An Actress Called Tom Cruise A “Narcissistic Baby” During A Girlfriend Audition And Lived To Tell About It
And now it’s time to add yet another name to the already miles-long list of people who are willing to pull back the curtain and expose just how totally messy Scientology is. This time it’s an actress, voice-over artist and comedian named Cathy Schenkelberg and she spoke to The Daily Mail about it.
Cathy spilled some barley water-steeped tea to The Daily Mail to promote her one-woman Scientology tell-all show called “Squeeze My Cans.” The tea included how Cathy talked some shit about Tom Cruise during a girlfriend audition. Although to be fair, Cathy says she didn’t even know she was auditioning to be the next Mrs. Tom Cruise.
Taylor Swift used to say “shit list,” but since she says it so much and has to clean her mouth out afterward, she ran out of soap real quick.
Troian Bellisario is on your 12-year-old niece’s favorite show Pretty Little Liars (and yes, I am your 12-year-old niece because I used to watch it religiously) and so since she’s a celebrity, she was at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia this week. Cosmopolitan was also there, and in between working on an article titled, “25 Anti-Hillary Dirty Talk Lines That Will Make Your Bernie-Or-Bust Boyfriend Bust Faster,” they talked to Troian about politics and shit. The “shit” being the feud between the Veronica in Betty’s body, Taylor Swift, and matching butt plugs Kanye and Kim Kartrashian.
If I were Chris Brown and just found out I was in trouble with Suge Knight, I’d be making the same “You in danger, self” look too. Because if there’s ever been a person you don’t want to piss off, it’s Suge Knight.
Page Six says that Suge Knight has filed a lawsuit against Chris Brown and nightclub 1OAK regarding Brown’s disastrous pre-MTV VMAs party at 1OAK back in 2014. The messiness started when someone tried to take out Chris Brown and ended up shooting Suge Knight seven times instead. Three others were shot and one ended up in critical condition. Two years later, and Suge is allegedly still feeling the aftermath of that shooting. According to the lawsuit, Suge claims to have ongoing complications, including a blood clot, from being shot in his chest, arm, and abdomen at Chris’ party. Um, are we sure that blood clot is from a bullet that was shot during Chris Brown’s party and not one of the millions of other times Suge Knight has been shot?
If you’ve got a “Free Jinger” t-shirt, go ahead and cross out “Jinger” and scribble “Jana” on it.
Jinger Duggar was one of the Duggars that people hoped would escape the baby farm of cult craziness in the dead of night and run off to NYC where she’d change her name to Ginger, move in with a gay struggling actor and get a job as a nanny to a rich bitch, but that’s not going to happen. Jinger Duggar’s uterus has begun screaming the chorus to ABBA’s SOS, because if everything goes according to plan, she’ll soon be coochie belching up babies by the dozen.
The Duggars have a new TLC shit show called Counting On to whore out and so they have given People the news that 22-year-old Jinger Duggar and 28-year-old Jeremy Vuolo have begun courting. Their “courting” will be shown on the new season of their show. “Courting” is at the top of the list of words that make me heave along with “CROCS,” “Uggs,” “moist,” “shingles,” “taxes” and “Kardashian.”
Jeremy is a graduate of Syracuse University and he played professional soccer in the US and Europe before leaving the game to devote his life to spreading the word of the Lord like his pastor father. Jeremy is friends with Jinger’s sister and brother-in-law, Jessa and Ben Seewald, and he met his current side hugging partner during a missionary trip last May. You know Jim Bob Duggar busted a nut over the fact that Jeremy’s name starts with a “J.”
A Duggar isn’t officially courting until they’ve used the “news” to get attention, so Jinger and Jeremy made an awkward-as-hell announcement video. Their mouths say, “we’re happy,” but their eyes say, “heeeeelp me.”
Hmmm.. I have a question after watching that video. If Jinger’s face accidentally brushes up against Jeremy’s juicy tit when they side hug, does that count as half-motorboating, and if so, does half-motorboating go against the laws of courting?
Most of the Duggar husbands look like strung out polyps, so at least Jinger got stuck with a hot one. And yes, I’d hit that, sideways, of course.
“Oooh, if you need any help, give me a call. I love a good trademark lawsuit!” texted Taylor Swift to Beyonce.
According to the Daily Mail, a company named Feyoncé Inc has found themselves in some legal trouble with her holiness Beyonce. You see, just like Taylor Swift and many other artists who care deeply about dollars, Beyonce trademarked a bunch of stuff to protect her bank account from people not named Beyonce looking to make a buck off her name. One company in Texas clearly thought they found a loophole and started selling stuff with the word “Feyoncé” (pronounced like “fiancé“) on it in the same font Beyonce uses. Stuff like mugs, t-shirts, hoodies – basically anything a recently-engaged Beyhive member would buy to use as a prop in one of the 1,293 engagement pictures they’d upload to Facebook.
Yesterday and this morning, my inbox, my Twitter timeline and my RSS feed were all filled with titles saying that Katie Price would have aborted earth angel Harvey Price if she knew about his disabilities before she had him. The OUTRAGE muscle that started growing in my brain the first minute I logged onto the Internet began to throb and I was about to rage at that toe-fucking evil heartless demon.
But then I did this bizarre thing called “read beyond the headline.” I know, I don’t know why I did that. What’s wrong with me?