Diseases are getting dragged this week. First, Hanson compared Chlamydia to Justin Bieber’s voice, and now Lorde is saying that being friends with Taylor Swift is like being friends with someone with an autoimmune disease. Hanson has yet to burp up a sorry for shitting on Chlamydia like that, but Lorde has apologized, and probably because she realized that someone with a disease like Lupus already has enough to deal with and they don’t need to be compared to the exhaustive snake in Skipper’s clothing.
Surprise, Surprise, People Are Pissed About This Picture Of Kathy Griffin Holding A “Bloody” Trump Mask (UPDATE)
When Jabba the Trump won the election, Amanda Palmer said that it’s going to be a shit show but at least the world would get some “amazing satirically political art” Well, ask and ye shall receive, Amanda!
The edgiest artist who ever arted, Tyler Shields, and proud attention whore Kathy Griffin got together and made some HIGH ART that’s got both sides shaking their heads. Some conservatives, including Jabba the Trump Jr., have dropped their champagne popsicles to wave a fist of rage at Kathy and demand that the FBI stop investigating Russia and start investigating that ginger threat to POTUS (they didn’t say that but I’m sure Trump will). Some liberals, including Chelsea Clinton, are side-eying Kathy like, “Bitch, you ain’t helping.”
Mo’Nique may be an Oscar winner, but her most prized trophy is probably the lifetime achievement award she got from the Don’t Give A Fuck Society. If Lee Daniels ever does a sequel to Precious called Precious II: Preciouser, Oprah will probably be the one wearing a tracksuit as Mary, because Mo’Nique blew up that bridge and buried its ashes in a grave at the bottom of the ocean. Mo’Nique’s jaw bone must be a next-level kind of strong, because she worked it out while going off on how Lee Daniels told her that she wasn’t getting good roles after winning the Oscar for Precious because she was blackballed for being difficult to work with. Mo’Nique says she was supposed to play Cookie in Lee Daniels’ Empire and the role that Oprah played in The Butler was originally hers.
Lee also supposedly told Mo’Nique that she didn’t play the game. He also pretty much confirmed to The Hollywood Reporter in 2015 that he’s fucking done with Mo’Nique professionally. But Mo’Nique isn’t done calling him out and this weekend, she also dragged Oprah and Tyler Perry into it. I raise my hands and praise any David who goes up against one Goliath (let alone three), but even I’m dropping my arms so that I can use one hand to cup Mo’Nique ear and say, “Err, I don’t know if you want to find yourself acting alongside Mr. Fluffy in a kitty litter commercial.”
Earlier this week, we learned that Suge Knight had allegedly corroborated a theory in a documentary called Tupac Assassination: Battle for Compton. Suge allegedly believes that Tupac Shakur’s murder was an accident and he was the real target. It was also suggested that Suge’s ex-wife Sharitha Golden ordered the hit on Suge. Since everyone knows it’s not good to be on Suge’s bad side, I’m surprised Sharitha didn’t immediately change her name to Mrs. Not Suges-Exwife and flee the country. Instead of doing that, she sent TMZ a video she recorded about the situation.
When Adele won the Album of the Year Grammy, she said in so many words that the voters made the wrong decision and that the trophy should’ve gone to her lord and savior Beyonce. Ten-time Grammy (and three-time Latin Grammy) winner Carlos Santana disagrees with Adele and added some words that put his face on a Most Wanted poster in the Hive.
Ed Sheeran did an interview with the Brazilian site Capricho and of course that means he talked about Taylor Swift. Ed specifically talked about how Taylor goes to James Bond lengths of crazy to make sure that her songs don’t leak onto the internet. Taylor once said in an interview that she gets paranoid about being wiretapped and secretly recorded (cut to her head popping off over Kim Kartrashian secretly recording her). And apparently, she’s also paranoid about her music leaking. Tay Tay must think that her songs are as precious and valuable as a Collector’s Edition DVD of Showgirls signed by Gina Gershon, the top secret recipe for an Orange Julius and a rubber replica of Jon Hamm’s Hammaconda, because she spends a lot of money to protect them.