Category: Whoopsies

Open Post: Hosted By The Bank Robber With Terrible Penmanship

August 17, 2021 / Posted by:

Back in March, English retiree, Alan Slattery was a man with a plan: walk into an Eastbourne bank, give the teller a threatening note that demanded money, and exit a slightly richer man. Alas, Alan’s robbery attempt was foiled by his messy penmanship; employees couldn’t figure out what his note said.

“Your sereen won’t stop whet 9vo sot. Just hard over the 10s and 20s. Think olout the customer’s”? Nope, it’s supposed to read: “You screen won’t stop what I’ve got. Just hand over the 10s and 20s. Think about the customers.” And Alan is 67 years old! Meaning he would’ve been taught proper cursive in school. I weep for the Gen-Z bank robbers of tomorrow, whose notes will be illegible chicken scratches featuring crudely drawn skull emojis.

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Monica Lewinsky Made An Intern Joke About That HBO Max Email Eff Up, And Some People Didn’t Like It

June 21, 2021 / Posted by:

Last Thursday HBO Max subscribers received an empty email with the subject: “Integration Test Email”, and a single-sentence message that read, “This template is used by integration tests only.” Huh? Soon the HBO Max Help account tweeted out an apology, explaining that an intern had done a whoopsies. Obviously, Twitter had a chuckle, and soon “Dear Intern” was trending; people shared their own intern fuck ups from back in their day and gave advice to the poor HBO Max intern (and all current interns, really). It was kinda sweet.

But who’s the most famous former intern of all time? THEE Monica Lewinsky. She tweeted, “dear intern: it gets better. <3 ps. don’t wear a beret for awhile, k?” Rather than be amused by the tweet or press the ‘like’ button, or, I dunno, ignore it, a bunch of people accused Monica of dredging up the past, roping Hillary Clinton into the conversation, and making herself out to be the victim. Really, Twitter?

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Open Post: Hosted By Pat Sajak Accidentally Solving A Puzzle On “Wheel Of Fortune”

April 20, 2021 / Posted by:

Last Thursday Pat Sajak accidentally revealed the answer to the final puzzle on Wheel of Fortune. The letters on the board read: _ _ _TE   _ RAN _ L _  (my mind immediately jumped to WHITE GRANOLA, but… no). Pat commented on the difficulty of the puzzle, saying, “Yikes! Well, I’d rather be standing here than there, quite frankly.” Well? Did ya catch it? QUITE FRANKLY. That was the answer to the puzzle! But the contestant didn’t clock Pat’s faux pas. He lost the puzzle and his chance to win $38,000. To be fair, I wouldn’t have noticed it either. Too hung up on WHITE GRANOLA.

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Open Post: Hosted By This Embarrassing Pre-Pandemic Tattoo

February 25, 2021 / Posted by:

Listen, I’ve seen some dumb tattoos in my time. One of my friends has an ankle tat with the word “improv” written into an infinity sign that is also somehow an anchor. Because… improv comedy anchors him? Forever? I dunno. Back in high school I seriously considered getting a giant Buffy ‘B’ (thrilled to say I chickened out). But neither of those are as bad as what Kentucky resident Leah Holland got permanently inked on her arm. In response to a viral TikTok video asking, “What is the dumbest tattoo that you’ve ever gotten?”, Leah revealed the unfortunate tattoo she received on March 4, 2020. It reads: courageously & radically refuse to wear a mask. Oh nooo, Leeeaah!

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Rihanna Has Been Accused Of Cultural Appropriation Again

February 18, 2021 / Posted by:

A couple of days ago Rihanna posted a sexy tittay Instagram pic to show off her new Savage X Fenty satin boxers. You may be thinking, “Rihanna being sexy on the ‘gram? And this is news… why?” Well, RiRi was wearing a necklace featuring the Hindu god Ganesha. And commenters have called her out for cultural appropriation and being “mad disrespectful.” Ganesha is one of the most worshipped Hindu deities. He has the head of an elephant and traditionally represents success and wisdom. Clearly, wisdom was not the thing running through Rihanna’s head when she chose to pose topless with the pendant.

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Open Post: Hosted By The Thin, Thin Ice Of The Netherlands

February 16, 2021 / Posted by:

It’s an exciting time to be Dutch. For the first time in three years, canals in the Netherlands have frozen over, meaning the people of Amsterdam can strap on their skates, Tara Lipinski around through the city, and eventually fall through the ice like Amy in Little Women. Because ijs niet overal goed (“the ice isn’t good everywhere”). One victim of the thin ice has gone viral; a man, wearing only a bathing suit and man bun, was filmed falling through the ice, being pulled back up by a rope, bowing, and then skating away. He was, presumably, never seen again.

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