Ashlee Simpson

Tyra, Tyra, Tyra....now you wonder why people make fun of your FAT ASS. Well, it's because you show up to parties looking like Stevie Nicks on crack. Tyra looked like a straight-up at H.A.M at Clive Davis' party for the Grammy Awards last night. I think there's more hair on her eyes than in her weave. MESS.

Xtina needs to stop!!!! She dresses like she's going to a 40s-themed murder mystery dinner! Come to 2007 sweetie....it isn't hard!

Ashlee Simpson spent a lot of time and money getting her face fixed, but chose to ignore her avalanche chin. I mean that thing makes Jay Leno's look like an ant farm. That being said, she's slowly becoming the hotter Simpson sister. There's something seriously wrong in this world when things like this happen.

Below is Vanessa Manillafolders with some douche and the hotness that is Rihanna. She really can do no wrong.

Asshole Simpson and Jessica must share broke weaves, because they are rocking the same burnt out polyester rug! Ken Paves is proud of this? The two spent some sibling time during dinner and even shared the same red lipstick. Papa Joe likes his girls with red lips, both uptown and downtown.

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Ashlee Simpson let her lady lumps breathe in Hawaii over the past weekend and although she's not a lard ass, she looks a little....thick. Ok not thick...she looks a little....chunky. Ok not chunky...she looks a little...wobbly. Ok, she looks gross.

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Ashlee Simpson dogsat Jessica Simpson's Daisy the other day and took the poor thing on a little shopping trip with a mystery dude. Not sure who his ass is, but he's hot. Poor Daisy can't catch a break. She is shuffled from one moron to another.

In other Ashlee Simpson news. The piece of trash recently moved and found out that she had so many designer outfits that she hadn't even worn. So what did she do? She gave them all to her maid! So now her cleaning lady can wash her dishes and soap up her windows wearing Marc Jacbos and stupid t-shirts that say "Team Myself" from Kitson. A friend said that Ashlee is so thrilled that she can help another person out. Oh yeah, real generous. Ashlee is a regular Mother Effin Theresa.

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AssHo Simpson brought her new man to the AMAs last night. Aren't they a hot couple? Seriously, does this skank own a brush? She needs to brush that weave and then set fire to it. While she's at it, she needs to brush the crabs from her chocha that she caught from her papi.

Asshole Simpson wore spider lashes to the 10th Anniversary of Chicago on Broadway last night in NYC. Ass took part in the concert where she recreated the role of Roxie Hart which she recently played in London. Ugh, I hate to say it..I really really hate to say it...like REALLY hate to say it...but she looks not that ugly. UGH, I'm going to cut myself for this! Damn you Ken Paves!