Hallelujah! The clouds have parted and a single ray of sunlight is shining brightly over Justin Bieber, because divine Hillsong intervention has worked for the first time in history and blessed him with a sprinkling of common sense. Despite Justin Bieber looking like a homeless tweaker in that picture above (“Only ‘looking’?” thought anyone who has seen THAT video), he’s worth millions. TMZ reports that The Biebs and Hailey Baldwin did not get secret married last week after being spotted obtaining their marriage license, because they are busy working out a prenup before they hit the gallows- I mean aisle. It’s a Hollywood miracle! A completely rational decision being made by two horny celebrity 20 somethings in a rush to get married. This brings a tear to my eye.
Denise Richards married Aaron Phypers yesterday as planned in an intimate Malibu wedding ceremony that included only their closest family and friends. But don’t worry, “intimate Malibu wedding ceremony” translates to fully filmed and currently being edited for the upcoming ninth season of The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. That’s right, if you didn’t make the invite list, don’t worry! Just like Charlie Sheen, who may or may not have been in attendance yesterday, you can relive all the wedding magic as soon as the next season of RHOBH kicks off! Continue reading
Denise Richards is getting married today in Malibu and it’s been reported by Us Weekly that Charlie Sheen is invited. There are no promises, I’m just saying that there could be reports of tiger blood shed or a menagerie of “goddesses” creating a champagne and canapé shortage at the reception before jumping into the pool. There may or may not be a drug dealer arrested lurking around the valet booth, and we might be able to see video footage of Charlie grabbing the mic off of a bridesmaid for an impromptu wedding speech. In other words, Denise Richards is getting married to Aaron Phypers today, and it could be the greatest wedding of this century.
It’s been almost four long years since we first heard that Daryl Hannah and Neil Young replaced Meg Ryan and John “I Refuse To Drop The Cougar From His Name” Mellencamp as the IT couple of the blonde actress from the 80s (or 90s) and pepaw rocker set. Between then and now, my brain must’ve corroded even more, because I forgot these two were together. But not only are they still together, all signs point to them getting married over the weekend. I really need to get a subscription to Closer Weekly so I can stay up to date on the oldies.
According to People magazine, 52-year-old Vincent Cassel has officially made the transition many actors hope to one day make: from being a guy who was dating a woman half his age, to being a guy that is now married to a woman half his age. “Congratulations!” cheered Richard Gere.
It’s true that we’ve talked about it. Even speculated about it before then. Oh and then we saw a fucking picture evidence of the damn thing. But I guess, as they say: “It ain’t over til the fat lady sings.” In this case that lady is Nick Jonas and he’s singing on Instagram.