If the Oscars and the Emmys are your fancy old uncle who drinks expensive scotch and loves British shows on PBS, then the People’s Choice Awards are your aunt who drinks canned Bay Breezes and asks if you wanna get high in her LeBaron. The People’s Choice Awards are for the people, damn it, and they don’t need prestige or class or gowns that requires every inch of your intestines to be crammed into Spanx.
Blake Lively clearly knows this and after going full-fashion at the Golden Globes two weeks ago, she wore one of Britney Spears’ rejects to the People’s Choice Awards. It’s like she couldn’t find her glasses and just assumed the dress code on the PCA invitation said: “Come dressed as a dancer from a Bob Mackie-inspired cruise ship show who is trying to get fired.” She looks like the messiest pledge at a sorority for ravens.
Some people still don’t understand that you don’t have to try so hard at the People’s Choice Awards. Jennifer Lopez, I’m looking at you.
Last week, UsWeekly and E! News informed us that Minka Kelly may be going through another repeat case of douchematization when they reported that she was dating Wilmer Valderrama again. Minka and Wilmer went on a couple of dates back in 2012, and sources said that they were dating again, a month after he broke up with Demi Lovato. Minka finally talked about the rumor that she’s doing Fez. You can stop sending Minka pamphlets for the Damn, She Needs To Love Herself conference, because she denies they’re together again.
It’s been almost 3 months since Demi Lovato and Wilmer Valderrama called it quits on their very long (and sometimes very gross-ish) relationship. During that time, I kept expecting to read headlines like “Wilmer Valderrama seen on date with star of Disney’s Frankenstein In Tha House.” That never happened. Instead, it appears Wilmer is not only dating someone he’s dated before, but someone who was born in the same year as him. If the writers of Stranger Things need an idea for a third season, this is it.
A little over a month ago, 23-year-old semi-professional social media shit-starter Demi Lovato and 36-year-old Wilmer Valderrama took their six-year relationship out back and tossed it into the dumpster. It looks like they might have had second thoughts about not being together. Just like the time I realized I really really wanted to eat that Snickers bar after all and dug it out of the trash (it was still pretty much wrapped, okay?), Wilmer and Demi apparently had regrets about that whole breaking-up thing. At least according to Hollywood Life they did.
A source tells Hollywood Life, which Justin Bieber will be heartbroken to learn is still up and running, that Demi and Wilmer are giving each other a second chance. The source adds that they did actually break up last month, but they’re back together and “dating again.” The source also goes on to describe it as another “Jelena situation.” As in, like the many times Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez got back together.
Neither Demi nor Wilmer have said anything about getting back together. As of last week, Wilmer was claiming he was “very good” after splitting with Demi. Yesterday, Demi said in a radio interview that she felt “free.” So this source could be full of crap. Personally, I’m skeptical that they’re back together. Confirmation for me will be when I wake up one morning and read the news that Demi swung by her second home (Twitter) and tweeted a late-night rant about soulmates and second chances and “the haters.” Then, and only then, will I believe they’re back together.
Here’s a maybe-single/maybe not Demi leaving Z100 in New York City earlier today. If only pictures had smell-o-vision, we might be able to tell if she’s doing Wilmer again. Sadly, my nose isn’t picking up any traces of sleazeball or Old Spice.
The theme of 2016’s Celebrity Prom will continue to be “Available” until further notice. Devi Lovato and Wilmer Valderrama announced the breakup of their six-year relationship in a co-signed post on both of their Instagram accounts yesterday.
“This was an incredibly difficult decision for both of us, but we have realized more than anything that we are better as best friends. We will always be supportive of one another.”
Demi, 23, and Wilmer, 36, met when they were both shooting a Voto Latino PSA at Wilmer’s house in 2010. Demi told And Pop (via Bustle) that Wilmer won her over by complimenting her on using her Disney platform to do good things. These good things would include filming political action PSAs at his house to make it way more convenient for him to drill another barely legal House of Mouse starlet .
Celebrity feminist designator Demi is obviously continuing her subtle bedevilment of Taylor Swift with this maneuver. Just when we were drying our eyes from the tears shed over Swifty and DJ Matching Outfits reportedly breaking up, Demi tries eclipsing her ass with this! She might as well have addressed that post to “Dear Fake-Ass Taylor”!
You can check out the Instagram post below (as well as pics of Demi performing with Brad Paisley on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last month). I’m not sure why it’s under the category of “Poems.” That shit is without iambic pentameter. It doesn’t even rhyme.
Coincidentally, a whole bunch of STDs just said the same thing.
Today is the day that former mile-high cokehead Demi Lovato celebrates her third year of sobriety from the bad shit, and in honor of what is a legitimate milestone in Hollywood, she decided to make us all want to reach for the closest mind-numbing substance we can get our hands on by posting a picture of herself kissing noted man slut douchebag type Wilmer Valderrama to Instagram. According to Demi, Fez from That 70s Show is the reason she’s clean and sober and still with us:
“I wish I could put into words how grateful I am for this man right here. But my love has grown to a level that words could never possibly express how much this man completes me. He’s loved me the way I never thought I deserved to be loved and with this day marking my 3rd year sober… After sharing my ups, putting up with my downs and supporting my recovery… he still never takes credit and I want the world to know how incredible his soul is. I really wouldn’t be alive today without him. I love you Wilmer”
Mark this day in your calendar: for the first time in history, Wilmer Valderrama is actually responsible for something good. “Now if only he could pay it forward and get rid of this douchey-looking facial hair on me” thought his jawline.
I have a soft spot in my heart for Demi Lovato, because she’s kind of a NFGQiT (No Fucks Given Queen in Training), and normally I’d advise anyone with a snatch to stay as far away from Wilmer Valderrama as possible, but she’s doing really well, which means…he might not be totally the worst? I mean, he is keeping her away from booze and druggy dust. Let me tell you, this situation is a real Snatch-22.
Here’s a healthy and sober Demi Lovato at GMA last Thursday: