George Clooney

This has to be some sort of record. George Clooney is still dating Sarah Larson and now he's moving her in. The National Enquirer reports 46-year-old Georgie has asked 29-year-old Sarah to move in to his Hollywood Hills home. Bitch hit the jackpot, because Sarah was working as a cocktail waitress in Vegas when she met him. She went to Vegas and won big.

George has also moved Sarah into his Manhattan apartment and given her credit cards. What a lucky cunt. Now all she needs to do is get knocked up! Trust me it's coming. I can feel it in my loins.

A source said, “Sarah is always with George anyway, so it just makes sense. Plus he likes having her around. She has made him very happy and doesn’t stress him out. She’s easygoing and loving, and that’s what he needs right now.”

That's right Sarah. Stay calm, don't complain, don't ruffle any feathers and keep your eye on the prize. Actually, is Sarah even real? She looks like a wax figure. No wonder they have lasted so long.

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I'm waiting for the day that I hear "George Clooney's girlfriend is pregnant." It's coming. Sarah Larson is looking at me in that picture like, "Yeah, I got this." She better, because Georgie doesn't keep the girls around for long. Homegirl better be sticking holes in the condoms or fish them out of the trash can and freeze that sperm. Sarah's a mannequin, but I know she can get knocked up.

Here's George and his love wax figure girlfriend at the National Board of Review Awards in NYC last night.

George Clooney was without his wax figure girlfriend, Sarah Larson, at the Critics' Choice Awards last night. He's probably over her ass. That bitch can't commit. I mean he obviously can't commit to a toothpaste either. Look at those teefs! Anyway, George has reportedly asked his director friend, Steven Soderbegh, to cast Sarah in his new movie.

Georgie doesn't want to be in the movie, but thinks Sarah would be great in it. A source told InTouch, "George thinks Sarah could be a huge star. That's why he's helping her with her career."

No....George is setting Sarah up, because he's ready to dump her ass. A Clooney girlfriend has an expiration date and Sarah's is coming up.

Here's Georgie on the red carpet last night with Eddie Izzard. Eddie makes a better date than Sarah anyway.

Images: Wenn

Brad Pitt and George Clooney made fun of the whole Larry Craig shit at American Cinematheque's tribute to Julia Roberts which aired last night on AMC. Julia won like the most annoying person in Hollywood award or something. Anyway, George couldn't be there so he taped a segment in the men's room. He's interrupted by a little toe-tappin' from Brad Pitt. They are sooooo funny, NOT. The next Laurel & Hardy. Like Georgie doesn't know what toe-tappin' is! He knows the routine and can probably do a few encores for you.

The lighting also doesn't work well for Brad. George should have kept that stall door closed.

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