Behold The Sizzling Chemistry Of Christian Gray And Ana Steele

Sorry, I couldn’t even type that shit with a straight face. If the pictures that keep surfacing of Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson on the set of 50 Shades of Gray are any indication, the mommy porn brigade is going to be sorely disappointed when they leave the theatre drier than a nun’s snatch after watching these two wet noodles hump on each other.

Who can buy Jamie and Dakota as a couple with so much animal magnetism they can’t keep their hands off each other? Those two face-sucking amateurs from Virgin Diaries could have been cast and been more believable. Hell, I have more sexual chemistry with this Egg McMuffin I’m eating, but who wouldn’t? McMuffins have natural sex appeal. If that look on Jamie’s face is supposed to be indicative of how much smolder the die-hards have to look forward to, they’d better keep those fantasies of Matt Bomer or Ian Somerhalder alive and well in their spank banks. I’ve given better looks of longing to the dessert tray at restaurants and seen more believable eye sex between a hobo and a bottle of hooch.

(Pics: FameFlynet)