Category: You Fucked Up

Ryan Lochte Has Been Banned From Swimming For 14 Months For Getting A Prohibited Injection

July 23, 2018 / Posted by:

If I had to guess what makes the Ryan Lochte swimming machine run, I would probably say a six-pack of high-sugar Monster energy drinks, an order of mozzarella sticks from a bar, a bottle of tanning oil, and a whole chlorine puck. All the essential nutrients and energy a brah needs to whip around the pool. And according to USA Today, Ryan does an IV infusion too and that’s a major no-no with the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency. Ryan has been suspended from swimming because of it. The worst part is, Ryan stupidly left all the evidence out in the open on social media.

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GASP! SCREAM! GASP! Duchess Meghan Got Into The Car Before THE QUEEN! 

June 14, 2018 / Posted by:

Oh how I hate Duchess Meghan. At night, she gets to listen to the sound of her now royal vagine cooing out the chorus to Hallelujah as it rubs on Prince Hot Ginge’s ginger crotch scepter. And during the day, she gets to put on an Ann Taylor LOFT a Givenchy ensemble for her “day job” where she gets to work events with THE QUEEN who definitely mutters shit like, “Fuck this bollocks arse bloody arse blooming dumb shite, I could be watching EastEnders while Philly sucks on mi toes,” through her gritted teeth as she puts on a manufactured smile for her loyal subjects. Duchess Meghan is living the life, but she jacked that up today. This is the biggest act of disrespect by an American against the crown since those New England settlers broke up with Britain. This is even worse, actually!

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Beyoncé Might Have Slapped Tiffany Haddish On The Wrist In A New Song

March 2, 2018 / Posted by:

Tiffany Haddish might have just learned a valuable lesson. You may meet her majesty Beyoncé, but much like Fight Club or Michelle Williams, you do not talk about it. Earlier this month, Tiffany spilled the details of meeting Beyoncé for the first time. The juiciest part was that Tiffany claimed to bear witness to Beyoncé asserting her dominance over an actress that made the grave mistake of getting flirty with Jay-Z. Beyoncé might have let Tiffany have it in a song.

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Harvey Weinstein is Sorry For Mentioning Meryl Streep and Jennifer Lawrence

February 23, 2018 / Posted by:

Harvey Weinstein is now walking back the things his legal team said about Meryl Streep and Jennifer Lawrence in their attempt to block a class action lawsuit from happening. Both Meryl and Jennifer were extremely pissed that Harvey’s attorneys would use them of examples of women who worked with Harvey and didn’t get harassed or assaulted. Public statements were released, and they were essentially formal PR ways of saying “Keep my name out of your mouth.” Harvey’s team also dragged Gwyneth Paltrow into it, but she hasn’t responded to him. It was a low move, and that’s saying something, considering that I’m pretty sure Harvey’s team is working in the foundation under the sub-basement of good taste at this point.

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Shaun White Is Sorry For Calling The Sexual Harassment Allegations Against Him “Gossip

February 14, 2018 / Posted by:

Two years ago, Shaun White was slapped with a lawsuit from Lena Zawaideh, the former drummer of his band Bad Things, accusing him of, well, bad things. Like sending her numerous pictures of penises (not his, but still), and forcing her to watch porn. Shaun White won the gold medal for men’s halfpipe at the Winter Olympics in PyeongChang. While being interviewed during a press conference about his third career gold medal, he was asked about those allegations. Let’s just say he didn’t get a gold medal for how he decided to answer the question.

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