A.M at Clive Davis' party for the Grammy Awards last night. I think there's more hair on her eyes than in her weave. MESS.

Xtina needs to stop!!!! She dresses like she's going to a 40s-themed murder mystery dinner! Come to 2007 sweetie....it isn't hard!

Ashlee Simpson spent a lot of time and money getting her face fixed, but chose to ignore her avalanche chin. I mean that thing makes Jay Leno's look like an ant farm. That being said, she's slowly becoming the hotter Simpson sister. There's something seriously wrong in this world when things like this happen.

Below is Vanessa Manillafolders with some douche and the hotness that is Rihanna. She really can do no wrong.

Posted by: admin

1 comment •

Ashlee Simpson • Christina Aguilera • Rihanna • Tyra Banks

Ken Paves Did This?!

Asshole Simpson and Jessica must share broke weaves, because they are rocking the same burnt out polyester rug! Ken Paves is proud of this? The two spent some sibling time during dinner and even shared the same red lipstick. Papa Joe likes his girls with red lips, both uptown and downtown.

Posted by: admin

87 comments •

Ashlee Simpson • Jessica Simpson

I'm Not Calling Ashlee Simpson Fat, But....

*image removed by request*

Ashlee Simpson let her lady lumps breathe in Hawaii over the past weekend and although she's not a lard ass, she looks a little....thick. Ok not thick...she looks a little....chunky. Ok not chunky...she looks a little...wobbly. Ok, she looks gross.

Source

Posted by: admin

231 comments •

Ashlee Simpson

Daisy Gets Around

Ashlee Simpson dogsat Jessica Simpson's Daisy the other day and took the poor thing on a little shopping trip with a mystery dude. Not sure who his ass is, but he's hot. Poor Daisy can't catch a break. She is shuffled from one moron to another.

In other Ashlee Simpson news. The piece of trash recently moved and found out that she had so many designer outfits that she hadn't even worn. So what did she do? She gave them all to her maid! So now her cleaning lady can wash her dishes and soap up her windows wearing Marc Jacbos and stupid t-shirts that say "Team Myself" from Kitson. A friend said that Ashlee is so thrilled that she can help another person out. Oh yeah, real generous. Ashlee is a regular Mother Effin Theresa.

Source

Posted by: admin

53 comments •

Animal Stories • Ashlee Simpson

Papa Love

AssHo Simpson brought her new man to the AMAs last night. Aren't they a hot couple? Seriously, does this skank own a brush? She needs to brush that weave and then set fire to it. While she's at it, she needs to brush the crabs from her chocha that she caught from her papi.