Gwen Stefani

Gavin & Gwen's Dark Ass Nursery

Gwen Stefani is still knocked up? It feels like it's been years. She's still carrying because Gavin Rossdale is talking to E! News about their new baby's nursery. Mainly, paint colors. Celeb whoreswill talk about anything and obviously I'll post about anything.

Gavin said, "We don't know if it's a boy or a girl. Plus, we are going to put him in a black room. It'll be a goth baby so it doesn't matter if it is a boy or a girl." They don't know the sex, but they are going to put him in a black room? Someone slipped! Anyway, he's just having a laugh! They aren't going to paint the nursery black. They're just going to keep the baby in a coffin.

Besides, some dumb bitch told me that babies like black and white better. Something about how they respond to graphic, bold shit and can't see colors or something like that. I wasn't really listening because I was probably drunk. Just like I am now!



Everybody's Knocked Up

Seeing all these knocked up broads makes my sausage, egg and cheese bloat feel like a baby. I should piss on an e.p.t. just to be safe. Anyway, here's tons of pictures of walking baby ovens from the past couple of days. Well, Nicole Kidman is more like a pillow oven. She probably stores a week supply of botox in her pillow bump just in case she gets stranded somewhere. I kid, I kid. I'm sure her baby will come out with a permanent surprised look on its face and frosted tips and then we'll know it's their baby.

Nicky and Keith's kiss in the third thumbnail below is all sorts of awkward. She's blowing, he's sucking.

The baby ovens below are: Nicky, Tori Smelly, Gwen Stefani and Camilla Alves.



Knocked Up Ladies

Two very different knocked up ladies were out and about with their families yesterday. One is probably going to pop out a furry litter of 6 and the other one needs to stop doing this pregnancy thing, so she can work on the new No Doubt album. Come on Gwennie. I need a sequel to "Don't Speak" called "I Really Mean It. STFU!" She promised.

I also have a disgusting confession to make. I actually spent money on Tori Smelly's book. I couldn't fucking help it. The back of the book featured a picture of Mimi La Rue asking me to "buy this book." I can't say no to Mimi.

Wireimage,Wenn



"Look! I Have A Child!"

Put that boy down, Gwen! He doesn't like being shown off like that. He's not your toy! He wants to frolic through the fields picking flowers.

Here's Gwen wearing one of Morticia Addams' old ones while having din din with her hot husband and her family in Hollywood yesterday.

What the hell happened to the No Doubt reunion?! I was looking forward to that shit and then Gwen goes and gets herself knocked up. She announced, I thought it was going to happen and BAM! Nothing. The only way she can redeem herself is if she names her baby "Queenston" even if it's a boy. She has a King! She needs a Queen now.



You're Next

The Sun claims Gwen Stefani is 13 weeks knocked up with her second kid. A source said, “They found out at California’s Cedars-Sinai hospital and couldn’t wait to share the news with everyone.”

Gwen and Gavin Rossdale's son, Kingston, is one years-old.

Ladies out there (and some men), just relax. You're going to get pregnant. It's hitting the celebrities first and then it's going to hit you. You can't escape it. You can stop drinking the water, start wearing a mask, start drinking tons of Emergen-C and it will still hit you.

I can't wait to see who gets knocked up next! I'm going to take a gamble and say...hmmm...Britney Spears. It just seems right and then the human race should be destroyed. It's been a great run!

UPDATE: Gwen's rep confirms it! Bitch is knocked up!



People Actually Feed Ducks?

People actually feed ducks? I thought that was just in the movies. Photo-op! Just kidding. Gwen Stefani, Gavin Rossdale and Kingston spent the day feeding ducks. Boring. This is why I don't have kids, because I'd set him in front of the TV and go about my business. You would never see me feeding ducks.

Gwen's shoes look deadly. Beauty is pain I guess, but you know her feet are probably gnarly.

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Oh, To Be A Hollywood Kid!

 
Life would be fantastic! Think about it. You don't have to work. You're rich and famous and you don't have to do anything for it. You can wear silly clothes and get away with it. The best part is you get to suck on a pacifier for all your days. Seriously, Suri and Kingston have been on the bottle and pacifier for like ages. They can get away with it.  
 
Here's Kingston with his parents, Gavin and Gwen, in England the other day. I like Gwen, because even though she lives in England she doesn't put on one of those fake ass British accents like a certain pop star with a saggy vag does.  
 
 
 
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Gavin Rossdale Plays With Balls

 
Mr. Gwen Stefani, Gavin Rossdale, is one of those dudes you meet while you're drunk as fuck in a bar and you think bitch has a totally hot body. You're all excited, because you thought you won the lottery and then you get down to it and realize bitch is softer than you thought. It's not bad just not all hot.
 
For some reason I thought Gavin Rossdale without a shirt would be a little more exciting. Don't get me wrong, I'd still sit on his face and tell him that I love him, but it's just not all that.
 
He needs to trim that pube bush on his chest though. Here's Gavin playing with balls the other day. 
 
 
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Kingston Could Care Less

 
Gwen Stefani took her little Kingston out shopping yesterday and he looked more interested in playing with some fugly stuffed cat than buying $90 t-shirts.
 
His outfits cost more than anything outfit I will ever, ever own.  
 
 
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Look At Me!

 
Gwen Stefani is still on tour and was spotted in Prague yesterday with her little, Kingston. I thought bitch was making a No Doubt album? It feels like she's been touring for EVER.
 
Kingston is a cutie, but that stroller is some tacky ass shit. Talk about drawing attention to yourself! At least Kingston is getting a little tanning session in, because that gold crap is reflecting whatever sun there is on him. Sunset Tan on wheels!  
 
 
Wenn
 
 


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