Sex Tapes

Vivid Entertainment is planning to release a supposed Jimi Hendrix sex tape. The video, which has no audio, features a dude that looks like Jimi Hendrix getting it on with two chicks in a dimly-lit room. The New York Times reports that his face only appears on screen for a few seconds and his eyes are closed. The 45-minute DVD releasing this week combines 11-minutes of the sex footage with a retrospective on his career.

The footage has reportedly been around for a long time and many experts and former friends claim it's not him. The HBIC of Vivid said, “I believe that we did our due diligence, and as a result of that clearly believe that it’s him. If they said that it wasn’t him, I would never have put it out.” He claims he got the video from the dude who shot it. The women in the movie haven't been identified. Hold on, I need to call my mother and ask her if she ever made a sex tape with Jimi Hendrix. It's possible!

The tape was discovered by a collector who bought a box of rock memorabilia at an auction in London. It was labeled “Black Man." When he realized it was Hendrix in the tape, he decided to sell it.

Hendrix died on September 18, 1970 at the age of 27.

A couple of weeks ago, a Marilyn Monroe tape was sold at an auction, but many claim the tape is a hoax.

Sex tapes! Sex tapes! If the tape doesn't show his face that much, who cares? It was the 60s, so you probably only see bush and a lot of it. Hairy bush everywhere!

UPDATE: TMZ has a clip of the sex tape. Click here to see it if you care

I guess most sex tapes eventually see the light of day, even if it is a million years later. A video featuring Marilyn Monroe giving oral to an unidentified dude was just sold to a New York businessman for $1.5 million. And I thought the $30 a month membership fees for porn sites was expensive.

The Post reports that the 15-minute video shot on 16mm film is from the 50s. When the video was discovered in the 60s, J. Edgar Hoover tried to prove the man in the movie was either John F or Robert Kennedy.

The silent film shows Marilyn kneeling in front of a man and performing oral on him. The dude's face is never in the shot. Marilyn also never looks up at the camera, so it's not known whether or not she knew about being filmed.

The movie has been in the hands of the FBI for a while, but a copy was made. Joe DiMaggio offered to buy it for $25,000, but his offer was turned down.

Keya Morgan, the collector that got his hands on the tape, said, "You see instantly that it's Marilyn Monroe - she has the famous mole. She's smiling, she's very charming, she's very radiant, but she's known for being radiant. She moves away, and then it [the footage] stops." Keya said the tape will never be released to the public. The dude that bought it wants to keep it private and will lock it away.

Damn! Marilyn must have known they were filming her. Have you heard those old cameras in action? They sound like a train is running through the room. You couldn't be slick back then. It probably took them 5 hours to set that shit up.

Everyone has a sex tape! Cleopatra would have had one if they had video cameras back then. She probably made one of her slaves translate her sex sessions into hieroglyphics.

Kristin Davis' rep has already denied she has a sex tape and that it's her in the pictures going around the internet. I just saw 13 of the 20 pictures and some look like her and some don't. TMZ reports that the pictures were taken 5-years ago by an ex-boyfriend. They are currently being shopped around by a California broker. There's apparently no sex tape - just pictures. It's taken this long to shop around, because the buzz for celebrity sex pictures is higher now. That and the "Sex and the City" movie is coming out in a few months. HBO's marketing team has gotten so raunchy. Love it.

Click here to see 13 of the pics, but it's NSFW! I shouldn't have to tell you that. I'm surprised that see that much bush. I figured all the SATC women got their business waxed.

I'm trying to push out the thought that the dick in the picture belongs to Alec Baldwin. Rude little pig!

Kristin Davis from Sex and the City has a sex tape? I doubt it, but there's this picture going around of some girl who looks like Kristin licking nasty peen. ScottFayner.com claims a tape is being shopped around and that there's more photos of "Kristin" on some pay porn site. Several people (No, not me) have subscribed to the porn site hoping for a little York pudding. Apparently, there's no pictures of her on the site.

