George Clooney

Sarah Larson is addicted to "Rock of Love." I knew she was one of those classy call girls and not the trashy kind. Sarah said that when she fucked herself up in a motorcycle accident, she glued herself to marathons of the show. She even got George Clooney addicted.

She told Harper's Bazaar, "We caught ourselves rooting for someone or getting frustrated. And we were like, 'This is sad.'" Sad?! Sarah probably knows half of those twats from working the ho stroll with them. Sarah would be on Rock of Love if she wasn't licking Clooney taint.

Sarah's biggest credit is being a contestant on Fear Factor, but she said she would not have dated George if he was also a reality star. "If George had been on a reality show, I don't think I'd have talked to him. It would have been like, 'That's nice.' "I don't know. He still wants to date me, and I ate a scorpion." That's exacty why he did choose her, because if she'll put a scorpion in her mouth, she'll put anything in her mouth. Georgie totally likes it dirty. That being said, Sarah is turning out to be one of the smartest hos in Hollywood.

Here's Sarah at some event for Giorgio Armani the other night. Last year, Sarah was probably getting groped by Giorgio the bus boy at the bar she worked at and now she's clicking champagne glasses with Giorgio Armani.

Seeing new pictures of Sarah Larson with George Clooney still surprise me. I'm waiting for him to send her back to the Bunny Ranch or wherever the hell he found her. All I know is that this is going to be a major bill for George Clooney. Sarah Larson doesn't come cheap! Vivian Ward, eat your hooker heart out!

What Sarah needs to do is stop fucking around and get with the gold digging program already! The bitch needs to get knocked up or go home!

The Clooney and his lovely Sarah celebrated his 47th Birthday last night in NYC. 47? He doesn't look a day under 60! That being said, I'd let him cum in my ear. It's probably like porridge though, because that's what pepaw sperm is like. So I've heard....

George Clooney is once again talking about Brangie. George is the world's #1 Brangaloonie.

Georgie told Heat Magazine that hanging around Brad and Angie's 10 thousand kids makes him not want to have children of his own. "Even one kid running around my villa makes me nervous, so I'm definitely not a candidate for father of the year! If I need to surround myself with children and feel like I have this big extended family, I can always call Brad and Angie and ask them to stay with me, just to remind me why I'm so happy without."

Although, he won't be asking them to stay with him in Italy this Summer. "I really don't have enough space for all their children. Also, Brad and Angelina need a security deal of about 20 guys wearing dark suits and carrying walkie-talkies, and that tends to attract attention."

Screaming children don't bother me. That's what cupboards, duct tape and booze are for. I use those things on myself! Not the children! What do you take me for?

George just needs to chop his nuts off already. He's made it loud and clear that he doesn't want any babies. Get the snip, because Sarah Larson is setting her trap.

Source

Sarah Larson talks! And she talked to the Las Vegas Review Journal about the night she met her meal ticket, George Clooney. Sarah said she first met eyes with George a while ago, "It was on his birthday three or four years ago at Whiskey at [Vegas's] Green Valley Ranch." She served cocktails at the joint at the time and had a boyfriend.

A few years later, George came to Vegas for the Ocean's Thirteen premiere and started asking around for her. Sarah said they "hung out" and the rest is history.

Asking around for her?! More like he called up the escort agency and asked for their top shelf robot.

Sarah quit her job as a cocktail waitress and recently signed with a Los Angeles based modeling agency. She said Georgie is supportive of her career, "Your boyfriend better be. If they aren't, you gotta kick 'em in the butt and walk away."

Oh please! This bitch is acting like she's the one buying her own ten thousand dollar dresses and flying herself to Italy. Homegirl is sucking Clooney's ass lips for a luxurious lifestyle and there's nothing wrong with that, but be honest. I bet Clooney's ass lips taste like duck!

I still can't get over the fact that she actually talked during this interview. That's going to cost Clooney extra.

George Clooney does not google his own name, because he lives in fear of what angry anonymous people have to say about him. Oh, I'd say it to his face. After we made out, of course.

Georgie said, "A few years ago, I went to check out this website that someone had talked about. There's like, a thousand people sitting in dark rooms trashing you. Brutal! You're like, 'Wow, dude'. You see way too many angry people on the internet. I remember getting off the machine and thinking, 'Never, ever again'. I'd rather live in my own happy, quiet world where I think that everyone is nice."

I'M NOT FUCKING ANGRY ASSHOLE! NOW DIE!!! And I'm not in a dark room by choice! They don't allow open windows in the institution for some reason. Don't ask me why? Oooh...it's meds time!

Here's some pics of gorgeous George (see, we can be nice) and Squinty at the Leatherheads premiere in London tonight.

George Clooney and his mostly-mute call girl, Sarah Larson, attended the premiere of "Leatherheads" in Los Angeles last night. Sarah Larson also posed alone on the red carpet!

Uh oh...she's starting to let go of the Clooney on the red carpet. I see that glimmer in her eye. Well, it could be Clooney sperm from the limo ride, but I think it's her hunger for fame. Next thing you know she'll be playing "escort," "call girl" and "stripper" in every B-movie from Los Angeles to Berlin.

