Think you know who Lindsay Shookus is? Well think again! Lindsay gave an explosive interview to Elle magazine (titled Who Is Lindsay Shookus) and revealed that she was raised by circus clowns and that she once ate an entire Piper Cub airplane on a dare! Oh, and she’s the one who did Ben Affleck’s tattoo (she has a matching one on her sternum). These are facts I wish I’d learned reading her interview. Sadly, they are not. They are facts I made up because the truth is; Lindsay’s kind of a snooze. If that’s what you thought you knew about Lindsay Shookus, then, my bad, you were right.
It’s hard out there in the entertainment industry. There’s a lot of stuff going around, and if you’re not careful, you’ll catch something or fall prey to disease. Mostly, from what I’ve heard, it’s stuff like the clap and crabs. But, the number one deadly predator for celeb types is the dreaded exhaustion. Exhaustion claims days out of the lives of the people you see on screen and hear on the radio. On the upside, it also gives them a jolt of attention when they’re feeling like people aren’t paying attention to them. Today’s victim is someone that many people probably haven’t heard of, and those who have might still ask, “What? Who?” Rita Ora was in the hospital for exhaustion. What? Who?
British pop thing Natalia Kills and her New Zealand-born musician husband Willy Moon (or as you know them as, “?????“) were both fired from the X-Factor New Zealand after they accused a contestant of stealing Willy’s look and slammed the dude with a strange, crazy, nonsensical, delusional rant. Meanwhile, an oozing asshole has just publicly accused Natalia and Willy of swagger jacking it.
After a contestant performed in a black suit and with side parted hair, Natalia flipped on the crazy switch and called him a “doppelganger” and said that as an “artist who respects creative integrity and intellectual property” she is “disgusted” at how much he copied her husband. Even the master defender of artistic integrity, Kanye West, went “huh?” Natalia called his look “cheesy” and said that she was “embarrassed to be sitting here in your presence having to even dignify you with an answer of my opinion.” Willy Moon, who is obviously the inventor of the black suit and side parted hair, also got into the asshole fuckery and told the poor contestant that “it’s like Norman Bates dressing up in his mother’s clothing. It’s just a little bit creepy and I feel like you’re going to stitch someone’s skin to your face and then kill everybody in the audience.”
All of that cuntery over a plain suit and normal ass hair: