Like cockroaches and the load of laundry in the back corner of my closet, Woody Allen just doesn’t seem to want to go away. Amazon, which made a four-movie, $68 million deal with Woody, eventually called off that deal (for which Woody’s now suing them over), but that isn’t stopping him! Woody has somehow convinced a Spanish studio to finance a new movie, and he’s filming now in Spain.
Nothing makes a Hollywood A-lister squirm like being asked, “Why da fuq did you do this movie” after starring in a Woody Allen movie. Even after years of people questioning why anyone would star in a Woody movie since, well, he married his ex-wife’s stepdaughter and allegedly sexually abused his daughter, Dylan Farrow. That didn’t keep Timothée Chalamet, Selena Gomez, Elle Fanning, Jude Law, and Liev Schreiber from starring in A Rainy Day In New York, but those five have likely been kneeling in gratitude (OK, maybe not Jude) since Amazon, which produced the movie, still hasn’t released it. Now Woody is suing Amazon for $68 million, or what Jeff Bezos likes to call “pocket money.”
In news that surely has Ronan Farrow pissed he didn’t break first, we’re finding out Woody Allen may have spent most of his forties in an icky relationship with a girl young enough to be his daughter. In other news, the sky is blue. Anyone who saw Manhattan where Woody plays a 42-year-old who dates a 17-year-old (played by Mariel Hemmingway who said Woody tried to date her back then) has probably been wondering post-Soon-Yi Previn how close to reality that movie was. Today, we got confirmation from a woman named Babi Christina Engelhardt that the movie may as well been called “My Life With Woody.”
In an interview with the New York Times (via Vulture) about his appearance in the next Fantastic Beasts film, Jude Law revealed that he’s saddened that his and others’ work in Woody Allen’s movie A Rainy Day In New York will never be seen. Sometimes, Jude, it’s a good idea during interviews to let your publicist hurriedly throw their body inbetween you and the interviewer while shrieking “NEXT QUESTION, PLEASE!”
In April, Javier Bardem admitted during an interview that he had doubts about Dylan Farrow’s allegations against Woody Allen. Javier added that the only way he’d stop working with Woody is if there was evidence proving that Woody is a creep of the highest order. Javier worked with Woody on Vicky Cristina Barcelona, a movie in which his wife Penelope Cruz ended up winning a Best Supporting Actress Oscar. So clearly Woody has some kind of special, weird place in his heart. A heart that probably has received many messages from the brain asking, “Are you sure you want to keep that creep Woody around?”
Bigfoot, the Roswell UFO landing, the Bermuda Triangle, and who Ronan Farrow’s biological father is continue to be the most unsolved mysteries of our time. If you ask Woody Allen, he’ll tell you he’s Ronan’s father. However, if you were to also ask Woody to put some money down and bet on it, he’ll be pretty hesitant to call a bookie.