Category: Whoopsies

Ariana Grande’s New Japanese Tattoo Is Wrong

January 30, 2019 / Posted by:

Ariana Grande has finally responded to all the haters who have accused her of cultural appropriation. Ari got a new tattoo on the palm of her hand which was supposed to read “7 Rings” (the title of her latest single) in Japanese kanji. But it actually reads “small charcoal grill”. Getting a mistranslated Asian character tattoo is Ariana practically shouting from the rooftops, “don’t let excessive bronzer and trap-lite videos fool you, I’m a basic ass white chick through and through!”. Gwen Stefani wishes she had the nerve!

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The Queen Was Spotted Driving Without A Seatbelt A Day After Prince Philip’s Crash

January 19, 2019 / Posted by:

The guy above is making the same grin and bear it “oh shit” face many of us were making upon hearing that Prince Philip and The Queen are both out driving around well into their 90s. And now, just one day after Philip’s Land Rover flipped in a crash, The Queen has been photographed flipping a virtual middle finger while driving without a seatbelt near the site of Philip’s accident. That Queen Elizabeth is one little sassy filly. Royals: they’re just like us (except they don’t need drivers licenses, can’t be prosecuted for breaking laws and seem to never die)!

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Melissa Joan Hart Told Her Kids That She Doesn’t Know If Non-Jesus Believers Are Good People

January 6, 2019 / Posted by:

Melissa Joan Hart has gone public with her amazing transformation from Sabrina The Teenage Witch to Ice Cold Middle-Aged Holy Judgmental Bitch. You can go ahead and add Melissa to the list of former pre-teen idols that has fallen on hard times. Melissa has gone public with her innermost beliefs, which are that if you don’t believe in Sweet Baby Jesus, you are basically a terrible person who should stay away from her kids. This has many people calling her a lo-fi anti-Semetic.

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Shakira Has Been Charged With Tax Evasion And Owes $16.3 Million

December 16, 2018 / Posted by:

Shakira has learned the hard way that Wherever, Whenever you are, the Tax Man will catch up to you, squeeze you upside-down in his death grip, and shake every last penny out of your turned out pockets if you try to fuck with them. The Spanish Tax Authority has Shakira over a barrel and says she owes them over $16.3 million in back taxes after investigating her for over a year. I’d be ecstatic to have to pay $16.3 million in taxes if it meant that I made a bazillion taxable dollars. I’m just going to sit on that for a moment and curse my life choices as I finish cutting grocery coupons and crying over my Costco brand coffee.

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Paula Abdul Fell Off The Stage Last Night

October 21, 2018 / Posted by:

Last night, Paul Abdul was performing the second date on her Straight Up 2018 tour, when she fell off the stage and into the crowd right in the middle of warbling a song. Unfortunately, there were no reports that MC Skat Cat was there to catch her fall, but even though Paula got “Knocked Out” she managed to keep her “Crazy Cool” and the show went on once she decided to continue to “Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow” because she was feeling “Alright Tonight“. Ok, Ok, I know that was painful, but TMZ already took the obvious headline that Paula went “Straight Down“.

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Lorde’s Instagram Story Featuring A Bathtub And A Whitney Houston Reference Went Over About As Well As You’d Imagine

April 6, 2018 / Posted by:

Lorde is in hot water (sorry not sorry) with Whitney Houston fans for posting an Instagram story featuring a luxurious bathtub with the caption “And iiii will always love you.” And now she should probably just go ahead and get into a witness protection program, or something, because she’ll never live it down. Brandy probably has a hit out on her.

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