Category: Who?

Rita Ora And Andrew Garfield Made It Official By Walking Hand-In-Hand

December 26, 2018 / Posted by:

America’s third favorite Spider-Man, Andrew Garfield, was spotted strolling in London with the same mystery woman he reportedly started dating back in November. It’s a big change for Andrew to go from dating a white-hot A-lister like Emma Stone, to a plain, nondescript gal like Rita Ora (that’s her name, according to Daily Mail). The pair were photographed walking together in the Primrose Hill neighborhood, and “Rita hid her peroxide blonde locks under her trendy baker boy hat” as if she thought she might be recognized. Which might actually be true. The Mail calls her “The Hot Right Now hitmaker, 28”, so I guess if I cared to Google “Hot Right Now”, I might be able to figure out who she is. She’s alternately described as a “blond bombshell”, a “singer” and “Your Song hitmaker”. This is my “Mr. Police, I gave you all the clues” moment, and I am failing miserably!

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Kanye West Helped Design “Blexit” T-Shirts For Candace Owens

October 29, 2018 / Posted by:

Kanye West did his pal and confidant, Candace Owens, a solid by helping her design T-shirts for her new political “movement” called Blexit. What’s, Blexit you ask? Well, it’s a campaign Candace is ramrodding which is supposed to encourage black people to “exit” the democratic party. Per Blexit’s newly launched website: “BLEXIT is a renaissance. It is our formal declaration of independence”. And everybody knows that the one thing every renaissance needs is beautiful art, and thanks to Kanye, this is now “art”.

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Neil Patrick Harris Pulled An “I Don’t Know Her” On Rachel Bloom During Last Night’s Tonys

June 11, 2018 / Posted by:

Doogie Howser M.D. sure has come up in the world. Neil Patrick Harris has hosted the Tony Awards a few times, but sadly he’s forgotten all the little people upon whose heads he tap danced on his way to the top. One such head is Crazy-Ex Girlfriend Rachel Bloom’s. Last night, for the second year in a row, Rachel was the backstage host at the Tonys and Neil was watching from home with his spawn and live tweeting.  Neil was either suffering from soap opera amnesia or was super salty to be left out because he went in hard on Rachel with a Mariah worthy “I don’t know her”.

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Lindsay Shookus Speaks! Ben Affleck’s Girlfriend Gave A Boring Interview

May 15, 2018 / Posted by:

Think you know who Lindsay Shookus is? Well think again! Lindsay gave an explosive interview to Elle magazine (titled Who Is Lindsay Shookus) and revealed that she was raised by circus clowns and that she once ate an entire Piper Cub airplane on a dare! Oh, and she’s the one who did Ben Affleck’s tattoo (she has a matching one on her sternum). These are facts I wish I’d learned reading her interview. Sadly, they are not. They are facts I made up because the truth is; Lindsay’s kind of a snooze. If that’s what you thought you knew about Lindsay Shookus, then, my bad, you were right.

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Rita Ora Is Exhausted

July 1, 2016 / Posted by:

It’s hard out there in the entertainment industry. There’s a lot of stuff going around, and if you’re not careful, you’ll catch something or fall prey to disease. Mostly, from what I’ve heard, it’s stuff like the clap and crabs. But, the number one deadly predator for celeb types is the dreaded exhaustion. Exhaustion claims days out of the lives of the people you see on screen and hear on the radio. On the upside, it also gives them a jolt of attention when they’re feeling like people aren’t paying attention to them. Today’s victim is someone that many people probably haven’t heard of, and those who have might still ask, “What? Who?Rita Ora was in the hospital for exhaustion. What? Who?

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Two People You Probably Haven’t Heard Of Were Fired From The X-Factor For Being Shitty Assholes

March 16, 2015 / Posted by:

British pop thing Natalia Kills and her New Zealand-born musician husband Willy Moon (or as you know them as, “?????“) were both fired from the X-Factor New Zealand after they accused a contestant of stealing Willy’s look and slammed the dude with a strange, crazy, nonsensical, delusional rant. Meanwhile, an oozing asshole has just publicly accused Natalia and Willy of swagger jacking it.

After a contestant performed in a black suit and with side parted hair, Natalia flipped on the crazy switch and called him a “doppelganger” and said that as an “artist who respects creative integrity and intellectual property” she is “disgusted” at how much he copied her husband. Even the master defender of artistic integrity, Kanye West, went “huh?” Natalia called his look “cheesy” and said that she was “embarrassed to be sitting here in your presence having to even dignify you with an answer of my opinion.” Willy Moon, who is obviously the inventor of the black suit and side parted hair, also got into the asshole fuckery and told the poor contestant that “it’s like Norman Bates dressing up in his mother’s clothing. It’s just a little bit creepy and I feel like you’re going to stitch someone’s skin to your face and then kill everybody in the audience.”

All of that cuntery over a plain suit and normal ass hair:

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