Category: Well Well Well

Spelman College No Longer Wants To Be Associated With Bill Cosby

July 26, 2015 / Posted by:

Time to add another name to the already long list of people who are slowly backing away from Bill Cosby. CNN says that Spelman College in Atlanta, GA has decided to pull the William and Camille Olivia Hanks Cosby Endowed Professorship. Spelman College released a statement on Saturday announcing that the WCOHCEP, which has been suspended since December, has been “discontinued“, and that related funds have been returned to the Clara Elizabeth Jackson Carter Foundation. Sidenote: when you read WCOHCEP out loud, it totally sounds like one of Bill Cosby’s made-up gibberish words.

Bill and Spelman go back a long way. Two of Bill and Camille’s daughters, Erika and Evin, went to Spelman, and their son Ennis went to Morehouse, a college connected to Spelman. Spelman is also one of the inspirations for Hillman College, the fake college Cliff and Clair Huxtable went to on The Cosby Show and Denise Huxtable went to on A Different World.

Spelman College doesn’t say why they got rid of the William and Camille Olivia Hanks Cosby Endowed Professorship. I don’t think we’d be going out on too far of a limb to assume it has something to do with The New York Times releasing more nuggets of not-right from Bill Cosby’s 2005 deposition last week. They also haven’t said anything about the Camille Olivia Hanks Cosby, Ed.D. Academic Center, but since Camille Cosby’s name doesn’t make people grimace like Bill’s does, it’s probably sticking around for a while.

Pic: Splash

Hulk Hogan Got Dropped By The WWE Over A Transcript Of Him Saying Racist Shit

July 24, 2015 / Posted by:

Hulk: So whatcha gonna do when the Hulkster runs racist on you?

WWE: Um, fire you.

WWE announced this morning that they are done with barbecued piece of gristle Hulk Hogan because of a leaked transcript where he uses his deep fried mouth slit to shit out the n-word a bunch of times. The WWE’s website is now 40% less orange, because they have already erased every sign of Hulk Hogan from it. They released this statement:

“WWE terminated its contract with Terry Bollea (aka Hulk Hogan). WWE is committed to embracing and celebrating individuals from all backgrounds as demonstrated by the diversity of our employees, performers and fans worldwide.”

Enter: Katy Perry

July 22, 2015 / Posted by:

What is everyone looking at? Why isn’t everyone paying attention to me?” – Taylor Swift, as always

In case you haven’t been following the most important news of the year, if not century, Nicki Minaj tweeted out a bunch of words on Twitter last night about “Anaconda” getting snubbed (reminder: all of this drama over the fucking VMAs), body image and racism in the music industry. At one point, the human Nermal, Taylor Swift, thought Nicki was talking about her and injected herself into it. Taylor thought it was very unlike Nicki to pit women against women. A field of side-eyes hit Taylor over that tweet since “Bad Blood” is obviously about how she hates Katy Perry, because Katy Perry stole one of her dancers or something dumb like that. Well, Katy Perry decided to jump on in and give us the sequel to her “Regina George in sheep’s clothing tweet” by squirting out this tweet that nearly melted my brain:

I know this is rich coming from me, but WUT? Katy was also in a feud with punctuation and sense when she wrote that shit. What Katy Perry is trying to say is that Taylor is accusing someone of “pitting women against women” while she counts all the cash she made from a song that takes down another woman. I’m sure Tay Tay will subtweet a response as soon as she comes up with something other than, “Ewww, shut up, you have cankles.”

But really, the only two things missing from this “feud” are Courtney Love and a flying compact. She’ll shut this shit down. Or make it worse. Either or.

Pic: Getty

Wandering Dicks Are Shaking In Their Chonies Today: Ashley Madison Got Hacked

July 20, 2015 / Posted by:

AshleyMadison.com should probably change their logo lady to show her mouthing the words “OH FUCK,” because all 37 million of the site’s members could find themselves having to recite Tiger Woods’ apology speech to their spouse after the ways of their shifty, roaming genitals gets exposed by hackers.

Ashley Madison is a Canadian-owned website (FYI: Ashley Madison is Canadian for Sienna Miller) where married tramps can “discreetly” find side piece poon or peen to fuck around with. Avid Life Media, the company that owns Ashley Madison also owns the sites Cougar Life and prostitution whore-ah and sugar baby paradise Established Men. The blog KlebsOnSecurity reports that a hacker group who calls themselves The Impact Team (that sounds like the name of a group of constipated superheroes aka Goopy Paltrow’s nightmare) has hacked into Avid Life’s systems and are threatening to leak all sorts of private shit from Ashley Madison’s 37 million members. They will release real names, naked pictures, addresses and customers’ secret fantasies and kinks unless their demands are met.

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Amber Heard, Not Johnny Depp, Got Charged With Smuggling Yorkies Into Australia

July 16, 2015 / Posted by:

Smuggling Yorkies into Australia” sounds like the code name for a sex act nobody wants to be a part of.

It was reported back in May that Johnny Depp faced 10 years of making scarves out of prison sheets and necklaces out of uncooked macaroni because Australian authorities were getting ready to charge him with bringing his Yorkies, Boo and Pistol, into the country without following their quarantine laws. But today, the international saga titled Scarf Pirates of America: The Curse of the Tainted Yorkies got a PLOT TWIST. Johnny Depp’s wife of 5 months Amber Heard is the one going down in the land Down Under. People reports that Amber was charged with two counts of of illegally importing her Yorkies and one count of producing a false document.

Satan Just Put On A Parka, Because Whoopi Goldberg Changed Her Tune On The Bill Cosby

July 14, 2015 / Posted by:

Ever since Hannibal Buress opened up Bill Cosby’s closet and pulled out and dusted off those drugging and rape allegations, Whoopi Goldberg has defended Cosby like crazy. Whoopi defended him the same way I defended Chicken Cutlets when a former friend said, “I don’t know what you see in Phoebe Price.” Whoopi practically kicked off her clogs and issued a “You in danger, girl” on anybody who dared say that Bill Cosby is most likely guilty. Whoopi continued to throw fists for Cosby even after we all found out that he admitted in a deposition to buying ludes to give to women. But today, the defender of anything and everything joined Jill Scott by swan diving off of Cosby’s sinking ship. That leaves a confused Bill Cosby standing on a slanted deck holding a silver tray full of drinks as one of his lone supporters Phylicia Rashad throws him a look that says, “Yeah, I’m not that thirsty.

As Expected, Caitlyn Jenner Will Not Face Any Felon Charges For Fatal Malibu Car Crash

July 13, 2015 / Posted by:

Devious blond-headed goblin Ryan Seacrest can go ahead and cancel his meeting with E! where he planned to pitch them a new reality shit show called Orange is the New Kartrashian starring Caitlyn Jenner, because she will definitely not be charged with a felony for causing the deadly car crash on PCH and she may not even be charged with a misdemeanor. That’s what TMZ says anyway.

Last month, it was reported that the Los Angeles District Attorney’s office planned to pass the case to the Major Crimes Unit even though there was no chance in hell, purgatory and beyond that Caitlyn would be charged with a felony. Well, TMZ is now saying that Caitlyn won’t have to pick out a glamorous court room wardrobe, because no felony charges will be filed. TMZ’s source doesn’t think she’ll have to face misdemeanor charges either, because typically when cops get a case like this, they dismiss it altogether.

Apparently, investigators decided not to throw a felony charge at Caitlyn after seeing footage from an MTA bus camera of the accident. Click here if you haven’t seen that footage and want to. The footage shows Caitlyn’s SUV smash into a Lexus, sending it into oncoming traffic, before hitting a Prius. Kim Howe, who was driving the Lexus, died. Investigators don’t believe there’s any felonies to charge Caitlyn with and the only thing she’s guilty of is not paying attention and doing something cops call DWHUA (Driving With Head Up Ass). If only DWHUA was a real thing. Caitlyn could be charged with it and I’d get a siren for my car, because I come across morons driving with a culo full of head all the time and I’d love nothing more than to bust a CITIZEN’S ARREST on them.

Caitlyn may be off the hook with the police, but she still has to deal with two civil lawsuits: One from the stepchildren of  Kim Howe and another one from the driver of the Prius.

So, Caitlyn probably won’t be charged with anything for that car crash, because being rich and famous in L.A. always pays off, but when is she finally going to be charged for her involvement in the longtime, ongoing wreck that is the Kardashian family’s existence. That’s what I want to know.

Here’s Caitlyn leaving a sushi lunch in L.A. with that model daughter and a Baldwin spawn on Saturday.

