Kaley Cuoco? Tapping her watch impatiently and making “Hurry the HELL up” eyes at her wedding planner? Never, I refuse to believe it! But this is straight from Kaley’s mouth, so I guess I have to. Kaley got engaged in December to her boyfriend of two years Karl Cook. Three months later, Kaley tells People she’s ready to speed race down the aisle.
Four days ago, Amy Schumer went Instagram official with her boyfriend of three months, chef Chris Fischer, by posting a picture of them kissing at Ellen DeGeneres’ 60th birthday party in Los Angeles. It seems like every famous person was at Ellen’s party. Amy and Chris are from the east coast, and they must have decided to take advantage of the nice weather and all their friends being in one place. Because UsWeekly says that Amy and Chris rented a fancy house in Malibu on Tuesday, and texted 80 of their friends to come over for a wedding. According to sources, that last-minute guest list included Jennifer Lawrence, Jennifer Aniston, Larry David, David Spade, Jerry Seinfeld, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Judd Apatow. And it does sound like it was all done at the last minute.
On Saturday, 54-year-old John Stamos to his pregnant 31-year-old model/actress girlfriend Caitlin McHugh. People says the wedding took place at the Little Brown Church in Studio City, CA, while the reception was held back at John’s house in Beverly Hills. It sounds like it was all very nice, except for the fact Caitlin’s hotel room was robbed the night before and the thieves made off with all her wedding day jewels.
If you didn’t spend your New Year’s Eve watching Botoxed Elf on a Shelf Ryan Seacrest and the return of Mariah Carey on ABC or the shit show on CNN, then you might have tuned into Fox. And in very old school Fox fashion, their show featured the stunt of all TV stunts: a live wedding!
According to Page Six, Katharine McPhee and her gal pal, producer Hilary Shor, tried to crash a wedding in Cabo San Lucas but got ejected by the bride. That allegedly did not sit well with Kat and Hil so they retaliated by getting snarky with some catty Instagram stories and dissed the bride for not wanting two basic ass randos eating her shrimp and bogarting the karaoke mic.
As Expected, The Royals Are Milking Every Last Drop Out Of Prince Hot Ginge And Meghan Markel’s Wedding
Believe it or not, I didn’t create that opulent commemorative mug (for your tears) so that I could shadily spell Meghan’s name wrong. But kudos to the bitter shady bitch who did (it was Pippa).
Usually, writing the words, “milking every last drop out of Prince Hot Ginge,” would make me tingle out of my sweatpants, but not this time. Back in the olden days, when those lesser royals (Prince TheBalderOne and Duchess WhoCaresSheAintMeghanMarkle) got engaged, they dragged out the wedding details longer than a Marvel movie marketing campaign. So of course, they’re going to do the same with Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle’s wedding. Yesterday, the Royal Family said that the wedding would happen sometime in the spring. Today, they announced that it will happen sometime in May 2018. Tomorrow, they will announce that it will happen on a weekday sometime in May 2018. On Thursday, they will announce that it will happen on a weekday during the second, third or fourth week of May 2018. Soap opera producers should hire the Royal Family PR team, because they can stretch out a story arc like no other.