Fellow comedian Dave Chappelle defended him, collaborator Pamela Adlon said she was devastated and shocked by what he did and now Zach Galifianakis is saying he is grossed out by the actions of Louis C.K. In a recent Vulture interview, Zach talks about his reaction to, not only Louis’ actions in particular, but also to the “poison of celebrity culture” in general. Then he cried the actual tears of a clown.
Just like President Obama before her, Hillary Clinton appeared on Zach Galifianakis’ fake-ish/real-ish/definitely awkward talk show Between Two Ferns. Get that hipster millennial vote, Hil!
I’m not surprised that Hillary would appear on Between Two Ferns; she’s no stranger to popping up on funny stuff like SNL and Broad City. What I’m more surprised at is that Zach Galifianakis looks a whole lot more like Zach Galifianakis than the last time we saw him. That’s must be why Hillary is making that “Who dis?” face above. That, or she’s still trying to get to the bottom of the mystery of who had the audacity to sully her favorite blue boucle knit pantsuit jacket with a cheap piece of tape. “I know part of the charm is that it’s beyond low budget, but would it kill you to upgrade to coordinating lavaliers?”
Zach is known for getting really awkward during his interviews, but Zach’s interview with Hillary never got that uncomfortable. Maybe he figured it wasn’t worth it to go full-awkward with his presidential candidate interview. Even if he conducted the whole interview in nothing but a rubber Bill Clinton mask and cigars taped to his junk while Hillary sang a collection of angry Bernie Bro tweets while trying not to pass out, and it still wouldn’t be anywhere near as uncomfortable watching as Jimmy Fallon getting cutesy Donald Trump.
And since Hillary is continuing to go for that youth vote, I can’t wait to see her wearing a suit made of crushed-up Ritz crackers and shower drain hair clogs on The Eric Andre Show.
And yet, I still would. I would have back when he looked like a feral hamster, and I would now. Hell, I would even if he was dressed as The Snuggler, but I think that says more about me than I should admit out loud, so I’ll stop.
Zach Galifianakis must have gotten cursed out by an evil gypsy woman or something, because he showed up to the SAG Awards last night looking like an emaciated chicken nugget. And everyone was like “who dis?“, because Zach Galifianakis doesn’t really look like Zach Galifianakis anymore. He looks more like a blond Joaquin Phoenix. It’s like The Curious Case of Jonah Hill Galifianakis – all eyes and neck.
As much as I want to believe some old lady pulled a Thinner on his ass, Zach’s weight loss is probably just the result of quitting booze. Zach told Conan O’Brien back in May 2013 that he quit drinking and lost some weight, so I guess he’s still not drinking. According to UsWeekly, a source close to Zach says he’s “continuing to stay healthy. People are really proud of him.” That’s all well and good, but did he have to get rid of that sexy beard too? Maybe the beard started missing booze too much and was like “Fuck this, I’m going to go live on Andrew Garfield’s face.”
Zach didn’t walk the red carpet, but here’s more handsome tuxedoed hos from the SAG Awards last night, including Adrien Brody, BILF (Beetlejuice I’d like to…you get the idea) Michael Keaton, and the Texas T-Rex looking like the maître d of a fancy topless surf n’ turf restaurant:
Brad Pitt, a man that with every passing year starts to look more and more like the long-lost illegitimate son of the Zig-Zag man (Maury, get on that), made an appearance on Zach Galifianakis’ “Between Two Ferns” to promote that WW2 movie where he plays a dude with the same haircut as every hipster who owns a coffee shop in Silver Lake (aka Fury). Poor Brapi; I can only imagine how disappointed he was when he walked on set and realized the two ferns he’d be in between weren’t weed plants. And yet, why do I get the feeling he probably tried to smoke them anyway?
My favorite episodes of “Between Two Ferns” are the ones where Zach Galapagos Islands and his guest throw subtle shade before reading each other to FILTH (see: Zach vs. President Barack Obama). But that never really happens here, because Brapi appears to have just woken up from his 2pm stoner nap and is too tie-tie to make with the funny. Case in point:
This is the face Brad made right after Zach brought out Louis CK. And now we know what St. Angie sees whenever she follows the trail of Funyun crumbs from the kitchen into the den and finds Brad staring at the light switch. “But where does the light go when I turn it off? It’s a mystery, man.”
And while it was nice of Zach to gift Brad with a “bassoon”, he doesn’t actually have any use for it. Hanging around St. Angie and the chosen ones all day is enough to make anyone feel higher than an LSD-dipped ‘shroom sandwich. It’s true! I’ve actually heard that smelling St. Angie’s hair is a big problem for teenage angels at Heaven High.
I must’ve not been paying attention when the chunk slowly melted off of Zach Galifianakis’ body and he transformed into a new and de-FUPA’d him. Thank God he didn’t lose any weight from his lusciously fat bushy brows.
Zach showed up to the New York Film Festival premiere of Birdman on Saturday Night and everybody who hasn’t seem in a while had a “Harpo, who dis woman?” moment. They all looked at Zach the same way Pimp Mama Kris looks at the ho in her stable who doesn’t make her any money (aka Rob Kardashian). They looked at Zach like, “You look familiar, but I can’t quite put a name to that face.”
No, Zach didn’t get skinny after a 109-year-old traveller cursed his ass for hitting an old lady. Zach joked to E! at the premiere of Birdman that he’s dying. But E! points out that last year, Zach started losing the chunk and told Conan O’Brien that he lost weight after he broke up with the sweet nectar. You know how sometimes when you’re spending time with booze and the next thing you know you’re 5 episodes into a Naked and Afraid marathon and you look at that bottle while saying, “How could you lead me down this dark and dangerous path?” Zach had a lot of those moments so he quit that shit.
“I stopped drinking and I just kind of put the weight off… I was having a lot of vodka with sausage…delicious but bad for you. I was getting into too much trouble with the drinking, so I just kind of stopped.”
So Zach is now booze and FUPA free.
And to answer the question in your head, yes, yes, I’d hit it and mostly because I look at Zach and kind of see the college drama teacher neighbor of Julia Roberts in Sleeping with the Enemy:
Zach, get thee a black mock turtleneck now!
President Barack Obama appeared on Zach Galifianakis’s fake-ish/real-ish talk show Between Two Ferns to promote the Affordable Healthcare Act website and generally be very Obama-y. But I forgot everything important he was trying to say the second they started throwing POTUS-level shade at each other, and I loved it even if it is obviously scripted to hell and back (I don’t doubt Barry can read a bitch, but unless he spends all of his downtime watching Drag Race clips, he’s not that quick).
The video is six-and-a-half minutes long, which in internet video time is like watching the fucking Lord of the Rings movies back to back, (perspective: you could literally re-watch that slutty iguana make out with a golf ball 13 times) but it’s worth watching the whole thing just to see Obama make the same exasperated over-it face he probably makes every time an email from Sarah Palin pop up in his inbox.