Category: You Goofed

Applebee’s Apologizes After CNN Aired Its Ad Along With Coverage Of Russian’s Invasion Of Ukraine

February 25, 2022 / Posted by:

Applebee’s and CNN got some shit PR yesterday as Russia began its invasion of Ukraine. Wondering how that’s related? CNN decided that they needed to get those advertising dollars but did not want to cut away from their coverage of the attack on Ukraine, so they combined the two. And they got shit for it. Well, Applebee’s doesn’t appreciate being the newest Internet meme and so they have suspended running ads on CNN.

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Leonardo DiCaprio’s Charity Is Being Urged To Return Embezzled Donations

September 1, 2016 / Posted by:

I can picture it now. A panicked Leonardo DiCaprio runs down into the lower deck of the S.S. Snatch Catcher and throws his Oscar at his forever life intern Lukas Haas. “HIDE THIS! They can come for my money, they can come for my panty models, but they can never take my precious!!

Earlier this summer, Leonardo DiCaprio’s name popped up in the news in a bad way. No, it wasn’t because everyone on his yacht got food poisoning after Jonah Hill sneezed on the on-boat buffet. It’s actually way more serious than that, and it could cost him some dollars in his bank account.

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Jennifer Lopez Might Have Dumped Casper Smart Over A UFC Fight

August 25, 2016 / Posted by:

We found out yesterday that Jennifer Lopez had recently packed a duffel bag with Casper Smart’s things and once again told him his boy toy services were no longer needed. Sources claimed there was no drama to their breakup; simply that JLo and Casper’s relationship had come to a “natural end.” It was only a matter of time before we discovered what Casper did to mess up his kept man status, and it turns out it involved ditching JLo in the Hamptons for a UFC fight in Las Vegas.

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The Beyhive Is In Trouble With The LAPD For Possibly Hacking Rachel Roy

August 1, 2016 / Posted by:

After two weeks worth of drama about Taylor with the scaly skin, I’m almost happy to welcome back a story about Becky with the good hair. Shortly after Beyonce maybe called out her husband’s maybe-sidepiece in Lemonade, The Beyhive wasted no time in attacking everyone they thought was Becky. The first person they came for was Rachel Roy, who faced their wrath after posting a cryptic message about good hair and #nodramaqueens on Instagram. The Beyhive attacked her Wikipedia page and her social media accounts. They might have also attacked her email and iCloud, which has prompted an investigation by the LAPD.

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Someone Clearly Missed The Astronomy Unit In 3rd Grade Science Class

April 27, 2016 / Posted by:

I don’t know if all the weed Miley Cyrus has smoked has killed the part of her brain that stores the stuff she learned in elementary school, or if it’s because the tutor on the set of Hannah Montana skipped science class all together because she was afraid a person like Miley would be predisposed to turning the classroom into a meth lab. But Miley Cyrus clearly has a problem identifying planets.

Yesterday, the humanized version of a Nevada pull-tab ticket posted a picture of her newest tattoo on Instagram. It’s the one on her arm in the middle of the cat and what appears to be some kind of double-ended alien vibrator. Now, if I asked you to guess what planet was on Miley’s arm, you’d probably guess Saturn. Right? It’s a planet surrounded by a huge ring, so it’s got to be Saturn. Well, according to Miley, it’s Jupiter. Miley captioned the picture “#lilbbjupiter“, and a whole day (and several people in the comments screaming “DID YOU MEAN SATURN?“) later, she still hasn’t changed it.

See, this is one of those times where it’s so obvious that on-set learning can’t duplicate the regular school experience. In my school, we learned about the solar system in the same way we learned pretty much everything: by spending an entire week working on a model! We made a bunch of janky paper mache planets, painted them up all pretty-like, then tied them to a wire coat hanger and proceeded to watch them fall on everyone’s heads because nobody tied the strings tight enough. That the kind of learning that stays with you. I can’t remember what I ate for breakfast this morning, but I sure as hell can remember that Saturn is the one with all the fancy-ass rings and hurts like hell if you catch it on the face.

E! News says that Miley isn’t technically wrong when she says that the planet on her arm with a ring around it is Jupiter. In 1979, scientists discovered that Jupiter had a few tiny rings of its own. Yeah, I’m calling “Sure, Jan” on that one. That’s like me bragging about having money because I can withdraw $20 from my checking account without it going into overdraft. I mean, I do it, but it doesn’t make it true.

Pic: Instagram

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