Oh how I hate Duchess Meghan. At night, she gets to listen to the sound of her now royal vagine cooing out the chorus to Hallelujah as it rubs on Prince Hot Ginge’s ginger crotch scepter. And during the day, she gets to put on
an Ann Taylor LOFT a Givenchy ensemble for her “day job” where she gets to work events with THE QUEEN who definitely mutters shit like, “Fuck this bollocks arse bloody arse blooming dumb shite, I could be watching EastEnders while Philly sucks on mi toes,” through her gritted teeth as she puts on a manufactured smile for her loyal subjects. Duchess Meghan is living the life, but she jacked that up today. This is the biggest act of disrespect by an American against the crown since those New England settlers broke up with Britain. This is even worse, actually!
Snapchat isn’t having such a great 2018. The queen of their target market (vapid millennials) might have sank their stock with a single tweet. And now they’re taking heat for an ad that they ran featuring a joke about slapping Rihanna, that also just so happened to co-star a joke about Chris Brown.
Tiffany Haddish might have just learned a valuable lesson. You may meet her majesty Beyoncé, but much like Fight Club or Michelle Williams, you do not talk about it. Earlier this month, Tiffany spilled the details of meeting Beyoncé for the first time. The juiciest part was that Tiffany claimed to bear witness to Beyoncé asserting her dominance over an actress that made the grave mistake of getting flirty with Jay-Z. Beyoncé might have let Tiffany have it in a song.
Harvey Weinstein is now walking back the things his legal team said about Meryl Streep and Jennifer Lawrence in their attempt to block a class action lawsuit from happening. Both Meryl and Jennifer were extremely pissed that Harvey’s attorneys would use them of examples of women who worked with Harvey and didn’t get harassed or assaulted. Public statements were released, and they were essentially formal PR ways of saying “Keep my name out of your mouth.” Harvey’s team also dragged Gwyneth Paltrow into it, but she hasn’t responded to him. It was a low move, and that’s saying something, considering that I’m pretty sure Harvey’s team is working in the foundation under the sub-basement of good taste at this point.
Two years ago, Shaun White was slapped with a lawsuit from Lena Zawaideh, the former drummer of his band Bad Things, accusing him of, well, bad things. Like sending her numerous pictures of penises (not his, but still), and forcing her to watch porn. Shaun White won the gold medal for men’s halfpipe at the Winter Olympics in PyeongChang. While being interviewed during a press conference about his third career gold medal, he was asked about those allegations. Let’s just say he didn’t get a gold medal for how he decided to answer the question.
This has happened before, but this time the “Former TV show cast member turned massive huge life mess” we’re talking about is Jeremy Jackson, aka Hobie Buchannon from Baywatch.
In October 2015, we were reminded that Jeremy still had a problem with stabbing people after he stabbed a woman near his home in Los Angeles. Jeremy was trying to steal the woman’s boyfriend’s car, and when she stepped in, he stabbed her in her back, arm, and leg, before running away. TMZ says Jeremy recently took care of that arrest and it ended in a plea deal. Jeremy has been sentenced to 270 days in L.A. County jail and five years probation. He will also be required to complete 52 anger management classes and 52 AA meetings.
If Jeremy hadn’t plead guilty, he could have faced up to seven years in jail.
The judge gave Jeremy 109 days jail credit, which means he’ll be spending 161 days locked up. TMZ says good behavior could have him released in May. If he completes everything, his felony charge could be dropped to a misdemeanor.
I know jail time is jail time, but a month? For stabbing someone multiple times after you get caught trying to make off with their car? That seems a little light to me. Maybe this is yet another case of “Famous TV/movie person gets a slap on the wrist for breaking the law in Los Angeles.” If so, then as a society we need to agree to set some standards for that. Being Hobie from Baywatch should only grant you so many free passes.