Sarah, don't let the hunger for fame fuck you in the ass. Stick with the plan. Don't do it in the ass, because you can't get pregnant that way. Do it in the front, get knocked up, get married and endless fortune is yours forever.

I'm wasting my keystrokes on this chick. She wants fame... A good gold digger is so hard to find.

Star Magazine found some pictures of George Clooney's newest call girl girlfriend, Sarah Larson, acting all slutty in Vegas last year. That's what you do when you're in Vegas. You act slutty, drink till your liver falls out and eat until your throat gets raw.

Before Sarah was wearing couture and sucking Clooney dick, she was working in Vegas.

A friend said, "She's even been described as having a successful runway and print modeling career. But until recently, her modeling career consisted mostly of being paid by promoters for clubs, magazines and radio stations to attend special events in sexy outfits and party with her wild girlfriends!"

Click here to see another picture of Sarah with her ass in the air and licking a magazine. I did that same pose for my Christmas card last year. When asked about the pictures, her friend said, "That's our Sarah! She's not shy in the slightest. She loves hamming it up and is never embarrassed. That's the Sarah everyone in Vegas remembers, not the girl dressed in Valentino minding her manners for the cameras with George at the Oscars!"

That's our Sarah! We're used to seeing her being a slutty whore not a Valentino-clad lady!

I love Sarah, because she gives hope to all the dirty sluts out there. Including you and me. Today, I may be drowning in my own tears after a night of lubed-up debauchery, but tomorrow I could be walking down the red carpet with George Clooney. And by "George Clooney" I mean Phoebe Price. And by "red carpet" I mean Robertson Blvd.

George Clooney's mute girl toy, Sarah Larson, walked in the Ashley Paige show for L.A. fashion week yesterday. Sarah shouldn't bother with this sort of thing. She's Clooney's kept girl and should spend her days figuring out how she's going to get knocked up. Shit like this is doing nothing for her future. Think about it. Instead of walking down some runway wearing this shit, she could've been home punching holes in all the condoms or replacing her birth control pills with Tic-Tacs. This gold digger has so much to learn.

The make-up artist royally messed up. The eyebrows needed to be darker and thinner. They should've lost the dark lipstick completely, but only kept the dark lip liner. Chola beauty needs to hit the mainstream already! I expect all you chicks out there to throw out your lipsticks and pick up the Sharpie. You owe it to the future of beauty.

Someone needs to tell Sarah Larson that she needs to get knocked up first and then get married. That's the Hollywood way. It's been reported that George Clooney has finally asked Sarah to marry him. The two started dating last year when Sarah served Georgie drinks at an event in Las Vegas. Since then she's quit her $200,000 a year job and is traveling with George full-time. She was a cocktail waitress and making that much money? More like a COCK and tail waitress.

Sources say the two will tie the knot at Georgie's Lake Como, Italy home this Summer. A source said, "They haven’t made any announcement yet, but there are people in this town who know more than me. They say the couple are already engaged."

People from Sarah's past have already started writing about her on a blog called MonsterFresh. They have posted Sarah's hilarious high school pictures. Unfortunately, there's nothing really juicy. Sarah seems nice and normal. Dammit! I want to hear the juicy escort stories about how she strapped on for her johns. I know those stories exist!

George Clooney's interview in the new Esquire is actually pretty entertaining and I hate reading that kind of crap. A.J. Jacobs interviews George and they talk about everything from his beef with Fabio to "2 Girls, 1 Cup" to all the gay rumors about him. For the most of the interview they go through the internet to find out what people are saying about The Clooney.

on Fabio beating him up:

"Yeah, that's probably true. He's a big guy. There is a moment when you are actually in the argument and you're thinking, 'If I do get beaten down by Fabio, that will be far worse than the pain. I wouldn't shake that."

on a website calling him gay, gay, gay:

"No, I'm gay, gay. The third gay – that was pushing it."

on Rupert Everett saying the Ocean's movies were cancer:

"Where did that come from? You kind of go, Dude, weren't you in Dunston Checks in?"

Then the conversation gets into 2 Girls, 1 Cup. Georgie tells a story about how a friend told him to look up this YouTube video of a monkey smelling his ass and then passing out. A.J. then asks Georgie if he's ever seen 2 Girls, 1 Cup. Georgie insists the dude show it him. The dude tells George that it might scar him forever, but George doesn't care.

They finally watch it and after a few seconds George says, "It's not that bad." A few seconds later he shouts, “Oh, my GOD! Oh, my God!! Oh, my God!” and runs from the room. George's PR dude then wants to get in on the action and says he can last longer than George did. PR dude lasts 3 seconds.

Oh please George! Don't act like you've never taken a load of shit to the mouth before. I'm sure that's how he got his role on "Facts of Life." I would definitely eat fake poo for George Clooney. They are totally eating fake poo in 2 Girls! Come on.

Sarah Larson better thank the heavens every day. A year ago she was serving Jello shots to douchebags in Las Vegas and now she's fucking George Clooney.

You can see more pictures and parts of the interview at Celebitchy