Category: Zayn Malik

Zayn Malik And Gigi Hadid Broke Up 

March 13, 2018 / Posted by:

In the Pussy Posse Den, Leonardo DiCatchAHo has told his bro-in-waiting Lukas Haas to check to see if newly single Gigi Hadid has reached old curdled hag age yet (read: 25 and over) and to also see if he’s ever dated her before. If not, order one of her from Victoria’s Secret STAT!

Zayn Malik and Gigi Hadid tweeted today that after two years together, they are done with looking at each other’s faces on a regular basis and have broken up. Zayn is 25 years old, Gigi is 22 years old, and they’re both rich, hot and famous, so 2 years is like 200 years in average-looking non-famous normal ho time. So they should congratulate themselves for beating the odds!

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Open Post: Hosted By Rita Ora Giving You Intergalactic Bordello Madam

January 28, 2018 / Posted by:

When you’re a question mark’s favorite pop singer and people regularly mistake you for the wall, you have to pull some shit to make people pay attention to you. Like dress yourself up as a Miss Kitty from the future who just got jumped by a gang of silkie chickens.

Clive Davis threw his annual pre-Grammy party in NYC last night, and many of the guests decided to save their better dresses for tonight’s Grammys (although, they should really just wear pajamas with an attached pillow and duvet cover, because that shit is going to be three and a half fucking hours long). Because most of them wore boring dresses bought off the rack at Macy’s (Taryn Manning’s impact!), but not Rita Ora.

Rita Ora threw feathers, fringe, bows, rhinestone and whatever else that was on sale at Michael’s onto her body. Rita looks like she just came from auditioning for the Thandie Newton role in a no-budget unauthorized Public Access reboot of Westworld that takes place way off in the future and will eventually get shut down after HBO sues. Rita is also dressed like a look-for-less Kartrashian, which is saying a lot since the Kartrashians dress like look-for-less Kartrashians.

And here’s a million more pictures from Clive Davis’ party, including Kathie Lee Gifford (who I hope wins, via write-in vote, the Best Song Grammy tonight for He Saw Jesus) and Martha Stewart, whose dogs are probably nervous that she’s going to skin and wear their asses next.


Taylor Swift’s Music Video Director Is Still Yammering Away

September 11, 2017 / Posted by:

When the Beyhive saw a teaser clip of Taylor Swift’sLook What You Made Me Do” music video, they angrily buzzed, “Look at the Rachel Roy take-down you’re about to make me do!!!” Taylor had the audacity to stand front and center in a line-up of her dancers, which had never been done by a pop star until Beyoncé Queen of the Universe and Our Lord and Savior Knowles-Carter Christ deemed it necessary to do in her video for “Formation.” I really wish it had just ended there, but (to borrow a favorite Dlisted phrase) the Butterscotch Don pulled her foundation move and sent in a minion to fight her battle.

Music video director Joseph Kahn first told people to take a seat and wait until the vid came out and recognize that no one was ripping off Beyoncé. And then it ended there, and people went along with their lives.

Wrong! It keeps going.

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Let’s Hope Joe Jonas Doesn’t Have A Subscription To Vogue

July 13, 2017 / Posted by:

Although Gigi Hadid and Joe Jonas weren’t together all that long and seemed to have an amicable break-up, the JoBro warbler appeared to be a little peeved when he was interviewed after Gigi started canoodling with a One Directioner. He sat down with the Daily Mirror in 2016 and said, “I think it’s interesting that she moved on so quickly, I mean it was definitely very quick.

Welp, fast forward a year, and the Supermodel/”Bitch of the moment” Gigi is on the cover of the August issue of American Vogue with boyfriend Zayn Malik looking like some plaid reboot of Victor/Victoria.

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Zayn Malik Defends Gigi Hadid Against People Saying She’s Racist

February 7, 2017 / Posted by:

Gigi and Bella Hadid were both at a friend’s birthday party the other day, and since they have to put absolutely everything on social media, Bella posted a video on Instagram of Gigi mimicking the Asian eyes on a cookie. Bella deleted that video, but the damage was already done and many labeled Gigi as the new Miley Cyrus (and RiRi)!

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Here’s Taylor Swift Trying To Bring The Sexy In The Video For “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever”

January 27, 2017 / Posted by:

Taylor Swift and Zayn Malik’s song I Don’t Wanna Live Forever is ten layers of annoying wrapped in twenty layers of unsexy, so it’s perfect for the Fifty Shades Darker soundtrack. The video for it, which came out last night, is also perfect, because like a Fifty Shades movie, you’ll want to turn it off after 15 seconds. That’s if you don’t fall into a boredom-induced coma first.

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