Pamela Anderson

Pamela Anderson and Jacko are dating. You're probably not ready the rest of this, because you just sprayed your Diet Rite all over the monitor. For those of you that are still with me, let's go on.

Yes, the Daily Mirror claims Pammy and Jacko have always been big fans of each other. So they got their people to set something up. The date took place at the Ice Bar in Hell. No, it took place at Shutters in Santa Monica. The source said they had a few drinks at the bar together. They serve Jesus Juice at Shutters?

A witness who obviously didn't take their medication that morning said Pam and Jacko talked about their love of plastic surgery. Ha. The witness went on to say, "They were very chatty. Pamela was being her usual flirty self and Michael seemed to be responding. They are such a strange couple but they seemed to really hit it off."

Jacko and Pammy even went out a second time. Another source said they had coffee in Malibu where they talked about their kids.

Methinks these "sources" need to ask their doctor to change the dose on their medication. If Pammy and Jacko went on a date, we would know for sure, because the world would end. The day they touch lips is the day we all disappear in a cloud of smoke.

I mean, maybe these "sources" saw Cher and Alexis Arquette on a date? Now that's a believable couple!

The phrase "rode hard and put away wet" was created for Pamela Anderson. Old girl needs to soak in a hot bath of Oxiclean, Pine-Sol, paint remover and Lime-A-Way. I know experts tell you not to mix chemicals, but Pamela's case is an emergency! After her bath, Mr. Sandman needs to drop a fucking sandbox on her head so she can take a 2-month nap!

I see what Pamela is trying to do, though. She's trying to recreate Shauna Sand's elegant beauty on her own haggard face. I mean, she's not even wearing exquisite lucite heels. EPIC FAIL!

Here's more of Pamela looking like a day-shift stripper on the bad shit while promoting her reality show in Australia.

Pamela Anderson was reportedly back with Tommy Lee, but she later brushed it off by saying she's just "living" with him while her house "gets built." There's a vagina rejuvenation joke in there somewhere. Anywhore, Pammy might be telling the truth, because E!'s Marc Malkin claims she has a new man.

This isn't just any new man, he's apparently royalty. She's a royal whore, so they make a perfect couple. The mystery dude is a member of Abu Dhabi's royal family. Pammy met him while visiting Abu Dhabi last June. She also announced that she's working with the royal family to build an ecofriendly bordello in the area. Okay, they're building a hotel. We say whore house, she says hotel.

Pammy and her new dude were seen out in West Hollywood this past weekend. She calls him Milk-Sheik, or Milk for short. Well, hopefully she's going to milk that dude for all he's worth. He sounds like he cums money.

She needs to marry that dude. I normally wouldn't advise that to a skank who has been married more times than she can count (seriously, she can't count that high), but she has to marry him without a prenup. Once she gets his money and leaves him, she'll have to join the witness protection program, but that's ok! She can cover her safe house in gold and diamonds.

It would be pretty difficult for Tommy Lee to give up meat when he looks at a delicious, juicy tube steak every day. Tommy recently tried to become a vegetarian after he got back together with Pamela for the ten millionth time. It didn't really work out for him.

He said,"There's been two times now, where I've driven by In-N-Out (burger chain) and I'm like, `Pull the damn car over, I need a triple-triple (burger), dude.'"

Why did he have to say those beautiful words?! In-N-Out is main reason why I could never become a vegetarian! Every since I declared my undying love for their pieces of heaven in a bun, meanie readers have sent me pictures of themselves devouring double-doubles whole. Taunting me! Well, you know what West Coasters? You may have the food of the gods, but us East Coasters have....um...we...have...Cluck-U-Chicken? Okay, you guys win.

You know, I've always wondered why strict-vegan Pamela always goes back to The Meat aka Tommy Lee. Well, I know WHY she goes back to him, but I would think that the "meat eating" thing is a deal breaker for her.

I've heard that some vegans will only do other vegans, because meat eaters smell gross. I personally don't give an eff if I smell like Wonky McValtrex's smegma as long as I get to eat a delicious cheeseburger! And I'd totally eff with a vegan. I'm an equal opportunity slut. Shit, doing a vegan might be better for my health.

Source

Peta's favorite whore, Pamela Anderson, visited a KFC in Vancouver yesterday to eat one of their sandwiches. KFC Canada has introduced a fake chicken sammy that's mostly made out of soy. That shit isn't completely vegetarian because they are fried in the same oil as real chicken pieces. That's probably why it sort of tastes like chicken.

Pamela is also queefing over the fact that KFC Canada has promised to treat their chickens humanely. Pammy said, "It's very Canadian of them. Very forward thinking. I'm very proud Canada KFC was the first to do it. Hopefully everyone else follows suit."