Pics: Splash

Tom Selleck Accused Of Stealing Water From A California Fire Hydrant

July 8, 2015 / Posted by:

The Calleguas Municipal Water District in Southern California has tossed a lawsuit into the lap of Tom Selleck for allegedly committing several acts of water thievery since 2013. Tom and his wife Jillie Mack are accused of stealing thousands of gallons of water from a fire hydrant near a construction site in Thousands Oaks, CA and transporting that stolen agua to his 60-acre ranch and avocado farm in the Hidden Valley area. This case is way too low-on-the-ladder for Detective La Toya, so this is a case for Magnum P.I.! Oh wait, Tom is Magnum P.I. This is a case for Jessica Fletcher! Water, he stole.

Courthouse News Service (via THR) says that in the court documents, the water district claims that a commercial truck sucked water out of that fire hydrant and drove it back to Chateau de Stache a total of 12 times in the span of 18 months. The water district says that the truck stole water 7 times from September 2013 to October 2013. In November 2013, they wanted Tom to stop stealing water, so they sent cease-and-desist letters to both of his homes in Southern California. Those letters did nothing to stop Tom’s alleged water snatching ways. They claim the truck went back to drink free water from the hydrant 5 more times: 1 time in December 2013 and 4 times in March 2015.

I know you’re wondering what the fire hydrant that Tom stuck his hose in looks like, so thankfully, The Daily Mail got a picture of it from Google.

tomselleckstealing

The water district paid a private investigator $21,685.55 to track and document Tom’s water-looting truck. They want Tom to pay them back and they’re also demanding that he pay court fees, attorney costs and other damages to be determined.

Tom Selleck hasn’t said anything about this yet, but I’m sure he has a really good explanation for stealing water IN THIS DROUGHT (which is the new “IN THIS ECONOMY.”) It must take a whole lot of water to keep the majestic grand lawn above his mouth thick and luxurious. If all of us in California turn to dust due to this drought, it’s okay as long as Tom Selleck’s national treasure stache and brows stay lush and gorgeous.

Pics: Google, Wenn.com

Bill Cosby Admitted In A 2005 Deposition To Buying Quaaludes To “Use” On Young Women

July 6, 2015 / Posted by:

In 2005, Bill Cosby had to testify under oath after Andrea Constand, a former Temple University employee, sued him and accused him of doing what more than half of the planet has accused him of. Andrea accused the mound of bloated smugness and melted Pudding Pops of drugging and assaulting her in 2004 at his mansion in Philadelphia. During his testimony, Cosby admitted to buying Quaaludes with the intent to give them to women he wanted to have “sex” with. Cosby also admitted to giving Andrea three and a half Benadryl pills because she told him she was stressed out. Andrea’s lawyer at the time, Dolores M. Troiani, threw a side-eye and four squints at that. Dolores said that she believes Cosby gave Andrea something much stronger than Benadryl.

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People Magazine Got The First Pictures Of Bennifer 2.0 In the Bahamas

July 6, 2015 / Posted by:

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner took their estranged asses to the Bahamas right before announcing their marriage was officially roadkill, because they didn’t want the paparazzi getting all up in their lives. Well, I don’t know how the paparazzi did it, but they somehow managed to find Ben and Jennifer having a ~serious~ moment on the beach in the Bahamas. (Today, the meaning of “somehow managed” is: The paparazzi just drove their rented boat to the place Bennnifer 2.0’s publicists told them to go at a specific time.)

People posted EXCLUSIVO pictures of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner sitting next to each other on some beach steps during their post-divorce announcement vacation in the Bahamas. An “onlooker” (aka either a nosy seagull or the pap) says that Ben and Jen’s “serious and somber” conversation on the beach steps lasted only a few minutes. They were cordial, but they never touched and when they weren’t talking, they stared into space at nothing. Um, isn’t that how most conversations with Ben Affleck go?

People tweeted this picture which gives me “Heidi Montag crying on a beat-up chair for the paps” vibes but without the organic raw emotions:

The “onlooker” didn’t say what Ben and Jennifer specifically talked about, but I’m guessing during their conversation he asked, “Ugh, we’ve been sitting here for like 5 minutes. Haven’t they taken enough pics?” To which Jennifer said, “Just pretend you’ve got something in your eye so they can see that you’re still wearing your wedding ring. Then you can go back to the stupid fucking casino, okay?!”

And this completely natural and not-at-all-staged somber photo shoot was brought to you by Coke. Share a Coke® with your emotionally unavailable, good-for-nothing almost ex-husband during a natural photo shoot for People.

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