A Taylor Swift YouTube fan channel posted a recent interview Taylor conducted with Germany’s RTL to promote her performance on the Germany’s Next Top Model finale, which is a pretty random sentence if I’ve ever written one. During the interview, Taylor was asked how she handles the criticism one faces when they release new material to the world. I always pictured Taylor Swift as the type who has a giant countdown clock set every time she drops a new music video, and immediately discharges a team of computer-literate cats who immediately start scanning the internet for feedback, and classifying each critic from “Squad Worthy” to “Shit List Supreme.” That wouldn’t be the case.
Jennifer Aniston had a small reunion of some of her exes at her 50th birthday party back in February, and one of those exes included Brad Pitt. So of course the tabloids and people wondered if their genitals were going to reunite since Aniston is definitely hungry for some Pitt even though she had that ass already and he’s the father of a million children now. But then sources said that Brad and Jen are just friends and got friendly again after he reached out when her mother died. And while struttin’ to his car the other day, a pap asked him if he and Aniston are getting back together and he said the words we all say when finding out that he and Angelina Jolie still aren’t damn divorced all the way.
Pour out that venti Americano with a splash of almond milk from Starbucks (actually don’t, because that mess probably cost you like $45 and there’s no need to waste it on these two), because Ben Affleck and Lindsay Shookus have left us SHOOKus once again by delivering the sequel to their first break up. They have ended things again. My thoughts and prayers are with the entire coffee industry who are definitely shaking in fear over their future now that coffee’s IT couple has broken up. The shoulder of Juan Valdez’s donkey is probably covered in his tears as he cries on his sidekick over this awful news.
Deadline reports that the richest couple to be on the run from the law since 2014 Beyoncé and Jay-Z, were finally honored for being huge gay icons when they finally received their very own Vanguard Award at the 30th Annual GLAAD Media Awards last night at the Beverly Hilton. When it was first announced that Bey-Z were being honored for their contribution to LGBTQ rights, many wanted the receipts. But well, what gay hasn’t shaken their hand to Single Ladies on YouTube? And I’m sure their presence helped GLAAD to sell many tables at their fancy gala. So there’s that!
If you just bought a wig made out of splintered straw, a thick black runny marker for your eyes, toothpicks to keep your eyelids open, and a black turtleneck, then I’m going to assume two things. 1. You watched HBO’s The Inventor. And 2. You’re getting a really early jumpstart on Halloween by putting your Elizabeth Holmes costume together.
Elizabeth Holmes is that fallen fauxllionaire who scammed people into thinking she invented Post-Its. Oh wait, no, that’s another deep-voiced lying business woman (no offense to Romy White). Elizabeth Holmes is the Stanford dropout who got some of the country’s richest and most powerful pepaws to invest millions into some $35-printer-from-Staples looking ass machine that was supposed to run up to 200 tests with just one drop of blood. I bet if you put a drop of Elizabeth’s blood in there, it’ll tell you that it’s 100% snake oil. Actually, no it wouldn’t, because that would mean the machine worked, and we all know it didn’t.
STAINS’ shifty human cousin and her company, Theranos, lied about a lot of shit like being able to run 200 tests from one drop of blood, her Husky being a wolf, and some say she faked her Romy voice too. But Elizabeth’s family has used TMZ to defend her against the fake voice truthers, because the sound of her voice is what really matters here. And oh yes, they also defend her against the whole “defrauding investors and putting people’s health at risk” thing.
Duchess Kate officially became a member of the royal family in 2011 after what felt like CENTURIES of her fingers getting callouses on them from holding onto the last step on the ladder while waiting for Prince William to finally put Princess Diana’s ring on it. Duchess Kate fulfilled one of her job requirements by birthing out the future King of England, but for some reason, she’s apparently never done a one-on-one public event with THE QUEEN until today. I was going to say that Kate and THE QUEEN have probably had a few “girls nights” together, but Kate’s idea of a wild night is sipping white wine spritzers while brushing each other’s hair as a PG-13 rom-com plays on the TV, and THE QUEEN would rather do shots with the guards.