It took long enough, but someone finally matched up the former Homewrecker Queen of Hollywood Sienna Miller and noted cheating tramp slut Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt is an executive producer on The Lost City of Z and Sienna Miller’s in that shit. The movie had its Hollywood premiere last week, and Page Six says that at a dinner afterward, Sienna and Brad were “seriously flirting.” If Sienna was “seriously flirting” with Brad while he was dressed like this, she was either drunker than me after doing my taxes or she really gets the down-low tingles for pepaw clothes.
Like Tom Cruise spitting out a reasonable and sane thought, a FoxHol sighting is a rare one that doesn’t happen very often. The rumors about Jamie Foxx wet humping the thetans off of Katie Holmes started in 2013 and a new “sighting” or story about them pops up every now and again. Jamie Foxx has denied the rumors before, but it looks like FoxHol is a thing and they’re just keeping it on the down low. “Jamie’s ass would know a thing or two about the down low,” said every blind item believer.
Joss Whedon declared over a year ago that he broke up with Marvel because making the second Avengers movie nearly put him in a grave. It looks like he’s finally found a rebound piece in DC. Joss will be the mastermind behind a standalone Batgirl movie.
In “Riveting News From 2001” News, The Hollywood Reporter posted excerpts from a biography about Sherry Lansing where she talks about how much the saint formerly known as just Angelina Jolie wanted to star in the movie version of Tomb Raider. Sherry was CEO of Paramount Pictures at the time that Tomb Raider was being made and says that the producers and other executives were worried that Angie would fuck the movie up. Angie wanted it so badly that she offered to be drug tested every single day. “Oh so THAT’S where her ass got the idea from,” said Brad Pitt as he softly stroked his trusty former friend, his bong, while remembering the good times they had together.
Ever since the rumors about Diane Kruger and Norman Reedus started, denial after denial has been spit up. When there was a rumor that Diane dry humped on Norman at a bar while she was still with Joshua Jackson, it was shot down. When Diane and Pacey broke up and it was rumored that her cooze moved on to Norman’s greasy parts, some source said that they were just friends. But now E! News has pictures of Diane and Norman holding hands and putting their faces so close together it looks like they’re kissing. Tricks got caught (by the pap they probably called).
Too many handjob jokes, too little time.
Star of gay rumors Jeremy Renner has done two Mission: Impossible movies with Tom Cruise, and now it’s fellow star of gay rumors Henry Canvill’s turn to hear Tommy snap at him, “Bitch, you better slouch and bend those knees, because these heels can’t grow on their own.” Production on Mission: Impossible 6 was reportedly on hold, because Tommy wanted more points in his back-end (don’t we all, Tommy?) or something. Well, it looks like Tommy’s back-end is going to get those points he wanted, because production is back on and director Christopher McQuarrie is adding to the cast.