Category: You Got Got
Rah Digga Takes A Swipe At Iggy Azalea For Rapping In A Fake Accent
Rapper, former Flipmode Squad member, and Rasheeda from Carmen: A Hop Hopera (really the only credit that matters) Rah Digga recently spit some truth so hot about Australian rapper Iggy Azalea, you could deep-fry an Outback Bloomin’ Onion in it. During an interview with Gossip Viv from This is 50 Radio (via E!), Rah let it be known that she thinks the answer to Iggy’s question of “Who dat? Who dat?” is ‘A White Chicks-looking kangaroo-riding pantyhose-wrapped bundle of LIES‘:
“Iggy Azalea, I can’t really get into her. Because it’s just not real to me. There is a white girl from Australia that spits in an Australian accent, and her name is Chelsea Jane. That I can get into. Teach me Australian Hip-Hop culture. Don’t come to America and try to convince me that you’re Gangsta Boo. We’re not going to believe you if you’re trying to convince us that you’re out here trap shooting.”
“That’s the problem. They’re too many passes being given. When did it become wrong to call out people that don’t write their own rhymes? When did that become a crime in hip-hop?”
In case you’re wondering what rapping in an Australian accent sounds like, this is Chelsea Jane (who might actually be the long-lost triplet sister of Daniel and Nathan Sims).
Naturally, Iggy decided to respond to Rah’s accusations that she’s doing a spot-on impression of J-Roc from Trailer Park Boys by throwing some subtle shade on Twitter:
And Now For The Time Justin Timberlake Threatened To Kick Dax Shepard’s Ass On The Set Of Punk’d
I’m sure you’re like “Punk’d? How current. What’s next, a BREAKING story from the set of Pimp My Ride?“, but honestly, this story is worth traveling back in time to 2003. Dust off your Von Dutch trucker hat and grab a Pepsi Twist (remember that shit? It was like drinking cola-flavored Pledge), it’s time to talk about that time Justin Timberlake threatened to fight Dax Shepard during the filming of Punk’d!
During an interview with WTF with Marc Maron (via Uproxx), Kristen Bell’s husband admitted that he used to be a bit of a rage case and get into fights a lot. Ashton Kutcher knew this when he hired him for MTV’s Punk’d, and he warned him that no matter how messy shit might get with a celebrity during a prank (like if the person being pranked can’t take a joke and turns Punk’d into Punch’d), he wasn’t allowed to fight back. Ashton doesn’t have that kind of insurance, brah! Dax says it was never really a problem, since most people laughed it off when they found out it was all a joke. Except for one very butthurt boybander named Justin Timberlake, who wanted to whoop a trick, NSYNC-style.
Girlfriend-Beating MMA Fighter War Machine Has Been Hunted Down, But Not By Dog The Bounty Hunter
War Machine, the roided-up human garbage person and MMA fighter who attempted to rape/succeeded in beating the shit out of his ex-girlfriend, porn star Christy Mack, has finally been apprehended after spending a week running from the Las Vegas police like a Monster-fueled fugitive coward. And remember how Dog the Bounty Hunter said he was going to be the one to do it? Yeah, never happened. TMZ says that War Machine was captured yesterday almost 300 miles away at a hotel in Simi Valley, California by U.S. Marshals (hands up if you also imagined he was pursued by Tommy Lee Jones), who found him sitting alone on a hotel bed with a pizza and a small amount of cash. Pizza and cash? He definitely seems more like a bag of Jack Links and a prepaid VISA card kind of dude to me. Continue reading
Anderson Cooper Goes In On Star Jones For Calling Him A Stunt Queen
While some of us were lighting sparklers from our b-holes to celebrate The Silver Fox casually giving up his spot in the glass closet, that Aqualish-looking ass bitch Star Jones said on Today that she thinks he completely choreographed his coming out for maximum attention and to pull up the ratings of his talk show. On today’s episode of Anderson, the Rhoda to Anderson’s Mary, Andy Cohen, brought up his coming out, and the Silver Fox said that the only thing that tore a strip of silver leaf off of his fox hole was what Star said. Anderson stuffed some dried bitchiness into a tea bag, dropped that tea bag in a mug full of lukewarm tap water and then served it to Star Jones:
“I will say and I actually haven’t mentioned this, the only thing that did kind of annoy me and actually it annoyed my mom who brought it up to me, Star Jones of all people, I know you mentioned it on your show. Star Jones of all people, I haven’t thought about Star Jones in I don’t know how long. I was unaware she was even on TV still but she apparently shows up on a morning show on Today or Good Morning America, The Today Show. Anyway, out of the blue Star Jones said after I sent this email Star Jones said this was a ratings ploy by me to boost ratings.”
