If this isn’t a post fit for the “Well Well Well” tag, then I don’t know what is. Remember way back to yesterday, when we were reporting the scandalous news that Katy Perry was spotted sitting next to Robert Pattinson at dinner? Sorry – canoodling over noodles (get it right, Allison). And it was fine and not suspicious at all because Katy and Robert are just friends, and also he’s “kind of” engaged to FKA Twigs? Here’s the part where we all start thinking: “Shoot, maybe that seating choice was more scandalous than we thought.”
After the shocking revelations last week that convicted felon cum model Jeremy Meeks was allegedly cheating on his wife with billionaire TopShop heiress Chloe Green, his wife has pulled a “Central Valley Lemonade” (as we call it in the biz) by giving an exclusive interview to The Daily Mail to air her grievances.
Melissa Meeks says she found out about the affair the same way the rest of us did; when ‘Some random person I don’t know sent a direct message with the photograph of my husband kissing that woman”. Now that the (blood) money is in the water, Melissa Meeks is seeking a divorce and a whole lot of sympathy.
In a little over a year, Jeremy Meeks (aka Prison Bae aka Hot Mug Shot Guy aka the felon guilty of grand theft, gun possession, gang shit and murdering thirsty pussies and bussies everywhere with his dreamy eyes) has gone from eating radiator grilled cheese in prison to smearing caviar all over the billionaire ass cheeks of a TopShop heiress on a yacht off the coast of Turkey.
Mika Brzezinski And Joe Scarborough Said That Trump Used The National Enquirer As A Weapon Against Them
Morning Joe co-hosts, Mika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough, were supposed to have today off for the long Fourth of July weekend, but they put their vacation off after the Overlord of the United States did what many respectable presidents have done before him: he dragged the looks of a news anchor on Twitter. I mean, we all learned in U.S. history class about the moment when George Washington took to the town square (the Twitter of its time) to talk about how the town crier got a shit face-lift. In an op-ed piece for the Washington Post and on Morning Joe, Mika and Joe responded to Trump saying that they’re both crazy and that he saw her at his New Year’s party and “she was she was bleeding badly from a face-lift.”
Somewhere, a wall got covered in poutine tears and Drake’s body when he did the slow wall slide of crying sadness after seeing pictures of RiRi getting on a hot new piece in the pool. RiRi was (or is still on) vacation in Spain, and a paparazzo disguised themselves like a bush to get pictures of her sucking the face of a dude in a pool. The detectives on Twitter believed the dude was pocket-sized Spanish footballer Isco Alarcon. But The Sun says that RiRi’s pool-time fuck partner isn’t a footballer. His family owns a damn football team, but he isn’t a footballer. They say that RiRi was putting her tongue on Saudi businessman Hassan Jameel. Hassan’s family is the largest Toyota distributor in Saudi Arabia and they run other businesses as well. They are reportedly worth $1.5 billion at least. And here I was last night thinking that I was living the life while eating Sno-Balls ice cream as I watched old GLOW matches on YouTube. But it’s RiRi who was truly living the life in Spain while sipping champagne and boning on a hot Toyota distributor heir.
A couple of months ago, Page Six said that 53-year-old Brad Pitt and 35-year-old Sienna Miller were flirting with each other at a dinner after the premiere for The Lost City of Z. That made sense since it seems like Brad’s tip gets moist for famous boho hos and Sienna loves high drama. Sienna farted on that rumor by saying it was “predictable and silly.” But The Sun says that at Glastonbury over the weekend, Brad and Sienna had their hands all over each other backstage and couldn’t stop “stroking” one another. We all know what they mean by “stroking,” (or do we?) but let me just have the image of Brad Pitt and Sienna Miller stroking each other’s fuck parts in front of a crowd who wondered if they were on a serious kind of molly and hallucinating or if PiSi was on a serious kind of molly.