Award Shows
Saturday, January 5th 2008
Why Bother?
Here's pictures of little Rumer Willis picking out dresses for the Golden Globes on January 13th. Butterhead shouldn't waste her time. It looks like they won't be needing her services. The Screen Actors Guild have decided that they won't cross the Writers Guild picket lines and therefore won't be attending The Golden Globes. That means no stars which means that shit is going to be extra boring. NBC still plans to air the awards show, but why? There won't be anybody there.
The Hollywood Foreign Press Association said they will announce on Monday what they are going to do about the awards ceremony. Here's an idea...cancel it!
At least I won't have to look at Rumer for 3 damn hours. This was some sort of gift from the beauty Gods. I'm joking! Rumer is a gorgeous girl.....from the neck down......in the dark......during a hailstorm........with only one of my eyes working.
Images: Hello!
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Tuesday, December 18th 2007
The Most Boring Oscars Ever
I never would've never imagined the Oscars could take its bore factor to extreme levels. This year it will. The Writers Guild of America has denied waivers from both the Oscars and the Golden Globes. This means no prepared material is allowed for the Golden Globes. That's fine, because most of their jokes suck anyway. They are also not allowing the Oscars to show clips from movies or past Oscar ceremonies. It's unknown whether or not the Oscars asked the WGA for permission to allow host Jon Stewart to use previously written material.
The WGA issued this statement: "Writers are engaged in a crucial struggle to achieve a collective bargaining agreement that will protect their compensation and intellectual property rights now and in the future. We must do everything we can to bring our negotiations to a swift and fair conclusion for the benefit of writers and all those who are being harmed by the companies failure to engage in serious negotiations."
Yeah, so they can't even show clips from the nominated movies. Why bother! Just hold a damn luncheon at Long John Silver's and hand the awards out in the parking lot after the drawing and call it a day!
Source: EW.com
Thursday, December 13th 2007
Who's Boycotting The Golden Globes?
The Golden Globes could be extra boring this year, because a bunch of nominees have already said they will not attend if the writer's strike is still going on. They refuse to cross picket lines.
Katherine Heigl (nominated for Grey's): "I'm not crossing the picket line, not unless I'm contractually obliged to do, which, for the Golden Globes, I'm not."
James McAvoy (Atonement): “I don’t think I’d want to do that. It’s an environment I wouldn’t want to stick my nose into. I’m not from this country and for me to stick my nose and throw my small weight around wouldn’t be right.”
David Cronenberg (Eastern Promises): “It would be very hard for me to cross a WGA picket line. Everybody will have the same problem. It’s very unfornuate and an issue that won’t go away."
Glenn Close (Damages): “I would never cross a picket line.”
Jeremy Piven (Entourage): "I don’t know about whether or not I'll be attending because to be honest with you, I don’t know a lot about the rules and limitations of what is happening. I need to look into it. Writers are kind of these unsung heroes. People don’t see how much these guys work and they're just trying to cover their bases for themselves and for the future. I hope they get what they deserve and I'll do anything I can to help that."
Oh please, Jeremy Piven is so full of shit. He's probably trying to broker a deal with the Golden Globes that if they give him the award he'll show up.
They should just get Ellen Degeneres to accept and give away all the awards. She'll cross a picket line. A one-woman Golden Globes.
Oh shit! What about Rumer Willis as Miss Golden Globe?! End this strike now! I have to see Rumer humiliating herself on National TV.
Source: Variety
Thursday, December 13th 2007
Keira Knightley's Got Everyone Fooled!
No-talent Keira Knightley got a Golden Globe nomination today for that "Atonement" movie. The movie led the nominations with 7. That Keira Knightley is a magician. She's got everyone believing she can actually act! Pouting is not acting!
In the TV categories, The Sopranos was shut out of Best Drama and Best Actor for James Gandolfini. Ugly Betty also didn't get a Best TV Show nomination even though it won last year in that category. Here's some of the nominations:
Best Movie - Drama
American Gangster
Atonement
Eastern Promises
The Great Debaters
Michael Clayton
No Country For Old Men
There Will Be Blood
Best Actress - Drama
Cate Blanchett, Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Julie Christie, Away From Her
Jodie Foster, The Brave One
Angelina Jolie, A Mighty Heart
Keira Knightley, Atonement
Best Actor - Drama
George Clooney - Michael Clayton
Daniel Day-Lewis - There Will Be Blood
James McAvoy - Atonement
Viggo Mortensen - Eastern Promises
Denzel Washington - American Gangster
Best Movie - Comedy
Across The Universe
Charlie Wilson's War
Hairspray
Juno
Sweeney Todd
Best TV Show - Drama
Big Love
Damages
Grey's Anatomy
House
Mad Men
The Tudors
Best TV Show - Comedy
30 Rock
Californication
Entourage
Extras
Pushing Daisies
Other sluts to get a nomination include Nikki Blonsky (Hairspray), Amy Adams (Enchanted), Julia Roberts (Charlie Wilson's War), Ellen Page (Juno), Marion Cotillard (La Vie En Rose), Johnny Depp (Sweeney Todd), Ryan Gosling (Lars and the Real Girl) and John Travolta for Hairspray.
