Ever since the rumors about Diane Kruger and Norman Reedus started, denial after denial has been spit up. When there was a rumor that Diane dry humped on Norman at a bar while she was still with Joshua Jackson, it was shot down. When Diane and Pacey broke up and it was rumored that her cooze moved on to Norman’s greasy parts, some source said that they were just friends. But now E! News has pictures of Diane and Norman holding hands and putting their faces so close together it looks like they’re kissing. Tricks got caught (by the pap they probably called).
Too many handjob jokes, too little time.
Star of gay rumors Jeremy Renner has done two Mission: Impossible movies with Tom Cruise, and now it’s fellow star of gay rumors Henry Canvill’s turn to hear Tommy snap at him, “Bitch, you better slouch and bend those knees, because these heels can’t grow on their own.” Production on Mission: Impossible 6 was reportedly on hold, because Tommy wanted more points in his back-end (don’t we all, Tommy?) or something. Well, it looks like Tommy’s back-end is going to get those points he wanted, because production is back on and director Christopher McQuarrie is adding to the cast.
E! has been showing a zillion previews and milking every last drop from future episodes of Keeping Up the Kartrashians where Kim Kartrashian tells the tale of getting robbed at gunpoint in Paris as The Slow One sits there blank-faced dreaming about salad and Khlozilla also sits there blank-faced dreaming about the wild boar she’s going to catch in the woods later that night. Well, it’s Kendall Jenner’s turn to sit in front of the cameras and tell the tale of getting robbed, because someone reportedly snatched $200,000 in jewels from her house last night. Only this is probably not a Bling Ring 2.0 type of thing and it doesn’t look like thieves broke into her house like they did to Alanis Morrissette. It looks like someone who was partying at Kendall’s house last night did it. DUN DUN DUN (not really).
That hoodie/sunglasses combo is saying one of two things. Either Diane Kruger’s stylist had a poor-taste moment and put together a look inspired by Jeanne Boylan’s sketch of The Unabomber, or she really doesn’t want people to know she’s currently in Spain at the same time as Norman Reedus. Based on how hush-hush they’ve tried to keep whatever it is that’s going on between them, my money is on option #2.
Back in December, Diane posed for pictures with Norman Reedus at his photo exhibition in Paris. Norman is currently in Barcelona to promote The Walking Dead. He also has a photo show opening at a gallery in Barcelona. And Diane was spotted wandering around semi-incognito in Barcelona yesterday. That’s not weird at all. People who are “just friends” follow each other halfway across the world all the time. Diane and Norman have denied they’re doing it.
Diane is really doing a terrible job of trying to go unnoticed and convince people she’s not doing Norman Reedus. An oversized black hoodie hiding possibly-dirty hair? Sunglasses that look like they were stolen from a gas station? Expensive dirtbag leather motorcycle booties? Leopard-print purse only big enough to hold a pack of smokes and some Visine? All that practically screams “I’m doing Norman Reedus.”
Here’s more of an in-disguise Diane Kruger walking around Barcelona yesterday, as well as Norman Reedus out promoting The Walking Dead and later at his photo exhibition. Unlike his last exhibition, there are no photos of Diane and Norman together. Or maybe she was there, but he didn’t recognize her because her disguise was just too good?
And yes, this is the official “Brace Yourselves For Another Possibly Messy Custody Battle” face:
In January, we learned that Scarlett Johansson and her French journalist husband of about 2 years, Romain Dauriac, broke up over the summer after deciding that they didn’t want to wake up to each other’s faces every day anymore. It seemed like ScarJo and RoDa’s split wasn’t going to go the way of other celebrity splits (read: into a diarrhea puddle). While separated, ScarJo and Romain opened up their fancy popcorn shop in Paris together, and even after the news of their break-up came out, they posed for a picture together at some event. But since a Hollywood divorce just can’t go smoothly anymore, Romain’s lawyer tells Page Six that shit may get bumpy.
On Howard Stern’s SiriusXM show last week, John Mellencamp said that on the list of Things That Meg Ryan Hates, his name is right up there with “face wrinkles.” John said that Meg Ryan hates him and wants nothing to do with him because he was a fit-throwing moody child during their relationship. But on the same day that John told Howard that Meg is done with him, someone took a picture of them hanging out together in NYC. Go ahead and insert your very own SoWhatIsTheTruth.GIF here.
Stephanie Forman, who took the picture, said that John and Meg didn’t seem coupley. Okay, but it doesn’t seem like Meg Ryan hates him either, unless she’s smiling while telling him to please eat shit and get the fuck out of her face.
A source close to John tells Page Six that he doesn’t even know he got caught! The source said, “I don’t even think he knows the photo exists. He hasn’t said one word about it.”
So either John was joking with Howard. Or John is so not over Meg Ryan and he makes his current girlfriend wear a fluffy blond wig and a rubber Meg Ryan mask whenever they go out in public. Or John blatantly spit out a river of lies, because he and Meg are back together and he wants to throw the paparazzi off. John knows that he and Meg are the IT couple of our time and he doesn’t want the paps around while he and his lady are suckin’ on chili dogs outside Tastee Freeeeeze. Yeah, it’s definitely the third one.
Here’s John taking a quick stroll in NYC with his true love, a cigarette, on the same day he hung out with Meg.