As Dirt Star Jones ran that burn under cold water, Anderson said that she’s obviously letting her ass lips do the talking, because what she said was a pile of dingles and didn’t even make sense.
“That’s why it so annoyed me because of all the ways to boost ratings, like if I was wanting to boost ratings I would have waited to announce it on a very special episode, that would have been promo’d for weeks and weeks and there would have been commercials, ‘Anderson’s huge announcement,’ and you would have a cut away of the audience but instead I was in Africa on assignment for 60 Minutes, I sent an email to a friend of mine who put it on a website. I gave no interviews about it, I never talked about it. I wasn’t even on the air for days afterward and so suddenly Star Jones, who as memory serves, in terms of boosting ratings, I seem to recall her hocking her wedding every single day to get free products when she was on The View and I seem to recall her lying about her gastric bypass surgery and making everybody else lie about it as well. So for her to suddenly emerge out of the shadows and suddenly attack me for this, I couldn’t believe it.
And my mom was like, ‘Who is Star Jones?’ Anyway, so I can’t even believe I am bringing this up because I don’t even want to give Star Jones the attention. I never planned on talking about this but we invited Star Jones to come on this show and she turned us down.”
Star Jones is a scared bitch and that’s why she can’t face the Silver Fox. But you know, it sounds like Anderson still has some shit to say to her, so I’ll be happy to slip on an E.T. costume, throw a black wig on my head and let him slap me, whip me and shade me like I’m Star Jones.
Star’s dumb ass is probably already getting punished for this anyway. I can only imagine the cuntified text messages that Gay Al Reynolds is sending her. Now that Star has pissed off the Silver Fox off, there’s no way Gay Al will ever get an invitation to Anderson’s Sunday afternoon tea party. Gay Al’s gay social life is OVAH!
Kristen Stewart Is Sorry For Cheating On Sparkle Vamp
No, that dyslexic butt fuck picture never gets told to me.
Kristen Stewart gave People an open letter to Robert Pattinson where she slurred out a stream of sowwies for dimming the sparkle on his nipple by letting her 41-year-old married director make out with her cooch in her parked car. The statement of words almost made my eyes roll to the left and roll to the right, so bitch definitely wrote it herself:
“I’m deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I’ve caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected. This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I’m so sorry.”
Well, I love how it takes UsWeekly catching her with a pussy full of married man mouth to admit that she’s humping on RPattz. Hopefully, Kristen Stewart’s dumb ass learned a lesson those of us with common sense learned naturally: When you’re screwing on a side trick, don’t do it out in the damn open for everyone to see. Take that shit to a Super 8 motel room. That’s what they’re there for. Seriously, bitch can’t even cheat right.
UPDATE: Rupert Sanders burped out his own statement, “I am utterly distraught about the pain I have caused my family. My beautiful wife and heavenly children are all I have in this world. I love them with all my heart. I am praying that we can get through this together.” And I’m pretty sure his wife is REALLY utterly distraught about the pain of knowing that her husband fucked her over with the humanized version of a skater boy’s ripped-off scab.
Woody Allen’s Son Is Funny
The scent of burnt turtle anus and melted plastic eyeglass frames was in the air yesterday when Mia Farrow re-tweeted the third-degree burn Ronan Farrow dropped on his dad Woody Allen. This shit is more awkward than the Father’s Day lap dance Courtney Stodden gave to Doug Hutchison.
There you were thinking that your relationship with your biological father is so damn dysfunctional that instead of sending him a card yesterday, you sent him an invoice for all the booze you sucked down throughout the year to deal with all your daddy issues. Ronan has you beat! Ronan Farrow is like the smartest person alive, graduated from college at 15, works with UNICEF, inherited more Mia genes than Woody genes and he can drop kick some shade for days. I would say I’m in love, but I don’t know if I can fall in love with a dude whose full name is Satchel Ronan O’Sullivan Farrow.
And here’s a few pictures of Satchel’s brother-in-law hanging out with Soon-Yi and their two daughters in Beverly Hills the other day. I don’t if it’s the creepy look on Woody’s face or the “Bitch, you’re going to die” shank eye the Heather Matarazzo-looking one is throwing at us, but these pictures make me want to scream for an adult.
