Ashlee Simpson

Asshole Simpson performed at LAX last night and brought Pete Wentz along, because they are joined at the flat-ironed head. Yeah, she performed. She's still doing that music thing even though everybody has basically turned her off. You can't keep a no-talent fug down! Papa Joe is persistent.

Asshole and Pete are really growing on me as a couple like a bad corn on my big toe. A couple that flat irons together, stays together. They look like all they do is giggle like two Japanese school girls. They only giggle, because they basically have nothing to say to each other. That's the recipe of a wonderful relationship.

Now I have to go rest up for the 10-hour Oscar telecast.

Asshole Simpson isn't so bad on the outside now that she's gotten done up from the floor up. The new red hair does her some good. It goes nicely with her fake nose and tits. I'm surprised she hasn't taken that chin in yet. Well, if you're going to get some work, you might as well get the works.

Here's Ass with flat-ironed Pete at the Cloverfield premiere last night.

Asshole Simpson has a new video for her single "Outta My Head (Ay Ya Ya)." Seriously, that's the title. The video is probably something Gwen Stefani would make if she had no money, no talent, a lot of free time, a couple of camcorders and a friend that knows iMovie really well. Basically, it sucks and now I can't get that wretched song outta my...outta my....FUCK!