For about a month now, Justin Theroux and Emma Stone have been sucked into a rumor that their friendship is a lot friendlier than either of them will let on. E! News thinks they’ve gotten to the bottom of things, and they say the two are platonic.
Justin and Emma have been seen most recently in France for a work obligation related to their respective deals with Louis Vuitton. Once source says that they’re just hanging out as friends “and colleagues were with them during the day [on Monday].”
Justin has also been “spotted” with fellow face of LV, Laura Harrier. They might possibly be dating, but it’s not serious. Another source says that Justin is just casually dating.
“Justin is hanging out and having the time of his life. He’s casually dating, but it’s nothing more. He’s in a great place and very happy. He’s enjoying being social and meeting people from all walks of life. He is excited about doing new things and traveling. He’s looking forward to a great summer of fun and just seeing where it leads.”
The source adds that he’s “letting loose” for the first time in several years because he doesn’t have anyone else “to be responsible for or to report back to” and he’s “moved on” from Jennifer Aniston.
I hope the source was serious when they said Justin is being social with people from all walks of life. I know I would be delighted to trade in a week of “Justin spotted canoodling with Emma” to “Justin caught dry humping on a beach towel with Dame Judi Dench.”
Even though a stream of chunky fucked-up shit has spewed out of Roseanne Barr’s Twitter hole for years, ABC still brought her back to star in the revival of Roseanne, which turned out to be a big hit for them and got renewed for a second season. Roseanne Barr was back!!! All she really had to do was not say anything racist on Twitter, but she just couldn’t help herself, and ABC shit-canned Jabba the Trump’s second favorite comedy after Fox & Friends. Well, if the KKK wants to book Roseanne as headliner of their annual KKKomedy Festival, they’re going to have to go directly through her, because her talent agency has also announced that they’re done with her.
Taylor Swift And Katy Perry Made Up, But She’s Still Crying Over Getting “Bullied” By Kim Kartrashian And Kanye West
The stupid feud that started over a stolen back-up dancer (or John Mayer, or Taylor Swift telling Katy Perry she has cankles in front of the entire homeroom, or Katy Perry telling Taylor Swift her split ends are gross in front of the entire homeroom, or Taylor Swift stealing Katy Perry’s panties and freezing them at Becca Moyer’s slumber party) has finally come to an end. Katy Perry said publicly said before that she wants to be done with the junior high school cafeteria tussle with Taylor Swift. Taylor hasn’t said anything, but yesterday was the first night of her Reputation tour and she has empty seats to fill, so she posted an Instagram story of her opening up an olive branch from Katy. Are we sure that the olive branch wasn’t covered with laxative fumes that caused Taylor Swift to get the violent shits during her show? I mean, I did see some clips from her show in Glendale, AZ last night and she was dancing in a stiff “clenching my ass cheeks” sort of way. But then again, doesn’t she always?
Hank Azaria has been the voice of Kwik-E-Mart owner Apu Nahasapeemapetilon on The Simpsons since the very first season all the way back in the olden days of 1990. Over the years, there’s been hate about Hank voicing a stereotypical Indian character and many think it’s some Mickey-Rooney-In-Breakfast-At-Tiffany’s foolery. But the hate got louder after the release of a documentary called The Problem with Apu, which was written by comedian Hari Kondabolu. The Simpsons responded in a way that should be featured in a book called How To Respond To A Controversy In The Worst Possible Way. They made Lisa Simpson be the one to basically tell everyone who has a problem with Apu to go down to the Kwik-E-Mart and get themselves some Aspirin to crush up and sprinkle on their hurt butts.
Hank was on The Late Show last night to promote his other show Brockmire, and the first thing he talked about after sitting down was how beautiful the theater is. I think that was his way of saying, “Can’t we just talk about these plush suits and that gorgeous ceiling and please, please, please not mention the name that rhymes with Achu?” But Stephen Colbert went right into how many South Asians cringe at the thought of Apu.
If you ask Kim Cattrall, I’m sure she’d say that her greatest, most challenging acting role of her career was the one where she acted like she didn’t want to spit into Sarah Jessica Parker’s cosmo while filming Sex and the City. But if you ask Sarah Jessica Parker, like Vulture recently did, that smile plastered on her face in the pic above is anything but fake. SJP denies that the claws ever came out during the filming of SATC or after.
ColiScar isn’t a great celebrity couple name (are any of them, really?), but I’m going with it, because when you look at it real quick, it reads as “CuloScar.”
It’s been a little under a year since Colin Jost of Saturday Night Live became the object of jealousy for a million nerd boners by wet humping on Black Widow. Since then, there’s been riveting sighting after riveting sighting of Colin and Scarlett Johansson sucking face. I guess things are serious enough for them to agree to forever be bonded in movie premiere pics, because ScarJo brought ColiJo (I refuse to call him CoJo since there is only one that matters to me) as her date to the premiere of Nerd Movie: Will Make Infinity Money in L.A. last night.