Category: You’re Fired!
An Olive Garden Manager Was Fired For Telling Staff To Come Into Work No Matter What, And If Their Dog Dies, They Need To Bring The Dead Dog In To Prove It
The manager of an Olive Garden in Johnson County, Kansas has been fired after sending an extreme message to employees about attendance. KCTV5 reports that the manager (who has remained nameless) was so annoyed about her restaurant’s “staggering” amount of call-outs that she ordered them to come into work when they were sick to “prove it to us.” Then she took it several billion steps further and wrote, “If your dog died, you need to bring him in and prove it to us.” Um, is that a smart idea for a restaurant? “I’m sorry you found fur in your chicken parmigiana, ma’am. Unfortunately, our kitchen is packed to the rafters with fresh dog corpses…”
Elon Musk Is Expected To Lay Off A Huge Chunk Of Twitter Employees And He’s Getting Sued Over It
Big Bad Elon Musk has been in charge of Twitter for one week, and the (s)hits keep coming. First, he canned a bunch of top execs, then he gave us Pay-for-Verification-gate, and now he’s on a mass-firing spree. No one’s sure of the exact number, but CNN reports that 25% to 50% of Twitter’s 7,500 employees are expected to lose their jobs before the holidays. Man, this guy doesn’t even bother pretending he’s not evil! A real-life Mr. Burns, except, somehow, less relatable. At least Burns had that teddy bear and scintillating will-they-won’t-they tension with Smithers.
Frank Langella Announces “I Have Been Canceled” After Netflix Fired Him From “Fall Of The House Of Usher”
Frank Langella is one sad puppy. Frank has pronounced himself “canceled. Just like that” in a guest column written for Deadline, declaring himself a victim of “the increasing madness that currently pervades our industry.” That “madness” led to Frank being fired by Netflix from his leading role in the limited series Fall of the House of Usher after he was accused by one of his co-stars of touching her inappropriately during a love scene. All of which Frank breezily owns up to, in addition to having told an “off-color” joke, calling people “baby” and “honey” and hugging and touching without permission. And boy is he pissed!
A German Reporter Was Fired After Smearing Mud On Her Face To Look Like She Helped Clean Up A Flooded Town
Last week Europe was hit with torrential floods which killed at least 196 people in Germany and Belgium. Bad Münstereifel, a small town in Western Germany, was completely devastated, and soon TV presenter Susanna Ohlen showed up to report on the destruction. But before Susanna went live, she did something really dirty; she smeared mud on her face and clothes so it would look like she was in the middle of helping with the clean-up. Unfortunately for Susanna, her trick was caught on film by a curious onlooker who posted it on Twitter. She was suspended and then fired because that shit’s basically the opposite of “journalistic integrity” (or “journalistische integrität”).
Prince Harry And Meghan Markle Have Let Their Buckingham Palace Staff Go
Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s reign of terror is currently fluctuating somewhere between King Henry VII and Idi Amin in terms of sheer ruthless blood lust. Fresh off from reporting that Meghan and Harry flew commercial for a brainstorming session at Stanford University, The Daily Mail is reporting that in the wake of Sussexodus, Meghan and Harry have “axed” their Buckingham Palace staff, and I think they mean for you to take that literally. I know I pictured Meghan and Harry calling all their footmen, chambermaids, ladies-in-waiting, butlers and scullery maids to assemble on the front lawn, chins up and at attention, only to be mowed down by Harry with a Victorian hunting rifle at Meghan’s request. But in reality, it’s not quite that dramatic.
Megyn Kelly Is Definitely Not Going Back To “Today” And Fox News Doesn’t Want Her Either
Well, are you happy now!? You’ve ruined the fun for everybody. You complained about Megyn Kelly being a rancid troll when she defended blackface and followed it up with a sea of crocodile tears and a Dollar Store apology, and now, according to multiple sources, she’s in contract negotiations to secure her bag before her “imminent” departure from NBC. Now we’re not going to get a chance to see whatever she had planned for her Today Halloween costume! Why do you think she said blackface is A-OK in the first place!? She was preparing us. She was probably planning on coming out, live on TV, dressed up as Kanye West and now we’ll never know!