A Video Of Jennifer Lawrence Drunkenly Working A Stripper Pole Came Out And She Has Something To Say About It
Radar posted a “BOMBSHELL WORLD EXCLUSIVE” video today of Jennifer Lawrence crawling, hanging on some guy, taking off her top and working the pole while looking Lohan levels of wasted at a strip club. The video brought a slight shrug out of me, because Jennifer Lawrence is 26 years old. Who hasn’t been fall down, work-the-pole drunk at a strip club at the age of 26, and again at the age of 27, and 27 and-a-half, and 29, and 30, and 32, and 34, and 35, etc… etc….
Miley Cyrus spent her last two albums hammering into our brains the point that she’s no longer Hannah Montana or a bubble gum pop puppet and is now an oh-so-edgy, pasties-wearing, Bernie Sanders-supporting, hip hop-loving, glitter-queefing acid raver chipmunk. But now that she’s out there selling her new single Malibu and her new album, she’s hammering into our brains the point that she’s no longer a strap-on-wearing twerk-a-nator and is now a fresh-faced, beach hair-having easy listening chanteuse who is totally not offensive. You hear that, Trump supporters? It’s safe to #BuyMalibuOniTunes.
Steve Harvey’s staff learned in a memo that went out this week that the next time they try to talk to him at work without making an appointment, his security guards will banish their asses away from his presence. Steve’s talk show is moving to L.A. from Chicago and he threw down some new rules, like not bothering him in the hallways or his dressing room or his makeup chair or anywhere else. The memo was probably leaked by a Chicago staff member who was pissed that Steve’s not taking them to L.A. Entertainment Tonight’s Kevin Frazier talked to Steve over the phone about the memo. Like the concept of Asian men being fuckable, Steve Harvey can’t grasp why his letter went everywhere, but he’s not sorry about it. Because whenever he was in his dressing room, he felt like he needed to put on prison stripes and fight a rat for a piece of stale bread. Poor Steve felt like a prisoner in his own dressing room.
Like a goth 7th grader who’s decided that being goth is stupid and it’s all about being an emo punk now, Miley Cyrus has grown from her twerking days and has replaced the marijuana pasties, rainbow clit cozies and purple horse tail butt plugs in her closet with Gunne Sax dresses, a banjo and cowboy boots. 90s MTV News reporter John Norris interviewed Miley for Billboard to promote her single Malibu, which comes out soon, and they talked about Trump, her weed sabbatical, her hate of manly manly men and her new singer-songwriter-y sound, which is totally different than John Mayer’s granola sound. Miley’s sound, look and tastes may have changed, but she’s still waaaaaaay cooler than everyone.
Janet Jackson Announces Her Return To Touring, But Well, You Better Check That Refund Policy Before Buying A Ticket
While everyone was distracted by the fuckery being served up at the Met Gala last night, Janet Jackson dropped yet another one of her “Announcements From Bed” videos for her fans. I swear, Janet and these POV videos. I’m sorry, Janet, but the only Jackson I want to know what it’s like to be on top of is that hot piece Jermaine.
While sounding exactly like Michael Jackson, Janet started off her video message by telling her brother Randy Jackson (who’s off camera) to shut his mouth after he pretty much called her a fatty fat ass. Then Janet let her fans know that she really did break up with her billionaire husband and they’re handling it in court right now. Once she got that news out of the way, Janet announced that the tour she pressed “pause” on to have her kid, Issa, is back on and will start up again on September 7, 2017 in Lafayette, LA. Hmm… I’m sure this news has nothing to do with that lawsuit from a fan who accused Live Nation of refusing to issue refunds because the tour was “rescheduled.”
Just as long as she’s running and not driving, amirite?
Caitlyn Jenner is still promotoing her memoir The Secrets Of My Life, and last night she appeared on CNN Tonight with Don Lemon. Caitlyn often talks about politics and still supports a certain undercooked chicken strip. So it should come as no surprise that she was asked if she’s going to start kissing babies and handing out buttons that say IT’S GREAT WITH CAIT. According to Caitlyn Jenner, that day could be come in the next year or two.