Jeremy Renner has made enough money pretending to shoot arrows in the Avengers movies that he could pay someone $5,000 a minute to carry him on their shoulders as he carries his daughter on his, but no, he’s not going to do that. Jeremy Renner doesn’t want his 4-year-old daughter Ava to grow up in typical rich kid fashion. Sorry, Ava: no gold-dipped animal crackers for you (I didn’t grow up rich; is this something rich kids eat?). Or maybe you Jeremy will allow her those gold animal crackers, but she’s going to have to work for them.
When Andrew Garfield did lazy drag while lip synching his sad wig off at a drag show hosted by Michelle Visage, I felt like he confirmed to the world that he’s 100% straight with those 90s frat boy dance moves. But inside of Andrew is a gay man, and I don’t mean that he’s a bottom and an actual gay man is inside of him.
Seen above dressed like the messy mess that she is, Lindsay Lohan took a break from Photoshopping in pictures of Parasite Hilton and Beyonce at her birthday party to tell everyone to leave Trump alone and to stop bullying him. Says the trick who has been bullying her lips with a filler needle for years.
If while flipping channels you’ve come across heave-inducing shows like Donnie Loves Jenny and another Duck Dynasty spin-off, and figured that A&E has run out of ideas and given up, think again, ho. A&E has given the people what we really need and want: a reality show where Rob Lowe and his sons travel the country investigating paranormal shit and unsolved mysteries. What they should’ve investigated is why A&E gave Rob Lowe a show about paranormal shit. Now that is an unsolved mystery that needs solving.
Azealia Banks has apparently put away the shank she waved in Iggy Azalea’s direction for years, and those two wrecks may have finally trashed their overcooked beef and made up. But as Azealia (temporarily) scratches Iggy’s name off of a list of enemies to cast a black magic spell on, Halsey has stood up and declared to the world that along with good taste and nice wigs, she wants nothing to do with Iggy Azalea.
Somewhere Ted Haggard is reading that headline and falling in love with 19-year-old Tom Cruise.
Curtis Armstrong is best known to me as Bert Viola from Moonlighting, but he was also Booger in Revenge of the Nerds was in Risky Business with a then 19-year-old Tommy Cruise. Curtis wrote his memoir, Revenge of the Nerd, and an actor can’t put out a memoir unless they fill it with juicy shit about other actors. So Curtis wrote about working with Tommy and said that he was a strict square who never wanted to go to the bar with them. Before Tommy was the Jesus of Scientology, he was reading about the real Jesus. Curtis writes that Tommy was a born again and like any good born again, he balanced his bible study with getting his dick sucked by randoms.