I hope there's no sex tape, because Kristin is not the SATC bitch I want to see in a sex tape. I'm secretly praying for a hot lesbian tape featuring Cynthia Nixon and her butchie girlfriend.

Click here to see the NSFW picture of probably fake Kristin licking broke peen. Judge for yourself.

The Gene Simmons sex tape has arrived! I know this is one of the celebrity sex tapes you've been waiting for. You can now scratch Gene's name off of your most wanted celebrity sex tape list right under Mickey Rourke. AVN reports that Gene allegedly made the tape while promoting Frank's Energy Drink. The woman in the video is NOT Shannon Tweed, but some model named Elsa. She's a spokesmodel for Frank's. She takes her job seriously.

The video is available at GenesSecret.com. There's also a clip on the site. I think what bothers me most is that Elsa's wearing platform flip flops. Tacky! If you're going to make a sex tape at least be classy about it and wear some Shauna Sand lucite heels. She also looks asleep. I would have to be asleep or in a coma to let Gene Simmons' hump on me, so I don't blame her.

Shannon is going to be pissed! You're not the only sexy video star in the family, Shannon!

A sex tape claiming to star New York went around the internet this weekend, but was taken down after New York claimed it wasn't her. She told People that it was a hard thing to go through. She said she couldn't have made it through without the love of Tailor Made.

Bitch said, “I told him what happened and he said, ‘I stand by you.’ He didn’t question me. He helped me relax about it. I was floored. I thought, ‘I have to clear this up.’ It saddened me as a woman and as a black woman. I feel violated because it’s not me. If that were me, I would stand by it. They crossed the line.”

“I’m not going to let this (put) me in a state of being sad or feeling beaten up. I’m gonna be a big girl about it. I’m gonna stay strong. It’s a disgusting thing to have to go through.”

Sweetie, you violated yourself a long ass time ago. New York is right though. She needs to be a big girl about. Tuck that dick in proper and hold your adam's apple up high.

Mediatakeout claims they have a sex tape featuring reality TV's least favorite tranny, New York. I think her mom, Mister Patterson, is reality TV's favorite tranny. The tape isn't long, but features some dude giving it to some tranny from the back. It's blurry as hell, but it's also a bore. The dick keeps slipping out, so it could very well be New York. You know her a-hole is probably droopy as hell. Flapping in the wind and shit.

It wouldn't surprise me, because that's where New York's career is going next. Tranny porn!

Click here to see it if you care

Thanks Kelly

I've been getting tons of emails about this article in The Sun which claims FoxNews is claiming there's a Britney Spears sex video on the internet. The FoxNews article claims:

A raunchy sex tape starring the pop singer was leaked on the web today. The 30 minute video shows the shaven headed pop star performing sex acts with 2 unidentified females and a male companion. During the video , the dazed britney consumes alcohol and what appears to be cocaine and marijuana.

As hot as this sounds (barf), it's not true. Somebody took this FoxNews article and replaced the original text with the sex tape rumor text. They sent out the link and some people picked it up. I won't link the fake article here, because that shit could have viruses on it or something. The link is obviously not from FoxNews. This fake story hit yesterday afternoon, so if there was a Britney sex tape on the internet I'm sure we all would've seen it which means we all would be crying in fear under our bed sheets right now.

Sorry boys and girls. You'll have to find something else to jack off to and by "jack off" I mean throw up.

Can sex tapes featuring fug ass guidos become illegal before the release of Joey Buttafuoco's tape? The same company that released Amy Fisher's sex tape have announced that they will also put out a tape Joey made with his wife. No, not Mary Jo. Red Light District will put the tape out next month for $39.95.

The tape was reportedly made at the home of an adult movie director during a party. Joey reportedly had no idea he was being filming. Yeah and I'm not easy. As much as I want to believe that I won't see Joey's sex tape, my genitals are just too curious. Who the hell is going to buy that shit? Well, the bear loving gays will.

Ok, I'd hit it. I'm joking! No, I'm not. Yes, I am. No, I'm not.

Source: Reuters