Category: Whoopsies

Lorde’s Instagram Story Featuring A Bathtub And A Whitney Houston Reference Went Over About As Well As You’d Imagine

April 6, 2018 / Posted by:

Lorde is in hot water (sorry not sorry) with Whitney Houston fans for posting an Instagram story featuring a luxurious bathtub with the caption “And iiii will always love you.” And now she should probably just go ahead and get into a witness protection program, or something, because she’ll never live it down. Brandy probably has a hit out on her.

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Mischa Barton Denies Crashing A U-Haul Despite Video Evidence To The Contrary

March 13, 2018 / Posted by:

It seems like there’s a video lurking behind every corner waiting to jump out and “gotcha!” perpetual mess Mischa Barton. TMZ reports that back in January 2017, just a month after the embarrassing video of her having a backyard BBQ with her inner demons was made public, Mischa crashed a U-Haul into a West Hollywood apartment complex. The gotcha video of that crash came out at that time. She’s being sued by the homeowners association for $27,000 worth of damage which we all know she probably ain’t got. In response to the suit, Mischa went with a timeless classic; deny, deny, deny. But I guess Mischa forgot about the video:

TMZ says that a blanket denial is a common legal move in most civil cases so it’s not surprising legally but it is laughable from a plausibility standpoint. Apparently Micsha’s ex-boyfriend Adam Spaw (that’s right, one of the sex tape fellas!) was the one who rented the van that Mischa was driving. The apartment complex initially tried to come after his insurance but the claim was denied and so they instead went after Mischa “no depth perception” Barton.

The worst thing about the video evidence is that it’s clearly one of her own friends taping. Mischa needs better friends! Hopefully she’s still dating deep pocketed hottie James Abercrombie and that he’s generous and always forgets to charge his cell phone so there will be no more “gotchas” for poor Mischa.

Pic: Wenn.com

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Lee Pace Awkwardly Came Out 

March 1, 2018 / Posted by:

That face is probably the same one Lee Pace made after realizing he just came out while trying not to come out.

Lee Pace has been a resident of the Hollywood glass closet for a while now, and a few years ago, many thirsty hos prayed to the gay gods for a sex tape of him and Richard Armitage to leak. Lee Pace has never said that he loves peen, even though Ian McKellen accidentally said it for him, but he recently shuffled out of the glass closet during an interview with W Magazine. And I don’t think he really wanted to.

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Justin Bieber Ran Over A Pap

July 27, 2017 / Posted by:

Despite his claims that religion has nothing to do with his recent decision to cancel his tour, Justin Bieber had a real “Jesus take the wheel” moment last night when leaving church and accidentally ran over a paparazzo. TMZ reports:

Justin was leaving the Saban Theater, where he’d been worshipping (sic) at a City Church event. He climbed into his monster pickup truck as photogs scrambled around the vehicle, and when he gunned it to pull away … hit the man. It’s pretty clear in the video … Justin’s front right side tire hits, or rolls over, the paparazzo.

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Thanks To That Bloody Trump Mask Pic, The Dynamic New Year’s Eve Duo Of Kathy Griffin And Anderson Cooper Is No More 

May 31, 2017 / Posted by:

It hasn’t even been 24 hours since Kathy Griffin caused everyone to lose their heads (I see you eye-rolling at my very original pun) over her holding a repurposed Michael Myers mask covered with grenadine syrup in the name of art, and she’s already on her way to joining Billy Bush in the section marked: Tricks Who Get Punished As An Untouched Trump Gleefully Coqueefs Along.

Kathy ended up apologizing for the stunt and said that she knows she fucked up. But it wasn’t enough. Kathy lost an extremely lucrative deal to continue to hawk the shit-aiding toilet ottoman known as Squatty Potty. (You know you really shit the bed when a poop tool product doesn’t even want to be associated with you.) And now CNN has dropped Kathy as co-host of their New Year’s Eve special.

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Woe Is This Useless $400 Juicer….

April 20, 2017 / Posted by:

I have a juicer and it’s currently wearing a luscious layer of dust in my kitchen cabinet. I hardly use it, because I tried to juice Runts candy with it, and that didn’t work (weird, I know), and all of the preparing and cleaning takes forever and is really, really, really hard work. After I’ve cut all the fruits and stupid vegetables, juiced them and torn my arm tendons from cleaning that machine, I don’t want to drink a thimble-sized amount of orange/ginger/carrot/spinach/whatever juice. I want to relax from doing all that hard labor by sipping some vodka and sucking on a joint. So when I heard about a space-looking juicer that doesn’t require any clean-up, I was intrigued… But while you don’t have to clean up the Juicero, the Juicero will clean up your checking account, because it costs $400! That’s a no from me. And it looks like it may be a no from the ones who can afford a $400 juicer. Because Juicero is pretty much useless.

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