Hank Azaria has been the voice of Kwik-E-Mart owner Apu Nahasapeemapetilon on The Simpsons since the very first season all the way back in the olden days of 1990. Over the years, there’s been hate about Hank voicing a stereotypical Indian character and many think it’s some Mickey-Rooney-In-Breakfast-At-Tiffany’s foolery. But the hate got louder after the release of a documentary called The Problem with Apu, which was written by comedian Hari Kondabolu. The Simpsons responded in a way that should be featured in a book called How To Respond To A Controversy In The Worst Possible Way. They made Lisa Simpson be the one to basically tell everyone who has a problem with Apu to go down to the Kwik-E-Mart and get themselves some Aspirin to crush up and sprinkle on their hurt butts.
Hank was on The Late Show last night to promote his other show Brockmire, and the first thing he talked about after sitting down was how beautiful the theater is. I think that was his way of saying, “Can’t we just talk about these plush suits and that gorgeous ceiling and please, please, please not mention the name that rhymes with Achu?” But Stephen Colbert went right into how many South Asians cringe at the thought of Apu.
If you ask Kim Cattrall, I’m sure she’d say that her greatest, most challenging acting role of her career was the one where she acted like she didn’t want to spit into Sarah Jessica Parker’s cosmo while filming Sex and the City. But if you ask Sarah Jessica Parker, like Vulture recently did, that smile plastered on her face in the pic above is anything but fake. SJP denies that the claws ever came out during the filming of SATC or after.
ColiScar isn’t a great celebrity couple name (are any of them, really?), but I’m going with it, because when you look at it real quick, it reads as “CuloScar.”
It’s been a little under a year since Colin Jost of Saturday Night Live became the object of jealousy for a million nerd boners by wet humping on Black Widow. Since then, there’s been riveting sighting after riveting sighting of Colin and Scarlett Johansson sucking face. I guess things are serious enough for them to agree to forever be bonded in movie premiere pics, because ScarJo brought ColiJo (I refuse to call him CoJo since there is only one that matters to me) as her date to the premiere of Nerd Movie: Will Make Infinity Money in L.A. last night.
It looks like the only true thing that Khloe Kartrashian will ever get out of Tristan Thompson is a living Instagram pic accessory (that’s Kartrashian for “child“.)
Because Khlozilla is so “hood,” I fully expected her to name her 4-day-old daughter Kompton Kardashian. But instead of doing that, she brought on endless jokes by naming her poor baby True Thompson. I guess ISwearTristanThompsonIsntCheatingTrash Thompson didn’t fit on the birth certificate. The baby’s name might be True, but baby’s daddy is far fucking from it. The kid’s nickname should be “Wishful Thinking,” because True is something that Tristan will never be to Khlozilla.
Tru Davies better call a lawyer.
Not only is Khloe’s baby the only True thing between her and her wandering dick-having cheating slut of a man, but that baby is also the only True thing in the Kartrashian family.
When all the shit came out about Tristan Thompson’s dick paying a visit to every cooch that wasn’t attached to his latest pregnant girlfriend, I thought it was all part of Pimp Mama Kris’ diabolical plan to oust him from the family so that her newest little cooing ATM would get the last name Kardashian. But I was wrong. Besides, Khloe couldn’t name her daughter True if she gave True the last name Kardashian. It would be impossible. I mean, every time you type the words “True” and “Kardashian” next to each other, it automatically auto-corrects to False Kardashian since there’s nothing true about the koven.
UPDATE: Pimp Mama Kris claims that “True” is a family name, but since it came from the mouth of PMK, I’m going to say that this fun fact is a false fact!
I’m so excited to welcome my precious little granddaughter True!!! FUN FACT… my Grandfather’s name on my Dad’s side was True Otis Houghton….my real Dad’s name was Robert True Houghton…so i am so excited Khloe named her daughter True!!! #lovebug #familytradition #family pic.twitter.com/MFheCTYnb6
— Kris Jenner (@KrisJenner) April 16, 2018
Tyra Banks finally admitted what anyone who has seen her senior yearbook picture knew. Which is that the nose currently on Tyra Banks’ face isn’t her original nose. And in true Tyra fashion, the explanation of why she did it is over-the-top.
After Taylor Swift released her disgusting pro-Tetanus video for Delicate, the comparisons came in fast. It was compared to Fatboy Slim’s Weapon of Choice video, Sia’s video for Chandelier, and someone on Twitter even said that it reminded them of Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face. I immediately slid into that person’s DMs with a coupon for an MRI since they’re obviously suffering from some kind of awful brain disorder that causes them to make ILLEGAL comparisons like that. But what Delicate got compared to the most is Kenzo’s 2016 perfume ad, which starred Andie MacDowell’s daughter Margaret Qualley and was directed by Spike Jonze (who also directed the Weapon of Choice video). Kenzo maaaay have responded to people saying that they should file a grand theft charge against Taylor stealing their idea.