Eva LongWHORIA

 

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker left LAX last night looking "in love." The two told photographers they were going on a romantic weekend alone. Barf. This is the most I've seen these two together since they were married. With all these cheating rumors going around, they sure are turning it up.

 

Eva also brought her little dog along for her romantic weekend with the hubby. You know that dog is like "Bitch please. You're gonna be spending more time cuddling up to me than your own husband. Lucky me!" 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eva LongWHORIA and Tony Parker kept a united front yesterday after they defended the accusations from a model named Alexandra Paressant who claims to be having an affair with Tony. Tony visited Eva on the set of her L'Oreal commercial during the day. Then at night Eva came to Tony's Lakers game even though he didn't play due to an injury. After the game the two went to dinner where they held hands for the cameras.

 

Eva and Tony both insist the woman is lying and claim she's done this before. They think the bitch is just looking for money. Eva would know, I'm sure she's played that card before. Some soccer star sued Alexandra last year after she claimed they were getting it on.

 

This Alexandra bitch is a terrible, terrible gold digger. Where are the pictures of them going at it? Hide the camera in your coochie or something, but get those pictures! That's the only way people will believe her ass. She seriously effed it up now. Bad gold digger! Bad gold digger! 

 

Image: Fame Pictures

 

 

 

 

A French woman came forward claiming she's been having an affair with Eva LongWHORIA's husband, Tony Parker. She claims they have been doing it for a couple of months now and that Eva doesn't know. The woman said Tony comes to her, because Eva doesn't want to do certain things. "She does not want to make love in front of a mirror, does not like [a] certain position and thinks that sperm gives acne."

No loads to the face for Eva? How the hell did she get her role on Desperate Housewives then? Oh, swallowing.

 

However, Eva and Tony are saying it's a bunch of lies. Of course. Tony told People , "I love my wife. She's the best thing in my life, and I have never been happier." Longoria, who took Parker's name this year after their July nuptials, added, "Tony has been nothing short of the perfect husband."

 

Yeah Eva, but what about sperm on your face? I give this marriage another year, TOPS!

 

 

 

Jessica Simpson isn't talking to her ex, John Mayer, and she doesn't want anybody else close to her talking to him either. Page Six reports that Eva LongWHORIA recently chatted up John when she ran into him at an event. Jessica found out and immediately flew into a rage and called Eva. A source said, "When Jessica heard that Eva was being friendly and polite to John, she called her a back-stabber and was furious." 

 

Jess' rep denies the fight.

 

I believe this shit. Jessica seems like the type even though her "relationship" with Mayer was all sorts of fake. Papa Joe probably threatened to re-cast Eva as Jessica's best friend for talking to the so-called enemy. Besides I'm sure Eva wasn't talking to him. She was probably just giving him a hand job. Hand jobs are practically like hand shakes.

 

 

 

Eva LongWHORIA left a salon in NYC yesterday with this shit on her head. Ken Paves does her hair normally and I'm sure he had something to do with this! He probably talked the stylist through it through text messages (because nobody uses the phone to talk anymore). He sure knows how to eff a bitch up. Her hair is like a cross between a backwards mullet and "The Rachel."  

 

 

Splash

 

 

 

The Sun is reporting that an Eva LongWHORIA sex tape is somewhere on the web. I looked and I could only find bunk ass clips that weren't Eva. Some sites claim that the tape is 100% real and co-stars Eva's husband, Tony Parker.

 

Tony I'd like to see, Eva not so much. She's probably a whiner in bed. I can imagine. The type that is always shouting "ouch" and "no, the other way!" An effin nag. Let's not even talk about the beef curtains.

 

Hopefully homegirl got into full make-up for the tape, because she looks illegal without any.

 

 

 

Forbes Magazine has released a list of the 10 most expensive celebrity pictures. Not surprisingly Brangelina dominated the list with 4 sets of photos. I'm sure they donate all that cash to charity, right? Anna Nicole isn't far behind with 3 sets. Here's the list:

 

1. Shiloh Pitt's first photos - People - June '06 - $4.1 Million

2. Demi and Ashton's wedding - OK! - Oct '05- $3 Million

3. Eva Longoria's wedding - OK! - July '07 - $2 Million

3. Larry Birkhead with Danielynn - Ok! - April '07 - $2 Million 

3. Pax Thien's adoption photos - People - March '07 - $2 Million

6. Anna Nicole's wedding to Howard Stern- People - Sept '06 - $1 Million 

7. Sean Preston Federline's first photos - People - Nov '05 - $500,000

7. Brangelina's first photos as a couple - Us Weekly - April '05 - $500,000

7. Angelina Jolie's first pregnant photos - People - Jan '06 - $500,000

10. Daniel Smith hours before his death - InTouch - Sept '06 - $400,000 

 

I still can't get over OK! paying $2 Million for Eva Longoria?! Nobody knows who she is!

 

Source

 

 

Eva LongWHORIA is such a damn whore for fame. Look at this shit. How effin pleasant is it to be stuffing your mouth with cannoli while a dozen cameras are pointing at you. The funny thing is I searched and searched for photos of Eva stuffing her skank mouth and couldn't find not one. She probably cut a deal with the paps.  

 

Tony Parker looks sooooo happy. I give this marriage 1-year. TOPS.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yuck. That is one of the most hideous cakes I've ever seen. The sad part is Eva Longoria and Tony Parker had that shit flown in. It probably cost a grip. They could've gotten a hotter cake at the Mexican bakery for like $80 and I'm not even joking.

 

Click here to see all the pics from their wedding. They've airbrushed her to hell.

 

 

 

I don't think Tony Parker and Eva LongWHORIA put out one red cent for their own wedding. OK! Magazine allegedly dropped $2 million for the photos and some even say that the magazine paid for some of the wedding itself. Guests were also impressed by the gift bags they were given at the reception.

 

The bags included $700 bracelets from French jeweler Van Cleef & Arpels, along with Bebe bags filled Vitamin Water, L'Oreal products for women and a Cole Haan kit for men. Sources say Eva didn't pay for any of it.

 

"They didn't purchase anything for their guests."

 

Cheap asses! However, that is a gift bag I wouldn't mind receiving. At the weddings I attend, I'm lucky to leave with those tacky ass mints in those plastic swans.

 

Source: Page Six 

Image: Splash