“Pussy Posse Alpha” doesn’t just sound like a sorority house on the campus of Hoochie U, it’s also apparently something that Tobey Maguire might become. Tobey Maguire was one of the original member’s of Leonardo DiCaprio’s Pussy Posse (rebranded in recent years as “The Wolf Pack“). Sadly, he had to give up the model-humping lifestyle when he got married and had kids. Last month, Tobey Maguire split from his wife Jennifer Meyer, and of course he slipped right back into the Pussy Posse’s regular routine of partying and pussy-hunting.
As it turns out, Tobey might soon be more than just a member of Leo’s boys club. According to Page Six, Tobey could be THE KING! This is some manwhore Hamlet shit. A source claims that the rest of the posse sees there’s a potential spot open as the alpha douche now that Leo is busy with steady model piece, Nina Agdal. I guess Lukas Haas asked the rest of the Pussy Posse who they think should lead the group, and apparently they want Tobey. The source says, “The Wolf Pack [is] now using Tobey as Leo.” I hope Tobey doesn’t get the boat barfs, because he’s about to spend all his free time on a yacht in the middle of the ocean. Lukas might want to start running motion sickness drills with him right now.
Tobey bought a huge new house last week, and I thought that seemed a little weird for a bachelor pad, but now it all makes sense. Tobey was just settling into his role as the new Leo. He obviously needed some extra room to accommodate the dozens of panty models he’d be bringing home from Paris on the Pussy Posse’s private jet after the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show next week.
Seen above making the face that she and every working housekeeper makes whenever they think of Naomi Campbell, Tyra Banks has brought out the dead, dusty horse that is her feud with Naomi and continued to beat it like Naomi beating a maid with a BlackBerry. Tyra and the father of her kid, Erik Asla, were guests on the Norwegian-Swedish talk show Skavlan last week and their conversation turned to how she was terrorized by Naomi back in the day.
Those tapes of Donald Trump spewing out verbal snot while on the set of Celebrity Apprentice may never touch the ears of the public, but that isn’t stopping staffers from anonymously spilling shit out to the media. Several employees of the Celebrity Apprentice claim that the flambéed glob of dick curd regularly made fun of Marlee Matlin for being deaf and even dared to shit talk about one of Pimp Mama Kris’ kin.
The latest leg of Melissa Etheridge’s “Angelina Jolie Is A Nasty Demon Cuntress Tour” made a stop on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live last night and she debuted a brand new song that I’m sure will soon be #1 on Angelina Jolie’s iTunes playlist. Melissa was on Andy’s SiriusXM radio show on Monday and she said that the allegations that her old friend Brad Pitt went crazy on Maddox are “completely unfounded” and she accused Team St. Angie of leaking fake stories to the media. Melissa also brought up how during Angie’s BBP (Before Brad Pitt) days, she and Billy Bob Thornton acted real nasty toward Laura Dern. On WWHL last night, Melissa said that Team St. Angie went after her about the things she said and she responded to them with a lil’ diddy!
A couple of months ago, Allison brought us the tale of the bunny shit-brained Playboy Playmate named Dani Mathers who thought it would be a good idea to take a picture of a naked lady in the locker room of her gym and put it on Snapchat with the note, “If I can’t unsee this then you can’t either.” The only thing I couldn’t unsee is that dumb fuck move. The lady had no idea that Dani took her picture, and Dani later mouth sharted out some dingle about how it was an “accident” and supposed to be a joke between friends. That little joke got Dani Mathers banned from all L.A. Fitness locations and she was pink-slipped from her radio job. The police also opened up an investigation against her. It is such a big mess that not enough Hugh Hefner’s former clean-up supervisor Holly Madison can clean it up. And it may get worse for Dum Dum Dani, because the lady whose naked body was made fun of has been tracked down by the cops and she wants that evil bunny bitch to pay!
An Actress Called Tom Cruise A “Narcissistic Baby” During A Girlfriend Audition And Lived To Tell About It
And now it’s time to add yet another name to the already miles-long list of people who are willing to pull back the curtain and expose just how totally messy Scientology is. This time it’s an actress, voice-over artist and comedian named Cathy Schenkelberg and she spoke to The Daily Mail about it.
Cathy spilled some barley water-steeped tea to The Daily Mail to promote her one-woman Scientology tell-all show called “Squeeze My Cans.” The tea included how Cathy talked some shit about Tom Cruise during a girlfriend audition. Although to be fair, Cathy says she didn’t even know she was auditioning to be the next Mrs. Tom Cruise.