The guy above is making the same grin and bear it “oh shit” face many of us were making upon hearing that Prince Philip and The Queen are both out driving around well into their 90s. And now, just one day after Philip’s Land Rover flipped in a crash, The Queen has been photographed flipping a virtual middle finger while driving without a seatbelt near the site of Philip’s accident. That Queen Elizabeth is one little sassy filly. Royals: they’re just like us (except they don’t need drivers licenses, can’t be prosecuted for breaking laws and seem to never die)!
Melissa Joan Hart has gone public with her amazing transformation from Sabrina The Teenage Witch to Ice Cold Middle-Aged Holy Judgmental Bitch. You can go ahead and add Melissa to the list of former pre-teen idols that has fallen on hard times. Melissa has gone public with her innermost beliefs, which are that if you don’t believe in Sweet Baby Jesus, you are basically a terrible person who should stay away from her kids. This has many people calling her a lo-fi anti-Semetic.
Shakira has learned the hard way that Wherever, Whenever you are, the Tax Man will catch up to you, squeeze you upside-down in his death grip, and shake every last penny out of your turned out pockets if you try to fuck with them. The Spanish Tax Authority has Shakira over a barrel and says she owes them over $16.3 million in back taxes after investigating her for over a year. I’d be ecstatic to have to pay $16.3 million in taxes if it meant that I made a bazillion taxable dollars. I’m just going to sit on that for a moment and curse my life choices as I finish cutting grocery coupons and crying over my Costco brand coffee.
Last night, Paul Abdul was performing the second date on her Straight Up 2018 tour, when she fell off the stage and into the crowd right in the middle of warbling a song. Unfortunately, there were no reports that MC Skat Cat was there to catch her fall, but even though Paula got “Knocked Out” she managed to keep her “Crazy Cool” and the show went on once she decided to continue to “Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow” because she was feeling “Alright Tonight“. Ok, Ok, I know that was painful, but TMZ already took the obvious headline that Paula went “Straight Down“.
Lorde’s Instagram Story Featuring A Bathtub And A Whitney Houston Reference Went Over About As Well As You’d Imagine
Lorde is in hot water (sorry not sorry) with Whitney Houston fans for posting an Instagram story featuring a luxurious bathtub with the caption “And iiii will always love you.” And now she should probably just go ahead and get into a witness protection program, or something, because she’ll never live it down. Brandy probably has a hit out on her.
It seems like there’s a video lurking behind every corner waiting to jump out and “gotcha!” perpetual mess Mischa Barton. TMZ reports that back in January 2017, just a month after the embarrassing video of her having a backyard BBQ with her inner demons was made public, Mischa crashed a U-Haul into a West Hollywood apartment complex. The gotcha video of that crash came out at that time. She’s being sued by the homeowners association for $27,000 worth of damage which we all know she probably ain’t got. In response to the suit, Mischa went with a timeless classic; deny, deny, deny. But I guess Mischa forgot about the video:
TMZ says that a blanket denial is a common legal move in most civil cases so it’s not surprising legally but it is laughable from a plausibility standpoint. Apparently Micsha’s ex-boyfriend Adam Spaw (that’s right, one of the sex tape fellas!) was the one who rented the van that Mischa was driving. The apartment complex initially tried to come after his insurance but the claim was denied and so they instead went after Mischa “no depth perception” Barton.
The worst thing about the video evidence is that it’s clearly one of her own friends taping. Mischa needs better friends! Hopefully she’s still dating deep pocketed hottie James Abercrombie and that he’s generous and always forgets to charge his cell phone so there will be no more “gotchas” for poor Mischa.