Please tell me this was all a prank pulled by KFC! Please tell me Pamela Anderson is sinking her skank teeth into a real fucking chicken. This is the only time I pray for Ashton Kutcher to pop out and tell that bitch she's just been punk'd.

Pammy Anderson is currently in Australia infecting the Big Brother house, but she's also managed to stage a protest at a local KFC. This is pretty fucking funny, because KFC is a major sponsor of BB. Pammy and some other Peta hos hand delivered a letter to the HBIC of KFC Australia earlier today. The letter said:

I've been in Australia filming Big Brother, in which my housemates and I are confined and sealed off from the outside world, much like the chickens who are crammed inside barns for KFC. Fortunately, I won't be stomped to death, have my legs broken or be scalded to death in a tank of hot water—yet, as PETA's undercover videos have revealed, the chickens raised for KFC's restaurants in Australia often suffer these abuses.

Hmmm...KFC. FUCK! I've already made a million promises from readers that I would not eat KFC anymore, but I seriously miss their sides. Their coleslaw.....their potato wedges.....their biscuits...Ugh. I'm getting hungry. I'll go chew on some cardboard and grass instead. Or I'll just go to Popeye's! It's not the same, but it will do.

And Pammy also needs to stop the eyebrow abuse. She cannot pull off cholita glamour. No way.

In other dirty chocha news, Pammy has admitted to being back with Tommy Lee and his dick of destruction. She said, "We are great friends, we are a package deal, that's for sure. I am spending a lot of time with him this summer... We enjoy spending time together... It's just one of those things. He is the father of your kids and you can't get rid of them."

Uh...huh...Bitch just needs to tell the truth and say, "Tommy's big ass dick is the only thing that doesn't get completely lost in my loosey pussay."

Pamela Anderson entered the Big Brother Australia house today and kissed the floor with her chocha lips before she entered. It totally took a couple of cranes to get that bitch off the ground. Her chocha is like a Dyson and didn't want to let go.

Pammy wouldn't say how much money she's getting paid to be on BB for a few days, but she said it was "a lot" and "much more than I'm worth." She can say that again.

She also said that she's heard about Big Brother, but "we don't have it in America." Umm....well...there's this one show called "Big Brother" and it begins its 10th season here in America. Now, I don't know if they are related, but.... Yeah, Pam has jizz for brains.

Pam was also planning to stage a huge KFC protest for Peta, but was told by reporters that KFC is a major sponsor of Big Brother Australia. She responded, "Well, you know, I didn't know that KFC had anything to do with the show." Errrr...obviously.

Pam has already entered the house. Click here to see tons of video of her mess on the show. Can they just lock the doors and keep her quarantined there forever? We're done with her. She's all yours, Australia! Crikey!

Thanks Stacey

Pornstar and overall haggard skank, Pamela Anderson, had this to say about Jessica Simpson during a radio interview in Australia:

"I think she is a bitch and whore. "

Obviously, Pamela has never looked in the mirror and has never googled her whorey bitch ass! Pamela's kind word for Jessica were in response to Jessica wearing a "Real Girls Eat Meat" t-shirt. Peta's #1 jack-off partner went on to say, “Actually, I don't know if she was talking about food or men."

There's really only one way to settle this new feud: CAGE FIGHT! Nude cage fight with lots and lots of raw meat! And when I say "raw meat," I'm not talking about Jess and Pammy's coochies.

Source: The Sun

Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson are back together and giving their love another shit (typo, but keeping it). This is the 12,345th time they've tried to make it work, but who's counting?

Tommy told Rolling Stone, “Pamela and the kids have moved in with me. It’s awesome, man. It’s definitely working. You can tell on the kids’ faces — they’re happy when we’re together.”

They've both fucked everyone else in Hollywood, what's left to fuck? They should seriously just tie their genitals together and stay put! They are the hep love story of our time!

Romeo & Juliet, Antony & Cleopatra, King Arthur & Guinevere, Rhett & Scarlett and Pammy & Tommy. They totally fit.

Forget the question. Jacko is a wax figure! Homegirl is at least 80% wax and 20% artificial materials.

Those lips! Wack-O-Wax lips should be renamed Jack-O-Wax lips in his honor. I need to stop hating. Jacko is still the sharpest dressed lady in the business. Liza ain't got nothing on this bitch.

Jacko made a surprise appearance at Christian Audigier's tacky Birthday extravaganza last night. They really should have turned off all the lights before Jacko's ass came onstage. He could have melted!

Other guests at this classy affair included Pamela Anderson, Fuggie Fug and Mena Suvari. What the hell is on Mena's head?! I think I liked her better when she looked like a younger Hillary Clinton. Now she looks like an Ellen Degeneres/Portia de Rossi morph. She needs to dump the weave.