JOHN TRAVOLTA FOR HAIRSPRAY! He should get a nomination for Best Person to Single-Handedly Ruin a Movie!
Click here to see the rest of the nominations if you care
Thursday, December 6th 2007
They Didn't Forget Wino!
Amy Winehouse scored 6 Grammy nominations today including Best New Artist, Record of the Year, Album of the Year and Song of the Year. Kanye West topped with 8 nominations including Album of the Year.
Here's a few of the categories:
Record of the Year
Irreplaceable - Beyonce
The Pretender - Foo Fighters
Umbrella - Rihanna
What Goes Around...Comes Around - Justin Timberlake
Rehab - Amy Winehouse
Album of the Year
Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace - Foo Fighters
These Days - Vince Gill
River: The Joni Letters - Herbie Hancock
Graduation - Kanye West
Back to Black - Amy Winehouse
Song of the Year
Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood
Hey There Delilah - Plain White-T's
Like A Star - Corrine Bailey Rae
Rehab - Amy Winehouse
Umbrella - Rihanna
Best New Artist
Feist
Ledisi
Paramore
Taylor Swift
Amy Winhouse
Click here to see all the nominations
Where was Britney? Oh, that bitch is next year. I'm sure she'll sweep! Sweep the floors that is, because she'll need the extra cash.
Monday, November 19th 2007
I Don't Wanna Know About You!
WHY?!!!!! Beyonce joined Sugarland onstage at the AMAs last night for a country version of her song "Irreplaceable." My ear drums are irreplaceable Beyonce and you don't seem to care!
It was truly horrendous. It was like a bad "Saturday Night Live" skit starring Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph.
Although hearing that country bitch sing "you must not know about me" kind of made my night.
It was nice of Beyonce to recycle one of Bette Midler's old jackets from "Big Business." Beyonce thinks green.
Monday, November 19th 2007
A Stunning Alien
The Alien Princess, Rihanna, won something or maybe two things at the AMAs last night. I was falling asleep through most of that shit. However, I did manage to wake up and see this hot piece perform. She's like a moving wax figure. It's really strange. Strangely stunning. It's probably sort of scary to have a conversation with her.
It's like that old episode of "The Twilight Zone" where that bitch wakes up in a department store and finds all the mannequins alive and moving and shit. It would be like that.
Monday, November 19th 2007
I Hope You're On The Phone With Your Shrink.....
Celine "The Greatest Singer in the World!!!!" Dion dazzled us with her presence at the American Music Awards last night. I love seeing this crazy horse perform, because she turns it on. She's got moves and isn't afraid to use them. Las Vegas has really turned her into a trained performer and when I say "trained performer" I mean drag queen.
It's like Mr. Ed put on a wig, individual fake eyelashes, ten tons of make-up and could suddenly sing. That's Celine and I love her.
Wednesday, October 3rd 2007
I Was Expecting So Much More!!!
TMZ has the video of how Jonny Douchebag knocked his teeth out. It's all very anti-climactic. Jonny and Danny Bonaduce were presenting together at the Fox Reality Awards last night. The audience boos Jonny, he makes some joke and Danny starts walking away. Jonny beckons him back and then jumps on him and dry humps him like a retarded monkey. Danny throws him off and bam. That's how it happened. Yeah, not very interesting or exciting.
Jonny deserved it. Danny should've kicked him while he was down!
Monday, September 17th 2007
A Whole Lot Of Fake
Why did I watch the Emmys last night? That shit made the MTV VMAs look like the most exciting thing in the world. Reading Highlights magazine is more interesting. Actually, it really is. That magazine is hot shit.
Anyway, watching Xtina perform with Tony Bennett last night I thought to myself "Should a knocked up bitch really be standing on a piano in heels? Push her!" And then I thought to myself "How is Xtina going to deal with being all natural and shit?"
I mean knocked up hos should try and be as natural as possible. Xtina's world revolves around fake tanners, make-up and hair bleach. She needs to go natural bad. She looks like a Palm Beach retiree. The old slut in the retirement community that is always looking for dick that works.
Hopefully, she'll take my advice and bring out and get in touch with her inner granola. Probably not, she'll find a way to keep the fake.
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